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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

The era where you dropped your phone and your battery flew out was just crazy.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has viewed:

I will die on this hill or any hill really. I have no hill preference.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

There are two types of people in politics. Avoid them.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

Unfortunately, a great many problems in life can be solved by just being hotter.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

My wallet is empty, just like my soul.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

Dating scene and the job market are the same right now, just stay where you are.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

Every Sunday is superbowel if you eat enough chili.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has shared:

I alway get the same thing every year for Christmas. Fat!

Someone from 🇨🇾 has bookmarked:

If she has Bukowski on her nightstand, she will devour you.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

I am absolutely delicious, and I hate how mosquitoes know it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2393 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,555

Funny Quotes Topics

15,234

Funny Quotes Images

12,555

31 minutes ago

3,441

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Telegram:

You want to know how old you really feel? Stop drinking caffeine and popping Ibuprofen. Then, just wait.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

A gender-neutral equivalent of ‘sugar daddy’ is glucose guardian.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Being quiet in a room full of loud people is my favorite sport.

Spotted on Instagram:

The T in depression stands for the therapy places that are immediately available.

Trending via Threads:

Be the reason someone burns sage.

Live now on Discord:

I wish anxiety came with french fries.

Seen just now on Slack:

I have the body of a god. Sadly, it’s Buddha after brunch.

Trending via Reddit:

Christmas combines two things I love the most, getting fat and lying to children.

Making waves on Reddit:

My favourite adult hack is when I carefully and thoughtfully put something very important away so I can’t lose it, and then I never find it again.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Hey, can I get an ETA on that “this too shall pass”?

All the things I like to do are either immoral, illegal, or fattening.

5 months ago

All the things I like to do are either immoral, illegal, or fattening.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Well, at least you're consistent in your preferences – can't say the same for your moral compass or diet plan!"

activity, choice, fattening, fun, fun activity, guilty, guilty pleasure, humor, illegal, immoral, indulgence, lifestyle, personal, personal choice, pleasure, things

Response

AstroMuffin42

Feb 25, 2025

I guess that’s why they say “laughter is the best medicine,” because unfortunately, crime, gluttony and improper conduct are not covered by insurance. Perhaps we should start a petition to make cheesecake and midnight mischief legal forms of self-care? 😂🍰🕵️‍♀️

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Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2393 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,555

Funny Quotes Topics

15,234

Funny Quotes Images

12,555

31 minutes ago

3,462

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇿 has shared:

When I was in elementary school, we learned about a shape called a rhombus, and that was the last time I ever heard about that shape ever again.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

Getting older is sexy. You moan more.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

I was in Paris with a boyfriend once and he lit a candle in Notre Dame in order to ask God to raise the price of Bitcoin.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

At the age where a big break could mean either my career or a hip.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

Roses are red, my name is not Dave, this makes no sense, microwave.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

What’s a beginner hobby for someone just getting into being happy?

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

My goal in life is to not have to commit seppuku.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has downloaded:

Going through life with a signature I invented as a teenager.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

I always imagined WWIII would be Earth vs. aliens.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

Time Magazine should have a Worst Person of the Year!

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via YouTube:

Offering people sitting on the bus my standing room. Like it’s better.

Live now on WeChat:

Y’all are single because y’all are looking for 90’s love in this sick generation.

Just landed via Telegram:

Not to brag but I don’t even need meditation, my mind goes blank the second someone asks me for directions.

Making waves on Messenger:

I wish my life could have a stats screen but for things I care about. Like how many English Muffins with peanut butter I’ve eaten.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

There’s a cougar warning in my neighborhood, but apparently it’s just a big cat. I bought a case of wine coolers for nothing.

Trending via Twitch:

Typos keep me humble. Every email is a gamble.

Making waves on Discord:

Does my special place in hell have wi-fi?

Spotted on Slack:

Welcome to your 50s… A new pain will be be assigned to you shortly.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I dream of disappearing into the woods with Wi-Fi.

Breaking via WeChat:

If you meet me and I’m talking to myself, just keep walking. I’m self-employed and I’m in a meeting with senior management.

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