Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • Only mosquitoes find me attractive. Nobody else.
  • Taking yesterday’s bad mood on a multi-day tour.
  • How can vampires enjoy drinking our hot blood in the summer and other thoughts that keep me up at night.
  • My superpower is embarrassing myself.
  • Sometimes I wish I was an octopus, so I could slap eight people at once.
  • Sorry, I’m late. I sat on my bed in a towel for 45 minutes, staring at the wall.