Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • My problem with Christmas shopping is that I keep seeing things that I like… for me.
  • My favorite recipe is the one where I pick up the phone and order food.
  • No matter how much Polynesian food you eat, you always want Samoa.
  • Need to clean the fridge, so I’m going to do the responsible thing and drink wine instead.
  • The feelings I have for Tom Cruise are the closest approximation I have to what patriotism must feel like.
  • I’ve been locked out of Tinder because of “unusual activity”. I must’ve got a match.