Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Age is just a number, but on Facebook, it's more like a state secret 🕵️‍♂️🤫. After 35, birthdays become classified information for your profile 😂🔒 #AgelessAndFacelessLikeANinja"

35, after, age, birthday, Facebook, growing, growing up, humor, just, keep, media, number, perception, social, social media

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Mood to play music louder than my thoughts.

0

2 months ago

distraction, fun, louder, mood, music, play, thoughts
The only thing stopping cheesecake from being a breakfast food is you.

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2 months ago

being, breakfast, cheesecake, dessert, excuse, food, humor, indulgence, morning, only, thing
If you’re a squatter, every day is leg day.

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2 months ago

day, every, exercise, fitness, humor, joke, leg, leg day, squatter, workout
If my house is clean, just know I yelled at everyone for two hours first.

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2 months ago

anger, clean, cleaning, cleaning motivation, everyone, family, frustration, hours, house, humor, i, just, know, motivation, yell
I accidentally bought a pair of nose-cancelling headphones and now my glasses keep falling off.

0

2 months ago

accident, accidentally, daily, daily life, falling, glasses, headphones, humor, i, keep, life, mishap, technology
In an alternate universe, the hard way is always learning me.

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2 months ago

alternate, alternate universe, always, hard, hard way, humor, learning, me, universe

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

99 shares on WeChat this month:

My mother always told me, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, say nothing at all.” Needless to say, I’m not much of a conversationalist.

26 shares on Facebook this month:

You should be able to wash your hair and it stays washed. What do you mean I have to do it again?

68 shares on Facebook this month:

If it doesn’t get a like in the first two years, I delete it.

72 shares on Instagram this month:

Just call me Mother Nature because I can go from hot to cold in a 24-hour period, too.

26 shares on X this month:

Keep moving, lady, I don’t have room for you in my delusions right now.

28 shares on Twitch this month:

I’m trying to quit making sexual innuendos but it’s so hard.

61 shares on Facebook this month:

I don’t want to brag but I walked into a room and remembered why I walked in.

49 shares on Threads this month:

I bet the inventor of the cannon would be relieved to know that they’re mostly about t-shirts now.

48 shares on Slack this month:

The concept of hot water showers feeling so good but not actually being good for your hair or skin is disgusting.

14 shares on Threads this month:

I’m a person who wants to do a lot of things trapped in the body of a person who wants to sleep a lot.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

There should be a zoo that has people from every country in it.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

“Kiss From a Rose” makes you think Batman Forever is the most romantic movie ever made.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

Anxiety should have a loyalty rewards program.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has viewed:

I hope the aliens aren’t good at basketball. My chances of making it into the NBA are already slim.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

People who lie all the time really think that we don’t know.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

I’ve officially reached the age where I don’t want to do anything after 9pm.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

Aliens only abduct the people that are already nuts so no one will believe them when they try and tell everyone.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

Not a gold digger, but the other night a woman told me her grandpa owns a Christmas tree farm. That shit had me rubbing my hands like a fly.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

“Grey” is a better spelling than “gray” because “e” is a greyer letter than “a.” I will not elaborate.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has copied:

My mood is currently on “shuffle”.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Discord:

Flying bugs can basically go anywhere they want, but still choose to fly right into your face.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Starting drama with me the week before my period is an absolutely terrible idea – for you.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Anyone got any good sins for someone just getting into sinning?

Just shared via Discord:

It would be cool if, after you died, you could see the top 5 times you almost died.

Just shared via Instagram:

I bought a robot vacuum today. Named it “Dustbin Bieber”.

Breaking via Slack:

I bet the guy who named the sperm whale wasn’t allowed to name things anymore after that.

Making waves on Twitch:

Italy stands for I Truly Always Love You.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

A girl, her bed, and TV series on a Friday evening is a true love story.

Shared recently on TikTok:

At first I’m shy, then I’m a podcast.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Statistically speaking, on average, a person has two arms, two legs, one testicle, and one ovary.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Age is just a number that you keep off of Facebook after 35.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Mood to play music louder than my thoughts.

The only thing stopping cheesecake from being a breakfast food is you.

If you’re a squatter, every day is leg day.

If my house is clean, just know I yelled at everyone for two hours first.

I accidentally bought a pair of nose-cancelling headphones and now my glasses keep falling off.

In an alternate universe, the hard way is always learning me.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨