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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

Ever since I turned 20, someone is always in Japan or Italy. Is it like this forever?

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

The worst part about re-watching Home Alone is you just know Kevin’s parents bought this house for like $250K.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has viewed:

When I say “the other day”, it can be anytime between yesterday and my birth.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

Tonight I will make history, by turning off incognito mode.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

Even though he murders a lot of people, you can tell Freddie Kruger is a fun loving guy cause he goes by Freddie and not Fred or Frederick.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

The way I forget stuff at my age, I just know it is over for me after 50.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

There’s a disconnect between the decibel level of my car singing and my talent.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

I hope your spoon slides into your soup.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

Quickie so fast, it’s called secs.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

Why did they have to bleep out everything R2D2 said?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

782 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,944

Funny Quotes Topics

13,916

Funny Quotes Images

10,944

Updated

45 minutes ago

Users Online

3,424

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on YouTube:

I hate when my kids ask me impossible questions like: What day is it?

Just landed via Snapchat:

You know those lines you see painted on parking lots? I know this will come as a shock to some of you, but you’re supposed to park between them.

Spotted on YouTube:

I think God was high when he made me.

Trending via Pinterest:

I will not hesitate to use dark magic on you.

Just shared via Twitch:

One interesting thing I learned in my thirties is that you can leave a bar before it closes.

Spotted on Snapchat:

It doesn’t matter how bizarre your situation is. Somebody on Reddit already been there, done that.

Just shared via X:

Sorry you thought I I was flirting with you; I had something in my eye.

Trending via Telegram:

I often message people with the weird idea that they’ll message me back.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Hit the vape till it tastes like technology.

Just landed via Instagram:

Sorry I’m late, my song came on at the grocery store.

Age is just a number that you keep off of Facebook after 35.

Age is just a number that you keep off of Facebook after 35.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Age is just a number, but on Facebook, it's more like a state secret 🕵️‍♂️🤫. After 35, birthdays become classified information for your profile 😂🔒 #AgelessAndFacelessLikeANinja"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

782 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,944

Funny Quotes Topics

13,916

Funny Quotes Images

10,944

Updated

45 minutes ago

Users Online

3,442

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

Not only do I turn down my radio to find a house or a parking spot, but I also take off my sunglasses to hear someone better.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

A thousand curses upon anyone who has ever gone, “Why are you sitting in the dark?” and then flipped the light on without asking.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has viewed:

My dog and I play this game, it’s called “What Are You Chewing On Now?” It goes both ways.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

If I’ve offended you with my posts, I humbly apologize, I honestly did not think you could read.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

Sending messages is easy. Living with them forever is the hard part.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

When science finally locates the center of the universe, some people will be surprised to learn they’re not it.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

“Well at least I don’t have to wake up any more.” Is what I want my tombstone to say.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

Problematic bed time gap relationship.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has copied:

Dear diary, sorry for only ever talking about myself. How are you? Do you have any hobbies?

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

Can’t sleep because I keep finding exciting opportunities to get pissed off.

Social Media Log 💫

Reported on LinkedIn:

It really annoys me when people use the wrong word and don’t have the humidity to admit it.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

“Some men go months without being hugged.” Okay, then they should just hug each other.

Spotted on Facebook:

I heard you like bad boys. Well, I’m bad. At everything.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

I just want to be rich enough to stop having to pretend that I’m getting work done.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Shoutout to my kids because they aren’t listening!

Going viral on Snapchat:

Once again I feel like I slept in a washing machine.

Making waves on Reddit:

Welcome to your 40s. Your ability to be sneaky will now be hindered by your bones cracking when you walk.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I won’t rest until a cure for insomnia is found.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Cheating on a partner should affect your credit score.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Sex is great, but have you ever started slowly picking up speed after sitting in a traffic jam?

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