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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

I would like to see the USA go metric before I die, just so I can enjoy the outrage that would follow.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

It’s with a heavy heart and a deep sadness that I have to announce that I’m at work.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

Have you ever been so hungry but had no food in the house, so you took a nap instead?

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

Today’s book recommendation: “The Art of Silence” by the famous Chinese philosopher Shut-Up.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

FaceTiming me is for platinum members only.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

Me: trying to rest. Earthquake: Let’s make that a no.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

I would like to thank everyone who destroyed me into the person I am today.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,734

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Instagram:

Maybe dogs are smarter than us because they found a way to get fed and housed without having to go to college and get a job.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Any room can be a rage room if you just give me a minute.

Going viral on Reddit:

It’s crazy that you don’t really argue with a baby for the first year of its life and then you have to argue with the baby every day.

Just landed via Reddit:

Anyone know how to get an air guitar out of a vacuum?

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Dating over 40 is like Hide and Seek but no one is looking for you.

Just shared via Twitch:

I’m not worried about WWIII. I’ve been feeding a crow army for three years.

Live now on Instagram:

Apparently, responding to a wedding invitation with “maybe next time” is wrong. I know that now.

An entire generation is currently studying for jobs that will not exist.

1 month ago

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Commentary:
Plot twist: We're all secretly majoring in time travel logistics! 🚀⌛️ #FutureProofed

career, education, exist, future, future job, generation, job, jobs, study, studying, technology, unemployment, workforce

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’ve never been kissed under the cameltoe or whatever it’s called.

1 month ago
awkward, awkward moment, cameltoe, date, humor, kiss, moment, relationship
Every word wishes it could sound as fun as falafel.

2 months ago
every, falafel, food, fun, humor, language, pun, sound, wishes, word
I don’t procrastinate, I delegate to my future self.

1 month ago
delegate, future, humor, i, management, procrastinate, responsibility, self, time, time management
Just because I loved you at one point doesn’t mean I will always love you. I’m not Whitney Houston.

1 month ago
always, breakup, comedy, emotional, houston, humor, i, independence, just, love, loved, mean, point, relationships, sarcasm, whitney, Whitney Houston
In a massage chair at the mall just moaning really loud.

1 month ago
awkward, awkward moment, chair, humor, mall, massage, moaning, moment, relaxation
I just cleaned the house top to bottom, so now I’m gonna need everybody to stop living here.

2 months ago
bottom, chores, cleaning, here, house, humor, i, irony, just, living, need, sarcasm, stop, top

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

This summer went by so fast, I didn’t even get a chance to lose any weight.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

My acting reel includes clips of me “listening” during Zoom meetings.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

You think you’re your own worst critic? Just wait till you have kids.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

I miss when The Weeknd made haunted strip club music. Didn’t know how good I had it.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

I’m running out of people I like.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

50% of parenting is just trying to decide if that noise is worth walking up all of those stairs.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

Halloween is over and most people just keep on being creepy.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

I hope this is the year my teen learns how to turn off a light when she leaves a room.

Going viral on Discord:

I find it extremely hard to believe that you’re rolling on the floor laughing.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Anyone got any good sins for someone just getting into sinning?

Shared recently on WeChat:

The only hot singles in my area are in my wallet.

Just landed via Messenger:

I’ve learned a lot over the years, but the best advice I can ever give someone is never buy a used harmonica.

Freshly posted on Slack:

If you wanna make someone cry, just show them the earliest year they can retire.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Dry January is so funny. People are like, “How can I make the worst month of the year even worse?”

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

An entire generation is currently studying for jobs that will not exist.

I’ve never been kissed under the cameltoe or whatever it’s called.

Every word wishes it could sound as fun as falafel.

I don’t procrastinate, I delegate to my future self.

Just because I loved you at one point doesn’t mean I will always love you. I’m not Whitney Houston.

In a massage chair at the mall just moaning really loud.

I just cleaned the house top to bottom, so now I’m gonna need everybody to stop living here.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Pleasantly surprised to discover the treadmill I bought came with a remote control, so I can run it from my recliner.

I’m already ready to clock out from work tomorrow.

Would it kill the makers of avocados to put a different toy inside?

I wish I could put an AirTag on my sanity.

Any room can be a rage room if you just give me a minute.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Men don’t chew on toothpicks all day anymore.

Plot twist: the universe is waiting for you to give it a sign.

When I was a kid, they played lame music for middle-aged people in the supermarket, but this morning at Whole Foods, it’s now all amazing bangers from my youth.

One day I’ll have a sassy, know-it-all daughter, and my husband will say, “She got that from you,” and I can’t wait.

Any porn site that allows comments is instantly funny because, like, why is that there.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

If bugs could talk, they would probably say things like, “What the bug?”

Starting all my work emails today with, “to whom it’s about to concern”.

A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I’m afraid of widths.

Can’t, I’m pulling it together.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

I think airplanes would be way cooler if the wings flapped like a bird.

The only thing you can count on with some people is that you can’t count on them.

All the things I like to do are either immoral, illegal, or fattening.

I’m so tired of not being a multimillionaire.

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An entire generation is currently studying for jobs that will not exist.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I’ve never been kissed under the cameltoe or whatever it’s called.

Every word wishes it could sound as fun as falafel.

I don’t procrastinate, I delegate to my future self.

Just because I loved you at one point doesn’t mean I will always love you. I’m not Whitney Houston.

In a massage chair at the mall just moaning really loud.

I just cleaned the house top to bottom, so now I’m gonna need everybody to stop living here.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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