Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Adulthood is a tricky balancing act – knowing you *could* have cookies for breakfast, but also realizing you wolfed them down last night in a moment of weakness 🍪😂 #adultingtroubles"

able, adulthood, being, breakfast, choices, cooky, doing, eat, eating, humor, irony, responsibility

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Tuesday is no better than Monday.

0

2 months ago

better, humor, Monday, motivation, procrastination, sarcasm, Tuesday, weekday, workweek
You’re so cultured I’mma start calling you Yogurt.

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2 months ago

calling, clever, cultured, humor, nickname, start, wordplay, yogurt
Hear me out: agenda reveal parties for people we don’t trust.

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2 months ago

agenda, event, hear, humor, irony, me, party, people, reveal, social, social event, trust
Behind every robot that turns evil is an engineer who specifically installed red LEDs into the eyes just for this scenario.

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2 months ago

design, engineer, every, evil, eyes, humor, irony, just, led, red, red LED, robot, scenario, technology
Guys only want one thing and it’s my grandmother’s meatball recipe.

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2 months ago

food, grandmother, guys, humor, joke, meatball, only, recipe, relationship, thing, want
Can’t believe I didn’t get invited to that party I would have made up an excuse not to go to.

0

2 months ago

believe, event, excuse, humor, i, invitation, invited, party, sarcasm, social, social event

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

13 shares on Discord this month:

For my final act of love, I will never contact you again, but think of you always.

43 shares on Pinterest this month:

When you meet twins, demand to speak with the one in charge.

59 shares on WeChat this month:

The man who invented autocorrect has died. Restaurant in peace.

44 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Do you also sometimes turn on the TV just so you have background noise or am I weird?

20 shares on Pinterest this month:

Make sure you stock up on condoms, so you don’t produce any more idiots.

40 shares on Messenger this month:

It is a mistake to say that the people who live a hundred years from now will have nothing to laugh at. They can laugh at us.

90 shares on Slack this month:

Getting an extra 20 minutes in the day when someone cancels a meeting is like finding a penny on the ground. Not gonna use it for anything, but wow, am I excited.

19 shares on Discord this month:

The difference between a Lamborghini and a dead body is that I don’t have a Lamborghini in my garage.

41 shares on Twitch this month:

Plot Twist: Your taxes cheated on you.

30 shares on TikTok this month:

If I was a priest, I’d make my side of the confession booth really big so I could run around.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

Twitter actually is my diary, so you’re not allowed to get mad at the things I post. You’re not even supposed to be reading this. Why were you going through my stuff?

Someone from 🇺🇾 has downloaded:

The question is, what will kill humanity this century? Artificial intelligence or natural stupidity?

Someone from 🇬🇧 has shared:

Bears and worms have almost nothing in common. But gummy bears and gummy worms? Very similar.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

I’m planning to save money on Christmas gifts this year by wrapping up all the toys my toddler dropped behind the couch.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

Apple, who gives you permission to turn the brightness down again when I’ve just turned it up?

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

I simply accept my extreme loneliness as punishment for something I did in a past life, and don’t worry about it.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has viewed:

My body looks like I have a great personality.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

“Fox Mulder” is an aggressively sexy name.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

Spending 5 minutes looking up every word I want to use in a sentence to make sure I can define it in case they ask.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

Sailors wish they could swear like me.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Reddit:

My life is a constant cycle of waiting for the weekend.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Not to brag, but what a time to be childless.

Just shared via YouTube:

Good morning only to the complexity and uncertainty of everything.

Making waves on Twitch:

We got the Christmas tree yesterday, and now my wife knows that I was the chief architect working on the leaning tower of Pisa.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Getting married soon. Just need a spouse.

Live now on Messenger:

I’m homeless. Minus the ‘m’.

Just landed via Discord:

I see why history can repeat itself. People are really stupid.

Spotted on TikTok:

The show “How I Met Your Mother” was just a really long TED talk.

Going viral on Facebook:

That’s not fat. It’s bonus content.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Just waiting for my laundry to be done so I can pop it in the dryer and forget about it again.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Adulthood is about being able to eat cookies for breakfast, but not doing it because you already ate all the cookies.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Tuesday is no better than Monday.

You’re so cultured I’mma start calling you Yogurt.

Hear me out: agenda reveal parties for people we don’t trust.

Behind every robot that turns evil is an engineer who specifically installed red LEDs into the eyes just for this scenario.

Guys only want one thing and it’s my grandmother’s meatball recipe.

Can’t believe I didn’t get invited to that party I would have made up an excuse not to go to.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨