Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

Post beach shower is undefeated. Greatest feeling a human could experience. Throw a nap in there, and you will never touch serenity so close.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

My favorite part of adulting is borrowing money from myself and paying myself back.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

Might lay here until someone draws my chalk outline.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

I will sit in the rain about this.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has copied:

Don’t be sad, laundry, nobody’s doing me either.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

It’s so funny how every true crime documentary eventually devolves into a story about how the police botched the entire investigation.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

Not enough rap songs about stores suddenly changing their layout.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

The pizza delivery guys say “see you tomorrow” to everyone, right?

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

You should be allowed to speed if good music is playing.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

I’m actually really peace-loving, but then there are other people.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,658

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Instagram:

Every man’s biggest fear is trying a new barber.

Breaking via Discord:

My only plan for this weekend is to move just enough so the people don’t think I’m dead.

Going viral on Discord:

You can’t tell me there’s anything better than earplugs; I simply will not hear it.

Spotted on Slack:

Sometimes I don’t have anything intelligent to say and sometimes I don’t let that stop me.

Shared recently on Reddit:

I’m on this new diet where I don’t consume anything that talks to me before the first coffee.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

What are some fun beginner crimes for someone getting into lawlessness?

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

The nice thing about wintertime is that it’s darker for longer, so you see a lot less people.

Making waves on YouTube:

Relationship goal: synchronizing our eye rolls.

Spotted on X:

When is someone actually going to change the surprise in the avocado? This hard core is kind of a stupid toy.

Just landed via WeChat:

My spirit animal is chasing his own tail.

A dinosaur as a pet would solve so many problems. Mainly, people problems.

3 weeks ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
I guess "dino-sitting" would be the new neighborhood watch! 🦖👀🚫

dinosaur, humor, people, people problem, pet, problem, problems, solve

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I need an emergency cheeseburger.

0

2 months ago

cheeseburger, craving, emergency, fast, fast food, food, humor, i, need, snack, urgency
“Stop recording everything and just enjoy the moment” is asking me for videos from last night.

0

2 months ago

asking, enjoy, enjoyment, everything, humor, irony, just, last, me, media, memory, moment, night, recording, social, social media, stop, video, videos
For a guy supposedly called my “brother,” I’ve never seen him make broth even once.

0

1 month ago

broth, brother, called, cooking, even, family, guy, humor, never, once, pun, seen, wordplay
Source? It was revealed to me on a walk.

0

4 months ago

casual, casual research, humor, me, research, revelation, source, walk
Why call it a “step dad” when you could have called it a faux pas?

0

2 months ago

call, dad, family, faux, faux pas, humor, jokes, parenting, pas, play, relationships, step, step dad, why, word, word play
I don’t always listen to Metallica, but when I do, so do my neighbors.

0

2 months ago

always, humor, humor quote, i, listen, loud, loud music, Metallica, music, neighbor, neighbor noise, neighbors, noise, rock

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

37 shares on YouTube this month:

Hey Grok, scan through all my mutuals and find me a girlfriend, thanks!

79 shares on Instagram this month:

Insomniacs who are not afraid of the dark have nighty-night problems but the pitch ain’t one.

76 shares on Messenger this month:

Can we all agree that Mini Cooper drivers need to put an extended flag on the back of their cars so the stalls where they’re parked stop looking empty?

62 shares on YouTube this month:

Due to personal reasons, I won’t be dropping it like it’s hot anymore.

51 shares on Telegram this month:

Adulthood is realising no one cares about you, and the show must go on.

81 shares on Reddit this month:

Nobody is doing it like me because this is probably not the right way to do it.

83 shares on Instagram this month:

I like to live life dangerously by occasionally sticking my foot out over the edge of the bed at night.

54 shares on Reddit this month:

I don’t need a New Year’s resolution, it’s the year’s turn to be better.

20 shares on Messenger this month:

If you can reach enlightenment, can you also reach endarkenment?

11 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’m not getting fatter. I’m increasing my content.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

About four minutes into my run, I’ve decided I want to work on my personality instead.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

Every weekend has two days: Saturday and It’s Monday Tomorrow.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

Can’t believe we stayed up and screamed “Happy New Year” for this shit.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

Lady just asked me what “mansplaining” is. I think it’s a trap. We’ve been staring at each other in silence for half an hour.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

I aspire to be a stay-at-home mom with no kids.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

I asked Tom Hanks for his autograph, but all he wrote was thanks.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

I support Bluesky in theory, but in practice, it’s like a JRPG with no bad guys.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

My superpower is keeping this couch cushion warm.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

Please remember, I am an inspiration for birth control.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

My New Years resolutions are to do some things, and stop doing some other things.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Instagram:

Damn girl, are you a plate of microwaved leftovers? Because you’re hot on the outside and cold on the inside.

Going viral on Threads:

I like to scan my backyard every hour with a high power flashlight to let my neighbors know I won’t tolerate any weirdness around here.

Live now on Messenger:

Another day without sex, but a mosquito just sucked on my neck and I moaned a little bit.

Going bananas on Slack:

Sure, my internet service is overpriced and spotty but you can’t put a price on unintentionally being dropped from every Zoom meeting.

Seen just now on WeChat:

If I was a microplastic, I would simply not go in the ocean or anyone’s mouth.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

It was the becestershire of times, it was the worcestershire of times.

Just shared via YouTube:

Lounging under the stars is top-tier therapy.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Feeling lonely? Just glue a coffee cup to the roof of your car. Everyone will wave to you.

Just shared via YouTube:

It is a shame that nothing is built in America anymore. I just bought a TV that said: “Built in Antenna”. I don’t even know where that is.

Live now on Reddit:

If you love someone be brave enough to tell them. Otherwise be brave enough to watch them dating someone else.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

A dinosaur as a pet would solve so many problems. Mainly, people problems.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I need an emergency cheeseburger.

“Stop recording everything and just enjoy the moment” is asking me for videos from last night.

For a guy supposedly called my “brother,” I’ve never seen him make broth even once.

Source? It was revealed to me on a walk.

Why call it a “step dad” when you could have called it a faux pas?

I don’t always listen to Metallica, but when I do, so do my neighbors.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨