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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

Only time I believe a man is when he tells me that I’m pretty.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

I want to be the kind of person who eats half a grapefruit for breakfast and runs every morning, but I also want to be happy.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

A girl was coming over till she wasn’t—that’s what happened.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

I’ve spent 80% of my adult life resetting my password.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

People who say that they don’t have time for my bullshit should wake up an hour earlier.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has shared:

Instead of being constantly irritated by other people’s flaws, I’ve decided to become more self-absorbed.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

I get all the cardio I need by running out of patience.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

“What’s wrong with you?” Right now or in general?

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

The gaps in my resume are from the space bar.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

I am officially at the age where old people think I am young and young people think I am old.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,517

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Twitch:

If at first you don’t succeed, that’s so embarrassing. Why are you so bad at this?

Spotted on Facebook:

The question “how is work” really pisses me off. Work is work, bro, I don’t know what else you want me to say.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Say what you want about online meetings, but there are few things more liberating than attending a disciplinary hearing naked from the waist down.

Going viral on WeChat:

Turns out, sitting on the porch, feeding birds and squirrels, is a pretty good treatment for depression.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

In hell, you wait for a ‘verify your email address’ email that never arrives.

Making waves on Reddit:

Buying books and reading them are actually two entirely different hobbies.

Seen just now on Threads:

AirBnB is fun for when you want to be financially abused by a stranger with a binder filled with rules.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

If I shook my head at every stupid thing I saw, I’d have permanent whiplash.

Trending via WeChat:

Why isn’t there a mosquito that sucks fat?

Just shared via Snapchat:

People who say that they don’t have time for my bullshit should wake up an hour earlier.

Adulthood is saying “but after this week things will slow down a bit” over and over until you die.

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Adulthood is saying “but after this week things will slow down a bit” over and over until you die.
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Commentary:
Adulthood is essentially a never-ending rollercoaster where the promise of relaxation is always just out of reach 🎢😅 It's like chasing after a mirage in the desert, except that mirage is a quiet weekend that never seems to materialize! 🏜️💼 Just keep chasing those elusive moments of peace between meetings and deadlines until the end of time! ⏳😂

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

34 shares on WhatsApp this month:

All I do is go to work, come home, blink and suddenly I’m back at work.

60 shares on TikTok this month:

I think it broke my boyfriend’s heart when I said he couldn’t have Salma Hayek for Valentine’s Day.

24 shares on TikTok this month:

I think that McDonalds is putting an unhealthy amount of lettuce in the Big Macs these days.

21 shares on Discord this month:

When it gets past my bedtime, I get so scared.

16 shares on Instagram this month:

People just don’t build cities on rock and roll anymore.

95 shares on Snapchat this month:

The more you embrace your crazy side, the more fun life becomes.

23 shares on Reddit this month:

It’s funny how quickly you become difficult if you don’t always just say “yes”.

69 shares on YouTube this month:

My outfit is from Gucci and the body from Ferrero.

35 shares on Facebook this month:

I regret to inform you that the secret to appearing well-read is to read.

51 shares on TikTok this month:

“I’m like Sisyphus but with dishes. Dishyphus.”

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Why does tiredness on the couch not follow me to the bed?

8 folks are currently checking 👀

If these walls could talk, they would definitely say “Wow, this guy really does add cheese to everything after all!”

18 folks are currently checking 👀

All the things I like to do are either immoral, illegal, or fattening.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

My gf doesn’t really like it when I talk about my ex, which means I now have a lot of stories from college where I’m just alone for some reason.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Humans can accomplish so much, unless it’s parking at a shopping center during the holidays.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Laziness is the mother of all bad habits, but ultimately she is a mother, and we should respect her.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate it when I’m gossiping at work and a customer wants to be served. How rude is that?

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I can do anything, as long as there’s a looming deadline and serious consequences.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I want to be so rich that when I see a spider in my house I won’t kill it, I’d buy another house.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Perhaps moths don’t seek the light, but are simply fleeing the darkness.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,414

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

People that never want to leave the house unite! Separately at our own homes.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

I have a lot in common with AI. We occasionally provide incorrect information with a confident tone.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

You’re never too old to become less of an idiot.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

Old people be like, “No elbows on the table, it’s rude,” then say something racist.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

Due to the humidity, my hair has chosen violence.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

And then there are people who can only sleep on their back because their pea brain could slip out of their ear if they lie on their side.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

Nothing hurts more than someone not getting your joke.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

The people who are $30 trillion in debt are giving you a credit score.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

I know life can be tough, but you still gotta wear deodorant.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

I like my women like I like my glasses: thick, transparent, and uneven.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via X:

The best thing about dogs is you can act like something really good just happened, and they’ll instantly start celebrating too. They have no idea what the context is; they’re just always ready to party, no matter what.

Breaking via YouTube:

If you’re a dude and you’re having a bad day, just remember, no one cares.

Spotted on Messenger:

By day I am just a regular loser, by night I am the same loser only it’s nighttime.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Be warned: I’m bored. This could get dangerous.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

The walk of shame, except it’s me at a bowling alley walking back to sit down after I knock down zero pins with bumpers.

Making waves on Instagram:

Sometimes I wonder if the strangers I see when I go outside are actually the people I talk to online.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

If I were Noah, I’d bring three of every animal just to create some drama.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Journaling was the most useless thing l ever attempted. Not only am I still suffering but now there’s evidence.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Today’s the day I’m gonna’ make the onions cry.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Once my school teacher lectured me for unacceptable behavior. That’s 30 mins of sleep I am never getting back

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