Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

Notice how Lorde has a song called “Tennis Court” and not “Pickleball Court”? Tired of y’all pushing that fake sport.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

My favorite pirate song is “Aye of the Tiger”

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

McDonald’s is finally promoting good health by making their food unaffordable.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

The closest thing I’ve had to a personal trainer is the ice cream truck that drove past my house.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

My mouth moves faster than my survival instincts.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

The worst part of getting struck by lightning is everyone seeing your skeleton.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has viewed:

Love triangle? You mean this Dorito?

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

I am brilliantly social for one and a half hours, and then I need to recover in my bedroom cave for two days.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

Every Jurassic Park movie should end with an insurance adjuster getting a phone call and immediately throwing up.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

A quick shoutout to all of the sidewalks out there… Thanks for keeping me off the streets.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,674

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Facebook:

At the art museum walking slower and observing more than anyone else.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Tweeting shouldn’t cost money but it should flip you on your back like a bug for 15 minutes.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Odd people reviewing a dessert: It’s not too sweet which is what I like.

Just shared via X:

If there was a pill for procrastination… I’d probably take it tomorrow.

Spotted on Messenger:

People will say stuff like “Well, at least if WWIII happens, I won’t have to go to work…” I think in your heart you know that’s not true.

Live now on X:

People who don’t talk to themselves are the weird ones.

Live now on Snapchat:

May the Force be with you… especially in Monday meetings.

Spotted on Discord:

If your drinking story doesn’t involve law enforcement, I’m not listening.

Seen just now on YouTube:

If my toddler doesn’t sleep again tonight, I’m running away into the forest.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

The sole purpose of some household items is to make it impossible for you to open the damn drawer.

A spiral is just a circle that’s afraid of closure.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When a circle needs a therapist but just ends up going in circles! 🌀😂

afraid, circle, closure, fear, geometry, humor, just, spiral, wordplay

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

When I become president, any public holiday that falls on a Thursday automatically extends to Friday.

0

2 months ago

balance, extension, Friday, holiday, humor, i, joke, politics, president, public, Thursday, weekend, work life, work-life balance
Proposing at someone else’s wedding is out. Die at their funeral like a real man.

0

2 months ago

die, funeral, humor, man, norms, proposal, real, real man, social, social norms, someone, wedding
I’ve been ghosted enough to add paranormal investigator to my resume.

0

2 months ago

dating, ghosted, humor, investigator, paranormal, relationships, resume
It’s crazy that you don’t really argue with a baby for the first year of its life and then you have to argue with the baby every day.

0

2 months ago

argue, baby, crazy, daily, day, every, first year, humor, life, parenting, year
Remember when tweets were like: party rocking with a mouse tonight. Piece of cheese gonna have a big bite.

0

2 months ago

big, bite, cheese, mouse, party, piece, remember, rocking, tonight, tweet, Tweets
Nothing is hungrier than a Roomba that sees a charger cord.

0

2 months ago

charger, cleaning, cord, gadget, home, humor, hunger, irony, nothing, Roomba, technology

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

72 shares on Pinterest this month:

Tomorrow isn’t promised, we need to flirt today.

14 shares on Telegram this month:

I took the road less traveled because I was hoping not to run into anyone I know along the way.

10 shares on Slack this month:

Today, I want to talk about underperforming continents. Antarctica, explain yourself.

98 shares on Discord this month:

“Grey’s Anatomy” but it’s told entirely through the lens of the hospital’s HR department.

44 shares on Snapchat this month:

Hey, we’re calling off the search party. We found a different guy out there we like more.

24 shares on Slack this month:

Someone told me I’ve gained weight. I told them it was for a part in a movie. I’ve never acted in my life. Until that moment.

25 shares on Slack this month:

If you were the birthday gift I bought my wife some months ago, where would you be hiding?

58 shares on WeChat this month:

I’m done with dating sites and am now only focusing on food delivery people. They have a job, a car, and most importantly food.

25 shares on Pinterest this month:

At least I’m part of the generation that at 30 still looks like it’s in its early 20s.

23 shares on Slack this month:

Listen, before I had my coffee I didn’t know how awesome I was going to be today either.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

We could have high-speed rail that connects the entire country, but instead we get AI porn bots that steal all of our drinking water to entertain the dumbest people alive.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

People will be like “Nobody cares about your Spotify Wrapped,” and then post a picture of their baby.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

How come all the single people don’t need no one, and all the married ones need two?

Someone from 🇲🇲 has shared:

I’m not like other girls. I don’t have a podcast.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

I wonder if Mary and Joseph hated putting away the Christmas stuff as much as I do.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

It’s fun getting room service. I just love eating a $19 hamburger at a desk in front of a mirror.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

I hate to brag, but I’ve been the biggest mistake of numerous people’s lives.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

Maybe if I spend another day alone in my room then something life-changing will suddenly happen to me!?

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

White, black, yellow, brown, Democrat, Republican, man, woman, straight, gay, transgender, Jew, Christian, Muslim, young and old — you will all taste the same to the zombies.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

“Left alone” would have been the right answer as a child to the question of what I wanted to be when I grew up.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Instagram:

Ever since I was little, I always knew I wanted to retire.

Spotted on TikTok:

Two of the best things in life are laughing and orgasms. I want to make you do both a lot.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Welcome to social media. A person who does not understand humor will contact you shortly.

Broadcasted on X:

I’m the only person breathing through my nose at this Walmart.

Trending via Discord:

Since the beginning of time itself, people have been wondering, what the hell is going on?

Going viral on TikTok:

Thank you two-step authentication codes that expire after 60 seconds for providing Mission Impossible-type drama into my mundane suburban existence.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

A spiral is just a circle that’s afraid of closure.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

When I become president, any public holiday that falls on a Thursday automatically extends to Friday.

Proposing at someone else’s wedding is out. Die at their funeral like a real man.

I’ve been ghosted enough to add paranormal investigator to my resume.

It’s crazy that you don’t really argue with a baby for the first year of its life and then you have to argue with the baby every day.

Remember when tweets were like: party rocking with a mouse tonight. Piece of cheese gonna have a big bite.

Nothing is hungrier than a Roomba that sees a charger cord.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨