Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Age is just a number, but on Facebook, it's more like a state secret 🕵️‍♂️🤫. After 35, birthdays become classified information for your profile 😂🔒 #AgelessAndFacelessLikeANinja"

35, after, age, birthday, Facebook, growing, growing up, humor, just, keep, media, number, perception, social, social media

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

41 shares on Threads this month:

Caveman: I just invented the wheel. Journalist: Here’s why the wheel is bad for humanity.

18 shares on Twitch this month:

“No idea” doesn’t mean I don’t know the answer. I just don’t want to have a conversation.

86 shares on Discord this month:

You’re a ghost driving a meat-coated skeleton made from stardust, riding a rock, hurtling through space. Fear nothing.

69 shares on WeChat this month:

I hate when people ask me: “Why are you so quiet?” Because I am. That’s how I function. I don’t ask others, “Why do you talk so much?” It’s rude.

47 shares on Snapchat this month:

Happiness is when you really have nothing to do with people you want absolutely nothing to do with.

22 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Sorry, I didn’t text back. I don’t like talking to people anymore.

68 shares on Discord this month:

I would like to see the USA go metric before I die, just so I can enjoy the outrage that would follow.

68 shares on LinkedIn this month:

An adult is a person who makes noise when they stand up.

37 shares on YouTube this month:

Halloween is the only day you can ghost someone and blame it on being festive.

78 shares on WeChat this month:

I hate dealing with fresh garlic. Each individual clove with their little f***ing paperwork.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

Holding it together with duct tape and sarcasm.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

I’m not starting a presentation with “ladies and gentlemen”, I’m using the gender neutral “to those who heed my warnings”.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has viewed:

Good morning to everyone except those who need approval from strangers on the internet.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

Television is better for you than phone. It is like vaping vs smoking.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

Be nice to me, I may be hot one day.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

No, I’m not “dating anyone.” I’m really busy playing outside.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

“Work smarter, not harder.” Brother, I’m not doing either of those things.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

Dying and being reincarnated as a beetle, and crawling to my old body’s grave, and digging down and living in my old ribcage.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

I wonder how long you could drive in a roundabout before a cop would be like, hey, you can’t do that anymore.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

Abandoned amusement parks are so creepy. It’s no wonder they were abandoned.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Facebook:

Normalize saying, “Just as the oracle foretold,” when things go your way.

Trending via Pinterest:

“You look tired!” Bro, I want to stop existing.

Making waves on X:

Apparently, I’m not even going through a lot; I just need money.

Shared recently on Telegram:

“Your password is too weak.” OK, well, I created him in my image.

Seen just now on Messenger:

I know Jesus was a carpenter, but I think he would’ve been a better plumber, you know, with the water thing.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Idiocracy wasn’t supposed to be a documentary.

Just shared via Twitch:

My weight loss journey is just the three hours in between meals.

Just shared via Slack:

Life would be so much easier if the nose of people who lie all the time did actually grow longer like Pinocchio’s.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Source? It was revealed to me on my walk.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Overthinking should at least burn calories.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Age is just a number that you keep off of Facebook after 35.

Wanna come over and see my mis-matched sock collection?

Let’s just call ourselves divorced now and skip the stressful, expensive bit in the middle.

My husband thinks he can just order me around like he’s one of the cats.

That pen in the junk drawer that hasn’t been used in four years picked today to have an attitude.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Age is just a number that you keep off of Facebook after 35.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Line dancing was created by women waiting to use the restroom.

Wanna come over and see my mis-matched sock collection?

Let’s just call ourselves divorced now and skip the stressful, expensive bit in the middle.

I’m not shy. I just don’t like you.

My husband thinks he can just order me around like he’s one of the cats.

That pen in the junk drawer that hasn’t been used in four years picked today to have an attitude.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨