I was in Paris with a boyfriend once and he lit a candle in Notre Dame in order to ask God to raise the price of Bitcoin.

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The best thing about driving in the snow is staying home.

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I delete posts cause I be getting mature over the hours.

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Love triangle? You mean this Dorito?

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My husband thinks he can just order me around like he’s one of the cats.

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I think my bank account has been taking Ozempic.

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I have a sundress and no man to bend me over in it, sad day.

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Shout out to all the experts on the web who know everything there is to know about absolutely everything.

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Girls expect handwritten letters from guys who copy birthday wishes from ChatGPT.

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The only thing longer than the opening ceremony of the Olympics is the opening ceremony of my eyes in the morning.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

I can’t decide if people who wear pajamas in public have given up on life or are living it to the fullest.