Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

The lion does not concern himself at all. The lion is depressed.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

The biggest problem with finding another job is I don’t want one.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

Who called it a deep freeze instead of ice-o-lation?

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

The Epstein client list but to the tune of Mambo number 5.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

First date idea: we search for each other’s criminal history together.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has downloaded:

If camera lenses are round, why are the pictures square?

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

Everyone you know is fighting battles you don’t know about, except for my neighbor who just can not shut up about his battles.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

Typos is the Greek god of spelling errors.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

Sledding is the best! (until you have to walk back up the hill)

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

My sex face is the same as my first pee in three hours face.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,597

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Instagram:

Girl, are you an Uber driver? Because you are driving me to drink.

Seen just now on Messenger:

I’m sick of getting woken up at 6am by the bin men. I just want a nice sleep but they always insist that I get out of the bin before they collect it.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Hey Grok, scan through all my mutuals and find me a girlfriend, thanks!

Shared recently on TikTok:

Do you remember when you looked through binoculars upside down and everyone was really far away? That was nice.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I love being home and doing absolutely nothing and never contributing to society.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

To the spirits in my walls: going to the store, be right back.

Trending via YouTube:

I wish I was as tired at bedtime as I am at 2 p.m. on any given day.

Live now on Pinterest:

In contrast to the ship, the movie Titanic was quite well received in America.

Trending via Instagram:

No place in this world is as dark as my archived chats on WhatsApp.

Trending via Slack:

I failed as a person; I’m a dinosaur now.

Adulting’s a total scam. Bills, taxes, and a laundry pile that breeds in the dark, were not in the brochure!

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Adulting: where the responsibilities multiply like socks in the laundry! 🧦🌀💸

adulthood, adulting, bill, bills, brochure, chore, complaint, dark, humor, laundry, life, life struggle, pile, responsibility, scam, struggle, tax

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

They should invent a DoorDash but for a kiss goodnight and getting tucked in.

0

3 months ago

affection, bedtime, comfort, delivery, DoorDash, getting, goodnight, humor, invent, kiss, kiss goodnight, relationship, should, tuck, tuck in
Never faked an orgasm before, but the joy of ugly presents.

0

2 months ago

before, expectation, gift, humor, joy, never, orgasm, present, relationship, surprise, ugly, ugly present
Yeah, Instagram is bad for our mental health, but what about Outlook?

0

2 months ago

bad, health, humor, Instagram, media, mental, mental health, outlook, social, social media, stress, technology, work, work stress
“I don’t care!”, he posted, again.

0

2 months ago

again, attitude, care, humor, i, media, post, social, social media
If it weren’t for this whole job thingy that pays me money, I’d become a professional nap taker.

0

2 months ago

balance, humor, humorous, ID, job, me, money, nap, procrastination, professional, relaxation, sleep, whole, work life, work-life balance
At my size, I’d be called Buffet the Vampire Slayer.

0

2 months ago

buffet, food, humor, ID, joke, play, play on words, size, Slayer, vampire, words

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

71 shares on Instagram this month:

It’s crazy how genuinely entertaining it is to stare into an open fire. That’s some real epigenetic memory shit.

17 shares on X this month:

Salt is just angry sugar.

74 shares on WeChat this month:

You want me to turn around? The thing that led to a total eclipse of the heart.

50 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Going to work has backfired on me so many times.

48 shares on Threads this month:

In a previous life I may have been a carrier pigeon, in that all I ever think about is going home.

39 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Marry the man who treats your dumb questions like they’re NASA-level problems.

83 shares on Threads this month:

Strange new trend at the office. People putting names on food in the company fridge. Today I had a tuna sandwich named Linda.

83 shares on Reddit this month:

What kind of psychopath wants to be the life of the party?

23 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’m so lucky people can’t hear what I’m thinking.

89 shares on Pinterest this month:

Stop telling people to grow up. Have you seen adults?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

It’s cool how seeing a less flattering photo of an attractive friend does not change my perception of them at all, but seeing one of myself makes me want to jump off a bridge.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

If you have gray in your beard, you can hit it.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

Incredibly annoying that exercising, eating right, and drinking water can make you actually feel good.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

It’s beginning to cost a lot like Christmas.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

“You’re overthinking this!” Bro, I have anxiety. I have no other type of thinking available.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

“Stalking”. God forbid I have access to public information and know how to utilize my resources.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

Babe, wake up, it’s stupid outside!

Someone from 🇱🇨 has copied:

Having no one to talk would get you a good sleeping schedule.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

Fitness influencer: It’s important to listen to your body. Body: You’re old. And you want lasagna.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

Some people get a bit strange as they get older. Not me. I’ve always been like that!

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on TikTok:

All I want is to live well and to die in a manner so bizarre and gruesome it can only be described with a German word.

Making waves on WeChat:

If your god commands you to kill others, find another god.

Going viral on YouTube:

Is it too late to reset my life back to factory settings?

Making waves on TikTok:

For someone with a dry phone, I’m on it way too much.

Just landed via Messenger:

I’m lacking vitamin c-ash.

Making waves on Telegram:

I may join the cicadas this summer and just scream for six weeks straight.

Just shared via Facebook:

I am under no obligation to make sense to you.

Just shared via WeChat:

Schedule your appointment early in the month before your dentist starts fretting about their next boat payment.

Shared recently on X:

Life is giving me no lemons. It’s throwing watermelons.

Shared recently on Telegram:

It’s strange that watching paint dry is considered boring but going to an art gallery is considered interesting. That’s just watching paint that’s already dry.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Adulting’s a total scam. Bills, taxes, and a laundry pile that breeds in the dark, were not in the brochure!

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

They should invent a DoorDash but for a kiss goodnight and getting tucked in.

Never faked an orgasm before, but the joy of ugly presents.

Yeah, Instagram is bad for our mental health, but what about Outlook?

“I don’t care!”, he posted, again.

If it weren’t for this whole job thingy that pays me money, I’d become a professional nap taker.

At my size, I’d be called Buffet the Vampire Slayer.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨