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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ป๐Ÿ‡ช has bookmarked:

Why is sugar SO addictive, and broccoli is just like, โ€œIโ€™ll be here when you need meโ€

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‡จ has shared:

You’re no Sultan of Swing, buddy, you’re hardly a Governor of Groove.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡บ has shared:

Iโ€™m just here trying to spread a little joy while the world burns. Is that so wrong?

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡น has viewed:

Keep your temper. Nobody else wants it.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฐ๐Ÿ‡ท has downloaded:

My cat runs a secret cult. I just pay the rent.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ด๐Ÿ‡ฒ has viewed:

The only reason to engage with a neighbor is if either of you is on fire.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ง has downloaded:

Lord, grant me the serenity to accept the terms and conditions I do not read.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ช has bookmarked:

Age ceases to be just a number everytime the airline announces seating queue priority.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐Ÿ‡ท has bookmarked:

Tried online dating, and it turns out my soulmate is a Nigerian prince who needs my bank details to escape his kingdom.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‡ช has downloaded:

If I like cleaning? Does Sisyphus like his boulder?

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

1787 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,949

Funny Quotes Topics

14,756

Funny Quotes Images

11,949

Updated

4 minutes ago

Users Online

3,437

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

Jesus died for your sins. If you donโ€™t sin then he died for nothing!

Just shared via Twitch:

You donโ€™t know a person until youโ€™ve seen them eat popcorn.

Trending via Discord:

โ€œYou look nervousโ€ Thanks, Iโ€™ve been practicing my whole life.

Spotted on Discord:

Life is full of questions. Idiots are full of answers.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

That depressing moment when you start your car to go to work and it doesnโ€™t explode.

Reported on WhatsApp:

Itโ€™s not my job to police the internet, but I just saw someone post a recipe for cauliflower cookies and reported them for harmful content.

Making waves on Pinterest:

I’m still annoyed that you can catch Covid more than once. I can’t explain why, but it feels kind of rude.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Breaking News: Local woman stuns in new unnecessary online purchase.

Freshly posted on Threads:

The best essential oils are the ones that drip out of Tacos.

Breaking via Messenger:

Don’t tell me that everything was better in the past. I was there.

All this overthinking, and I still make the worst decisions.

All this overthinking, and I still make the worst decisions.
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Commentary:
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Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

1787 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,949

Funny Quotes Topics

14,756

Funny Quotes Images

11,949

Updated

4 minutes ago

Users Online

3,443

Funny Quotes of the Month ๐Ÿš€

Funny Quotes of the Year โญ

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ป has shared:

Do you scroll through Netflix to find a good show for your dog to watch when you leave the house or are you normal?

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ณ has shared:

โ€œAre you dating anyone?โ€ I close my eyes when I walk past mirrors.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ฟ has viewed:

Iโ€™m in a comfy dress today, but I look like a potato in floral. Call me Nelly Flortato.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ฉ has bookmarked:

I’m actually quite nice. If I had friends, they’d all confirm that.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ฒ has shared:

Why is there so much day left at the end of my patience?

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ญ has bookmarked:

Apparently “Spite” is not an appropriate answer to “What motivates you?”

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ฎ has downloaded:

Iโ€™ve said it before and Iโ€™ll say it again: you either have a naked window neighbor or you are the naked window neighbor.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ‡บ has copied:

Money canโ€™t buy happiness, until youโ€™re on vacation and then you realize it definitely can.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ญ๐Ÿ‡บ has viewed:

A person that weights 200 pounds on Earth weighs 76 pounds on Mars. So I’m not overweight, I’m on the wrong planet.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฏ๐Ÿ‡ด has bookmarked:

Exercise gives you energy, but you need energy to exercise. Sounds like a pyramid scheme to me.

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Trending via YouTube:

I support robot taxis. How else are robots supposed to get around?

Shared recently on WeChat:

Scientists say humans are the most evolved, but bears get to get fat all summer and then sleep for four months, so who’s really ahead.

Live now on Threads:

Wisdom of the day: Don’t do anything you don’t want to explain to the paramedic.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Giving all the dogs in my neighborhood matching sweaters for Christmas so they can be in a gang.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Please do not ask a bookworm if they are going to finish the books they have before buying more. It is very offensive in our culture.

Breaking via Threads:

If you bought 1 Bitcoin ten years ago, it would now be worth 1 Bitcoin. Let that sink in.

Breaking via Slack:

The biggest first-world problem is having your favorite makeup product be discontinued.

Making waves on Messenger:

I shall have another coffee, for I am sleeping standing.

Just landed via Messenger:

The concept of warding off vampires with crosses is so interesting to me. I wonder if it applies to any other religion or if they’re allergic to just Catholicism.

Trending via YouTube:

Special Offer: Save 100% when you don’t buy anything.

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