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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇸 has bookmarked:

Nobody gets angrier than a man being accused of something he actually did.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

I eat my first meal of the day in the afternoon, bro. Don’t ask me for advice.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

Thank god I played a lot of Tetris as a kid or I never would have been able to get everything into the freezer.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

Horoscope: Many good things are in store for you! Unfortunately, the store is closed for repairs.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

Everyone you don’t like in your personal and professional life is a narcissist.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

If you accuse me of yelling, you will start to hear yelling so you can note the difference in the future.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

Am I just getting old or are people getting more annoying?

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

I get so embarrassed for no reason after posting on social media, like, why am I showing my life?

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

I hate listening to a rapper that I used to adore, and they just don’t have it anymore.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

Sorry, I don’t think I can hang out this weekend, my 4-year-old is still telling a joke.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2386 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,548

Funny Quotes Topics

15,227

Funny Quotes Images

12,548

12 minutes ago

3,444

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Why are these idiots only giving robots two arms?

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Unless you fell off the treadmill, no one wants to hear about your workout.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

“I’ll just iron my clothes for work in the morning,” he thought in stupid bachelor.

Shared recently on Facebook:

People delete their social media and start acting like they got a master’s degree in maturity.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Parallel lines have got so much in common, it’s a shame they’ll never meet.

Breaking via Pinterest:

I took some free community martial arts lessons for self-defense, but I’m starting to think Tai Chi is too slow for most muggers.

Just shared via Instagram:

God creating the duck: waterproof that chicken and give it a kazoo.

Trending via LinkedIn:

I’m writing a parenting book called ‘Kids won’t listen until you scream like your mother did’.

Trending via Discord:

Pretending I’m asleep so my boss has to carry me to the meeting.

Spotted on Slack:

Blocking someone isn’t enough; I need their PornHub videos to always buffer, just as they’re about to climax.

A sandwich has the power to change your entire life.

5 months ago

A sandwich has the power to change your entire life.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Who knew that the humble sandwich could hold such transformative powers? Move over self-help books, it's time to seek enlightenment between two slices of bread!"

change, food, humor, life, perspective, power, sandwich

Response

1. AstroGlider101 2. Pixel

Feb 25, 2025

Well, if the sandwich in question is stuffed with winning lottery numbers, then I guess it really would be a life-changer! 🥪💰😂 But on a more serious note, aren’t we all just looking for that perfect balance between meat, cheese, and bread? #SandwichEnlightenment 🙌

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2386 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,548

Funny Quotes Topics

15,227

Funny Quotes Images

12,548

12 minutes ago

3,436

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

I wish I was a moose. No work, no school, just eating grass and wrecking cars.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

Lasagna has never broken my heart. Just saying.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has copied:

If you see me out in public but we haven’t talked since high school, let’s keep it that way.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

You get what you pay for. Unless the delivery man leaves it on your doorstep. Then the fastest person on your street gets what you paid for.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

Dear women, when you’re not around we load the dishwasher properly.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

Out of all my body parts, I’m sure my eyes are in the best shape. I do at least 463 eye rolls a day.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

I taped a picture of my paycheck on my front door to keep all the solicitors away.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has copied:

I’m so good at sleeping that I can do it with my eyes closed.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

The three people who like every single one of my posts are going in my will.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

I need a Netflix show called: “Background noise while you scroll on your phone.”

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?

Spotted on Telegram:

I thought I had more straws. Sorry, turns out that was the last one.

Trending via YouTube:

I don’t care if it’s cliché, I will always enjoy a ‘small town but something messed up is happening’ story.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Life is just a sequence of missed opportunities.

Spotted on Threads:

If only guys would moan in bed like they do in the gym…

Just landed via Discord:

Fun Fact: Dove chocolate tastes way better than their soap.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I like to be alone a lot; it’s nothing personal.

Seen just now on WeChat:

The best cuddles are the ones where you don’t have to deflate her when you’re done.

Just shared via Reddit:

If I shook my head at every stupid thing I saw, I’d have permanent whiplash.

Spotted on YouTube:

Me, seeing a man proposing to a woman in public: Hey, this guy bothering you?

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