Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Who needs a cleaning service when you have the power of darkness on your side? 🌚✨ Just dim the lights and voilà! Instantly tidy house achieved! 🏡😂 #LifeHacks101"

clean, evening, good, hack, house, lights, tidy, turn

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The pain of watching a movie with someone who talks a lot.

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2 months ago

annoyance, entertainment, frustration, humor, lot, movie, pain, patience, social, someone, talking, watching
Alexa, tell Roomba to get the spider.

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2 months ago

Alexa, cleaning, conversation, household, humor, robot, Roomba, spider, technology, tell
The older you get, the farther away your toenails are when they need a trim.

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2 months ago

age, aging, away, distance, humor, maintenance, need, older, self-care, toenail, toenails, trim
Damn, girl, are you Black Friday? Because I’m wondering what your bloody deal is.

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2 months ago

black, Black Friday, dating, deal, flirt, Friday, girl, humor, joke, line, pickup, pickup line, wondering
I need a vaccine against overthinking.

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2 months ago

health, humor, i, mental, mental health, need, overthinking, relief, stress, stress relief, vaccine
Turns out I’m not an afternoon person either.

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2 months ago

afternoon, coffee, energy, humor, person, personality, procrastination, sleep

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

76 shares on Threads this month:

The struggle to get off the couch and into bed is real.

45 shares on Threads this month:

When you really want to slap someone, do it and say, “Mosquito!

59 shares on TikTok this month:

I aspire to be a stay-at-home mom with no kids.

85 shares on WeChat this month:

It’s a myth that we only use 10% of our brain, but I definitely know people who use less than that.

89 shares on Threads this month:

What if AirPods had tongues and they started licking the inside of your ears to indicate they’re low on battery?

10 shares on Snapchat this month:

Behold the majestic elephant in its natural habitat, the room.

31 shares on Slack this month:

TikTok? I still call it a watch.

86 shares on Slack this month:

Holiday dinners with family are like real life boss levels with the worst loot.

73 shares on Instagram this month:

All right everyone, line up alphabetically according to your height.

47 shares on Twitch this month:

I stay up late every night, regret it in the morning, and the next day I do it all over again.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

My family asked me what I wanted for Mother’s Day, so I packed their bags and changed the locks.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

Just let your girlfriend be crazy, like who cares, bro.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

I love a touchy-feely man. Like, yes, please keep your hands on me.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

Mid-life crisis? No, no, mid-day crisis. Something happens every day.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

Sorry I’m late. I was in the car waiting for my song to end.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

Spongebob wouldn’t even mess with some of y’all. But he’d hang out with me because my heart is pure, and I like to laugh a lot.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

Pursuing an academic career is like thinking the stripper loves you.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has copied:

No pre-workout, just flashbacks of stuff I let slide.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

Maybe the reason we weren’t that affected by all the violence we saw in cartoons as kids is because it was offset by classical music.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

Yes, I upload photos with filters because I want to look good. If you want to see the ugly side of me, come to my house.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on WeChat:

If you would just let me help, you’d be in an even worse position than you are now.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I’m not easily offended, but I am easily annoyed.

Going viral on Instagram:

The Scream movies were believable in the ’90s, but no one with any common sense answers unknown numbers on their phones anymore.

Just landed via X:

I don’t mean to brag, but I can forget what I’m saying while I’m saying it.

Broadcasted on Threads:

I’m too lazy to be a superhero. If I had laser eyes, I’d probably just use them to heat soup or something.

Making waves on Slack:

The older I get, the more I walk like Charlie Chaplin.

Trending via Messenger:

Girls ask for help to open a jar, but can throw a couch during an argument.

Just landed via Slack:

I should have peed before I left, and other things I’ll never learn: A memoir

Freshly posted on Reddit:

The hottest I ever look is when I’m brushing my teeth in my underwear, but it’s very much a ‘tree falls in the woods’ situation.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Why can’t more dumb people be shy?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

A good hack to make my house look clean and tidy in the evening is to turn all the lights off.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

The pain of watching a movie with someone who talks a lot.

Alexa, tell Roomba to get the spider.

The older you get, the farther away your toenails are when they need a trim.

Damn, girl, are you Black Friday? Because I’m wondering what your bloody deal is.

I need a vaccine against overthinking.

Turns out I’m not an afternoon person either.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨