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There’s a Marie Antoinette feeling in the air.

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My teen believed the washing machine when it said it only had one minute left, and oh, how I laughed and laughed.

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Walmart was wild as hell today, so I fit right in.

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After all the books are banned, they’ll move on to suggestive fruit.

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Cause of death: Trying to draw eyebrows on the neighbor’s cat.

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I heard God is testing both of us at the same time. Wanna hang out?

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Scratching the mosquito bite on my foot? Literally orgasmic. This is the kind of stuff that the government doesn’t want you to know.