Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • I asked my doctor if I’m healthy enough for sex and he told me I’m not even sexy enough for health.
  • My son just turned an everything bagel into an everywhere bagel.
  • I can always tell what part of my cycle I’m in by how concerned my friends are over my Tweets.
  • At my age, a trail of clothes leading to the bedroom, means I dropped them on the way from the dryer.
  • If I ever had to fight a bear, I hope it’s a gummy bear.
  • Santa baby, slip some mental stability under the tree, for me.