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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

Anyone know if we got the meek inheriting the Earth today?

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

Shoutout to myself for ruining my own life.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

Perhaps moths don’t seek the light, but are simply fleeing the darkness.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

There are two types of people in politics. Avoid them.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has viewed:

Cake hits so much harder off a plastic fork.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

If someone asks you if you’re in the queue, what they actually mean is “you’re really shit at queuing, aren’t you?”

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

Frodo is a beautiful name for a boy. Has a ring to it.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

You gotta ask people nowadays, are you single single, mad at your partner single, blocked single or single just in your head.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

My toxic trait is thinking I deserve a vacation… while still on vacation.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

I’ve done literally nothing all day, except feel guilty about doing nothing all day.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,491

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Reddit:

It’s just a matter of time until they add “syndrome” after my name.

Going viral on Instagram:

Sorry, I can’t hang out tomorrow. I hung out with people a week ago and I’m still recovering from that.

Spotted on YouTube:

I’m not just a pretty face, I’m also a massive disappointment to my family.

Breaking via Snapchat:

Imagine how scary sharks would be if they wore necklaces made out of our teeth.

Breaking via TikTok:

I don’t mean to disrupt the hotel industry, but how about checkout is 24 hours after you check in?

Just landed via Facebook:

American homes are so strange because, why is your front door in the living room?

Just landed via LinkedIn:

I end all my sentences with “Just saying..” because ending them with “You bonehead..” would probably be considered offensive.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

My daughter’s morning alarm is less to wake her up, and more to warn the rest of us.

Spotted on Facebook:

Real lovers are currently single, by the way.

Seen just now on X:

Sure the Lego botanical sets are great but dusting them is another story.

Adulting is realizing you can’t skip work like you skipped school.

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Adulting is realizing you can’t skip work like you skipped school.
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Commentary:
"Turns out, you can't fake a cough to call in sick when your boss is on your social media! 🤧🚫📲 #AdultingFails"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

56 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’m not saying Lois Lane is a bad investigative journalist, but my friend Greg didn’t wear glasses to work yesterday and I recognized him by lunch time.

18 shares on Reddit this month:

Many people mistakenly believe that diamond is the hardest substance on earth, but in reality it is my husband’s stubborn head.

36 shares on Threads this month:

Life is really sucking the life out of me.

79 shares on Snapchat this month:

I tried meowing back at the cat to show him I was making an effort, but he just switched to English.

47 shares on Snapchat this month:

All dogs go to heaven, but I never see them in church.

70 shares on Reddit this month:

McDonald’s needs a 3rd window so you can trade in all the wrong stuff they gave you.

44 shares on Telegram this month:

Addicted to bad posture. Omggg, why is it so comfortable to give yourself scoliosis?

57 shares on TikTok this month:

Getting a second opinion about my Tamagotchi’s health.

71 shares on Snapchat this month:

You feel me? Bro, I haven’t felt anything since the Scholastic Book Fair.

28 shares on Pinterest this month:

BREAKING: OpenAI to partner with OpenAI to help fund OpenAI. OpenAI up 90%.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Most of your problems emanate from assuming that you are intelligent. Ease into your stupidity, and be free.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

If you ask him what he admires most about a woman and he says brains, you’ve got yourself a zombie.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

What a bleak life it must be if you’ve never had a drink shoot through your nose when you laugh.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Back to the Future and chill?

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Rorschach tests are like so easy. Everything’s either a demon or a butterfly and it’s up to you to decide.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I think some of you are faking your sarcasms.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Therapy isn’t about being “fixed.” It’s about being your therapist’s favorite patient.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I used to party all night. Now I check the weather forecast for the next day to see if it’s a good laundry day.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Any tips on being smart? For someone just getting into thinking.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t even want a new year this year. I’ll take a lightly used 2006, if it’s available.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,386

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

Your ex is probably in a relationship, thinking about you.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

It’s like 10,000 lies when all you need is the files.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

Every time I have to leave the house and be around people I remember why I hate having to leave the house and be around people.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

It’s obvious now that democracy is a busted flush and that in future politicians should be selected via several rigorous rounds of Taskmaster.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

Everyone hates on the dentist but at least they don’t try to weigh you.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

Touched a tree and accidentally absorbed 400 years of wisdom and 2 squirrel secrets.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has copied:

Kendrick inspires me to be a bigger, deeper, more passionate hater.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

The main function of the little toe on your foot is to make sure that all the objects and furniture in the house are in the correct place.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

Breaking News: No matter how close you are with your colleagues, never discuss your personal matters at work. Neverrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

Girl dinner, but it’s the hearts of men who wouldn’t take ‘no’ for an answer.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Messenger:

The sweet spot is just enough pain to know you’re alive, but not quite enough to wish you were dead.

Spotted on Discord:

I would pay extra for a dental hygienist who was comfortable with silence.

Just landed via WeChat:

I knew the date was going well when we shared a glass of gravy with two straws.

Making waves on Twitch:

You should never donate to people that collect money for marathons. They just take your money and run.

Trending via Messenger:

One week of daily crunches and I have abs…urdly underestimated how long it will take to see results.

Breaking via YouTube:

The easiest way to bundle your home and auto insurance is to live in your car.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Right now somebody’s therapist is hearing about YOU.

Making waves on Threads:

Nothing ruins your weekend faster than remembering Monday is lurking in the shadows.

Going viral on Twitch:

I would love to be the reason you look at your phone and smile. Then walk into a wall.

Going bananas on TikTok:

My favorite part of parenting is when they’re asleep.

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