Always remember, if you ever need me, I’m just several phone calls and unread texts away.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

“How am I supposed to avoid Al when I’ve procrastinated on a paper?” With a night full of caffeine and nicotine like your forefathers, you babies.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

Just had a crazy revelation: you can eat in the airport after your flight, too.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

Just did my best horse impression and the doctor still won’t give me ketamine.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

Microsoft Teams needs to add a “spank” reaction for when I want to reprimand my employees during a video call.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

I wanna marry someone funnier than me, but sadly, I am the funniest.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

Some things are better left unsaid, but people get drunk and say them anyway.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

Facial recognition technology, but for me when I’m talking to people I’ve apparently met before.