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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from has downloaded:

Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of imagination.

Someone from has viewed:

Ugh, those red and blue flashing lights are interfering with my driving and scrolling.

Someone from has copied:

Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It’s the transition that’s troublesome.

Someone from has viewed:

Bored as hell. Anyone want to emotionally manipulate each other?

Someone from has bookmarked:

Someone asked me if I had any hobbies and I panicked and said “lasagna”.

Someone from has shared:

Just eating the emotional support snickers bar in my purse. How about you?

Someone from has copied:

Teaching myself ukulele! Neighbor keeping the beat on my wall!

Someone from has bookmarked:

I hate it when I imagine how a conversation will go and then in the actual conversation the person goes off script. That’s not your line, man.

Someone from has bookmarked:

Felony Vandalism is a beautiful name for a girl.

Someone from has viewed:

Hey babe, wanna come over and fold me like a fitted sheet?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2305 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,467

Funny Quotes Topics

15,179

Funny Quotes Images

12,467

Updated

2 minutes ago

Users Online

3,429

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Discord:

Getting to know someone these days is impossible. No one is really single, everyone has something going on, is hung up on their ex or is otherwise damaged in some way.

Just shared via Messenger:

Not texting back is only ok when I do it.

Going viral on WeChat:

I hate when kids scream in public. You don’t have real problems. It should be me screaming.

Just shared via Facebook:

I’ve reached the conclusion that all men love thigh high stockings.

Live now on Twitch:

My parents often told me I would lose my own head if it wasn’t screwed on and now that I’m an adult, I want to know what tools I need to have it screwed off.

Trending via Telegram:

Ever since I began sharing dad jokes, my followers have doubled in sighs.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

I’m only an introvert until I meet people worth extroverting with.

Spotted on Threads:

All I’m saying is that I’m closer to being a millionaire than Jeff Bezos is.

Live now on Pinterest:

A woman’s G-spot can be found at the end of the word shopping.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

I switched from coffee to orange juice and told my doctor I felt better. He said it’s the vitamin C and natural sugars, but I think it’s the vodka.

A big F*** YOU to people driving small cars and pulling deep into parking spaces so I think I have a spot until the last second.

Jan 23, 2025

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Looks like some drivers have mastered the art of 'parking camouflage'! 🚗🦎 Don't worry, we see through your tiny car tricks! 😂 #ParkingWars"

annoyance, behavior, big, car, cars, deep, driving, driving behavior, frustration, humor, i, last, last second, parking, parking space, peeve, people, pet, pet peeve, second, small, small car, space, spot, think

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from has viewed:

Not a religious man but I do say a short prayer whenever I open a gas station restroom door.

Someone from has copied:

Nobody sighs louder than an unemployed, debt-free dog who spends at least 16 hours a day sleeping.

Someone from has shared:

The romantic says that there is the right partner for everyone. The realist says: only one person has to choose the wrong one and then it won’t work out for everyone!

Someone from has downloaded:

I’m going to be real pissed if I get my shit together and the world ends.

Someone from has downloaded:

You realize you’re getting old when your body parts start fighting over which one hurts first.

Someone from has copied:

It’s freaking me out to think of how bad I’d look at the Met Gala.

Someone from has downloaded:

Presumably, if you had a time machine, you could just kill young adult Hitler. The baby part seems gratuitous.

Someone from has copied:

Tech bros are frequently wrong but never in doubt.

Someone from has viewed:

People who can’t tell the difference between whole numbers and decimals are missing the point.

Someone from has shared:

I hope you can hear me thinking about you.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I totally get why Leonardo DiCaprio is trying to save the environment for future generations. They could be his girlfriend.

Trending via Messenger:

I don’t know who needs to hear this but you’re not dying, it’s just Monday.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Remember when we were young we wanted to stay up for New Year’s? Now we’re old and cursing because we’re staying up past 9:30 and our entire sleep routine is disturbed.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

It’s so hot, I just saw a squirrel fanning its nuts.

Trending via WhatsApp:

I woke up this morning and my hair looked like a Beatles lyric. Here, there, and everywhere.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Due to unforeseen circumstances, I will be acting weird today.

Making waves on Threads:

Need a permanent vacuum for unwanted thoughts.

Trending via Reddit:

Have been dipping my toe into doing Pilates, and let me tell you, women are real sickos.

Shared recently on Telegram:

I would go out more if there weren’t any humans out there.

Just shared via TikTok:

It’s not you. Just the things you say, think, and do.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Welcome to your 40s. “I’m too old for this shit” is now your excuse and explanation for everything.

Might start a YouTube channel “will it hurt if I drop it on my foot”.

Haircuts should be covered by insurance.

Frankly, I have too many situations and not enough monitors.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Never faked an orgasm before, but the joy of ugly presents.

Maybe this is the Windows software update that changes everything for me.

I once broke up with a guy because he ate half my french fries, and when I get really lonely, I still think about those french fries.

Spell your crush’s name backwards, mine is yenom.

I want a hot body, but I also want hot wings.

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Like, who are those little paper umbrellas trying to protect?

Roses are red, violets are blue. When I listen to rock music, my neighbors do too.

Do beavers even know what they’re doing, or do they just see water flowing down a river and think, “Absolutely not”?

Washing my hands in the sink and then wiping them on my cat, like a towel.

Turns out my superpower is the ability to go into incredible detail in completely the wrong direction.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

In a relationship with my heated car seat.

I’m not saying I need glasses. But today I watched a bunny in a meadow until it flew away.

I love tennis but never really been clear why they need a lifeguard.

It was so hot today, I thought I was going to be cremated.

Pinterest recipe so long that it’s now a limited series on Netflix.

Activity Log ✨

A big F*** YOU to people driving small cars and pulling deep into parking spaces so I think I have a spot until the last second.

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