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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

You know you’re mature when you go to the dentist and you are no longer afraid of pain, but of how much it costs.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

Just another day of not being hot and rich.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

In a turn of unexpected events, I need to learn karate by tomorrow morning.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

“Hope this email finds you doing well!” The email found me, therefore I am unwell.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

My mind not only wanders, sometimes it leaves completely!

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

After weeks of using an anti aging cream, I can now proudly say: I now have very well-maintained wrinkles.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

WhatsApp shouldn’t just display “seen”, but also “lies” and “also writes with other girls”!

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

I can’t even think straight knowing a package got delivered while I’m not home.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

I was having a great Friday until I found out it was Thursday.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

99% of celebrating your birthday as an adult just consists of texting back “thanks so much”.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2049 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,211

Funny Quotes Topics

14,960

Funny Quotes Images

12,211

Updated

4 minutes ago

Users Online

3,445

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Twitch:

Need someone to feed me Doritos while I read, so I don’t mess up the pages. No weirdos.

Shared recently on Instagram:

WhatsApp shouldn’t just display “seen”, but also “lies” and “also writes with other girls”!

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Worst part of a corporate job is no tips. Someone should slip you a $20 if you write a killer email.

Making waves on TikTok:

Think I’ll get high enough to find out if there’s a God. Stay tuned.

Going viral on Pinterest:

It’s funny how you can annoy unhappy people by remaining calm.

Reported on YouTube:

Being a consultant would be fun. Like “hmmm… maybe! Here’s your invoice.”

Just landed via Reddit:

I’m pretty sure I fall under the percentage of people who’ve eaten the sticker on the apple.

Just landed via TikTok:

A car window made specifically for a dog to stick its head out of is called a sunwoof.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Women swear they be broke… Then, all of a sudden, here comes that Shein delivery.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

When one door closes, lock it securely, along with all your other doors and windows, before any inspirational quotes get in.

Adulthood is about being able to eat cookies for breakfast, but not doing it because you already ate all the cookies.

Adulthood is about being able to eat cookies for breakfast, but not doing it because you already ate all the cookies.
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Commentary:
"Adulthood is a tricky balancing act – knowing you *could* have cookies for breakfast, but also realizing you wolfed them down last night in a moment of weakness 🍪😂 #adultingtroubles"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2049 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,211

Funny Quotes Topics

14,960

Funny Quotes Images

12,211

Updated

4 minutes ago

Users Online

3,453

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

The best way to enjoy your tea while the world is falling apart around you is to remember that the world has always been falling apart around you.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

Next time I lose my mind I swear I’m not even going to look for it any more.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has viewed:

If I say, “First of all,” run away, because I have prepared peer-reviewed research, data, and charts, and I will destroy you.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

Getting tired without doing anything is an art form.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

Breaking news is really breaking me.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has viewed:

God: “You’re all a bunch of bastards and I should never have created you.”

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

If you ever feel like something’s missing in your life, it’s probably me.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

I always work very hard and intensively to ensure that my wife can proudly say: “That idiot over there? Yes, that’s mine!”

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

Not much is worse than that feeling of going back to work after a lunch, or a vacation, or just going to work in general.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

My boss told me to start every presentation with a joke. The first slide was my paycheck.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Discord:

When your kid asks you where the other parent is, they’re really saying that they’d like to speak with the manager.

Going viral on Discord:

Diarrhea awareness week starts today. Runs through Sunday.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Women will invite you to shower with them, then cook you alive with a temperature of water you didn’t know existed.

Seen just now on Telegram:

I don’t hold grudges. I just remember facts very aggressively.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

The real threat to Democracy is the Bureaucracy.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Technically mixed martial arts can include tickle fighting.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Finally got around to emptying the vegetable drawer of the fridge before something started its independence movement in there.

Going viral on Snapchat:

The ideal man is always thinking of several cool things at once (throwing a football really far, a truck with big wheels, giving a lot of high fives).

Freshly posted on Discord:

I want to clarify that what I publish on social media does not define me as a person; I am worse.

Live now on WeChat:

No, I don’t like nature. I can’t respect anything that would so flippantly turn dinosaurs into birds.

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