Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

“It is what it is,” I say, not really knowing what it actually is.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

If a tree falls on your ex in the woods and no one’s around to hear it, you should probably still get rid of the chainsaw.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

Therapists probably have to struggle so hard not to ask to see pictures of the people their clients are obsessing over.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

Dog barking like an angry baby, baby crying like an angry dog.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

People don’t get slapped enough with empty gloves these days.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

Not a religious man but I do say a short prayer whenever I open a gas station restroom door.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

Overthinking should at least burn calories.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

Dance like nobody’s watching, except God, the NSA, and Santa Claus.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

I don’t think humans were put on this earth to know what Salesforce is. It’s unnatural.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

If camera lenses are round, why are the pictures square?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,277

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on LinkedIn:

The biggest joke on mankind is that computers have started asking humans to prove that they are not robots.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

To anybody who thinks being self-employed means you don’t have to work for a boss you hate, I have terrible news.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

Ladies, if a man says he will fix something, he will. There is no need to remind him every 6 months about it.

Shared recently on Messenger:

I don’t like who I become when I’m watching someone Google something less efficiently than I would myself.

Spotted on Instagram:

My life coach told me I didn’t make the team.

Going viral on Snapchat:

No matter how small you make that “unsubscribe” link, I’ll still find it.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Do you ever feel like you’re a white shirt and life is a red wine?

Just shared via Telegram:

I don’t need therapy, I need a bagel with cream cheese.

Just shared via Messenger:

“Are you sexually active?” Dude, I’m not even socially active.

Freshly posted on Discord:

I like how the Tooth Fairy got the job, and then subbed it out to everyone’s parents. That’s called “business savvy.”

Absurdity is the spice of life.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Just when you thought your life was bland, a heaping spoonful of absurdity turns it into a comedy casserole! 🍜😂

absurdity, fun, humor, irony, life, quirkiness, spice

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I miss the old days back in the 70s, when I didn’t exist.

0

2 months ago

70s, back, days, exist, existence, humor, i, miss, nostalgia, old, past, time
It took me 5 minutes to do something I’ve been stressing about for 6 months. I will learn nothing from this.

0

2 months ago

humor, i, irony, learn, learning, me, minutes, nothing, procrastination, realization, something, stress, time
There is a house I drive by most days and I can never tell if they are having a yard sale or that is just how they live.

0

2 months ago

clutter, days, drive, drive by, everyday, everyday life, funny observation, having, house, humor, i, just, life, live, living, never, observation, sale, tell, yard, yard sale
I hate hotel bath towels. So thick and fluffy, I can’t even close my suitcase.

0

2 months ago

bath, bath towel, close, even, fluffy, frustration, hate, hotel, humor, i, packing, suitcase, thick, towel, travel
Olympic gymnast: does the most amazing thing I have ever seen in my entire life. Announcer: Oh dear, that will be a point deduction.

0

2 months ago

amazing, announcer, competition, deduction, ever, gymnast, humor, i, life, oh, Olympic, point, point deduction, seen, sports, thing
I grew up in a poor family. We didn’t have much, but we had each other. And that was the worst part.

0

2 months ago

childhood, dynamics, each other, family, family dynamics, growing, growing up, humor, i, irony, much, poor, poor family, worst, worst part

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

46 shares on WhatsApp this month:

You can’t stop me. My tampon wrapper told me I was bold and brilliant.

40 shares on Snapchat this month:

Getting the ick because he put the windshield wipers on at a higher rate than was needed.

82 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’m not sure how long my body can handle this “getting out of bed early in the morning” nonsense.

61 shares on Reddit this month:

The worst part about getting sucked up by the tornado you’re filming is to die knowing your wife was right. You are an idiot.

79 shares on X this month:

When you said “let’s circle back to that in the new year” and now it’s the new year.

60 shares on Reddit this month:

I’m not actively avoiding you. I don’t actively do anything.

86 shares on WhatsApp this month:

This is actually worse than Biff Tennan’s future.

24 shares on Pinterest this month:

You should leave your comfort zone and come to mine instead.

33 shares on Instagram this month:

I forgot to sweep up some crumbs earlier, and I just heard an ant moaning in pleasure as he discovered the bounty.

73 shares on Telegram this month:

At my funeral, sit me up so I can see who’s talking to my man.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇲 has copied:

I have a brain that wants to be alone, and a heart that wants to be loved.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

Hey babe, wanna come over and fold me like a fitted sheet?

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

Actually, no one sees you at your worst like your coworkers do.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

I just want someone who will treat me like a lady and hold the refrigerator door open for me.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

Even worse than the buzzing of the mosquitoes is the moment when it suddenly stops.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

Not to brag, but I can trip over things that aren’t even there!

Someone from 🇲🇻 has shared:

Teens are like, “My homework isn’t done, but check out this presentation I made on why I need Instagram.”

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

Oasis didn’t just write good songs. They wrote the soundtrack for a whole generation.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

Waiting until 4:59 p.m. on Fridays to send an email, because any response is Monday’s problem.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has downloaded:

One of the benefits of being my friend is that you can come to my house in your pajamas, no make-up, and look like crap and I won’t judge you.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Instagram:

I’m not super into getting older but I do like how nobody asks me to help them move anymore.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

I’m seriously considering adoption. Who wants me?

Seen just now on Discord:

My favorite part of football is when they feed the players water like they’re hamsters.

Going viral on Pinterest:

I have decided to purchase the grocery store because it is now cheaper than the groceries inside it.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Sometimes I think I should talk to my colleagues more often. Until I talk to my colleagues.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

“I have an AI boyfriend.” No, you don’t. It’s Adam and Eve or Adam and Steve, not Adam and USB.

Making waves on YouTube:

I only have one wish in life… For all my dreams to come true.

Freshly posted on Slack:

A two-step guide to warning someone not to hit their head: 1. Wait until they’ve hit their head. 2. Say “Ooh, mind your head!”

Trending via TikTok:

My front facing camera got me looking like a failed science project.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Absurdity is the spice of life.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I miss the old days back in the 70s, when I didn’t exist.

It took me 5 minutes to do something I’ve been stressing about for 6 months. I will learn nothing from this.

There is a house I drive by most days and I can never tell if they are having a yard sale or that is just how they live.

I hate hotel bath towels. So thick and fluffy, I can’t even close my suitcase.

Olympic gymnast: does the most amazing thing I have ever seen in my entire life. Announcer: Oh dear, that will be a point deduction.

I grew up in a poor family. We didn’t have much, but we had each other. And that was the worst part.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨