Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • Technically I’m still young, but according to my back pain I’m actually 69.
  • Thank you for the opportunity but I don’t think being human is a good fit for me. I’m going to go back to school to become an octopus.
  • Girls will be like “I have so much to do” then grab some snacks and start watching a 10 part docuseries on serial killers.
  • All income is disposable if you’re brave enough.
  • The sun really clocks out for the day before I do. That’s insane.
  • Why call it a “step dad” when you could have called it a faux pas?