Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇷 has copied:

“Thank you for choosing Amtrak.” No problem. There are no other trains.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

I was born a boy, but according to the packaging, I identify as a family of four.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

I haven’t exaggerated in like a million years.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

I’m the product of too much television and zero supervision.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

The concept of warding off vampires with crosses is so interesting to me. I wonder if it applies to any other religion or if they’re allergic to just Catholicism.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

I used to eat my feelings but now it’s so expensive, I might as well go to therapy.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

Monday is already sending me threatening glances from across the room.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

Zelda was easier as a kid because if you hit a hard puzzle, you could just wait a few days for more brain matter to come in, but now it’s the opposite.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

I wish Amazon would stop finding things I might like.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

Body: time to fall asleep. Brain: hey, that’s an interesting thought, here’s six billion more.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

3,854

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Instagram:

When a girl is done with you, she talks to you like she’s in HR or something.

Freshly posted on Threads:

I call my period Shark week. I want to eat everything, I’m snapping at people, I feel huge, people are scared of me, and there is blood everywhere.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Unfortunately, I wasn’t built for casual dating, I’m only built for intense soul crushing love at first sight.

Trending via Telegram:

Do you ever think back about all the crazy stuff you did when you were younger, and wonder how you’re still alive?

Making waves on LinkedIn:

The most surprising part of adulthood is parenting your parents.

Spotted on Twitch:

It’s so hot outside that when I opened my front door I thought I was checking on my oven.

Shared recently on Discord:

My handwriting got like five different fonts, depends on my mood and the pen I’m using.

Trending via Instagram:

Bowling: The most fun you can have wearing someone else’s shoes.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Source? Divine intuition, gut instinct, and cryptic symbolism from my dreams.

Just landed via Reddit:

Senility is the pits. Spent an hour driving around the mall parking lot looking for my car.

An orgasm before bed is nature’s strongest sleep aid.

3 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When counting sheep just doesn't cut it, try counting orgasms instead! 🌜😴🔥

aid, bed, bedtime, before, humor, nature, orgasm, relaxation, sleep, sleep aid

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

A fun wedding bit is to sit next to a random guest, point to the bride or groom & whisper, “it should’ve been you”

0

2 months ago

activity, bride, fun, fun activity, groom, guest, humor, interaction, joke, prank, social, social interaction, wedding, whisper
It’s important to post stupid stuff so you can learn who likes you.

0

5 months ago

communication, friendship, humor, important, learn, learning, likes, media, popularity, post, self-awareness, social, social media, stuff, stupid, stupidity
The weather’s got more mood swings than a reality show reunion.

0

2 months ago

comedy, humor, joke, mood, mood swing, reality, reality show, reunion, show, swing, weather, weather joke
Sometimes I’ll do a random act of kindness, like keeping my mouth shut, for example.

0

4 weeks ago

act, example, humor, keeping, kindness, mouth, random, random act, self-control, shut, silence, sometimes
Twitter is great because you can get good life advice from other emotionally unstable adults.

0

2 months ago

adults, advice, emotionally, emotionally unstable, good, great, health, humor, life, life advice, media, mental, mental health, satire, social, social media, Twitter, unstable
You okay, babe? You’ve hardly touched the promises you made me.

0

2 months ago

babe, conversation, date, expectations, humor, me, okay, promise, relationship

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

89 shares on TikTok this month:

Just because talking is for you doesn’t mean that starting a podcast is.

37 shares on X this month:

Nothing like a meteor shower to remind you that burning out can still be breathtaking.

27 shares on Pinterest this month:

I delete posts cause I be getting mature over the hours.

70 shares on Reddit this month:

I see stand-up comedy as a stepping stone to television. A few more paid gigs and I’ll be able to afford a television.

50 shares on Instagram this month:

Stopped using exclamation points in work messages so my coworkers know they’ve killed my spirit.

34 shares on Reddit this month:

The wind is about to blow me to Oz, so if you see me flying past your window, mind your business.

17 shares on Snapchat this month:

I had no idea being an adult would involve so many lotions.

16 shares on Pinterest this month:

I can always tell what part of my cycle I’m in by how concerned my friends are over my Tweets.

62 shares on YouTube this month:

I don’t like people who take drugs, for example: airport security.

42 shares on Facebook this month:

I like how “energy bars” are really just candy bars, and we all pretend to not notice.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

My ability to remember song lyrics from the ’90s far exceeds my ability to remember why I walked into the garage.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

Chuck Norris can rub two fires together to get a piece of wood.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

Making friends as an adult is wild because there’s so much lore to catch up on. You’ll be 3 years in and still get random drops like, ‘Oh, by the way, I used to be married.’

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

Let the good times roll. Let the bad times crawl. Let the acceptable times do the hopscotch.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

If you did the weekend right, your coffee needs coffee today.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

Asking my boyfriend if he would still date me if an alien had done experiments on me that killed me but, as a gesture of kindness, replaced me with a perfect replica, and he was the only one who knew.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

A chocolate advent calendar is a test of restraint that I simply do not have.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

I don’t get involved in anyone’s business, let alone their drama. You should try it.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

Hey (with the intention of making you forget everyone who came before me).

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

I’m neither a lover nor a fighter. I’m a snacker.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Pinterest:

Me, in heaven: Can you take a photo of me sitting on that cloud?

Breaking via Slack:

Breaking via Reddit:

I’m not good with plants or people, but I am good with books and buffets.

Just landed via Threads:

Twitter is the only place where well-articulated sentences still get misinterpreted. You can say “I like pancakes,” and somebody will say, “So you hate waffles?”

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

I’m in a comfy dress today, but I look like a potato in floral. Call me Nelly Flortato.

Just shared via Messenger:

Having a job ruined my life.

Trending via Telegram:

One day you said w00t for the last time, and didn’t even realize.

Going viral on WeChat:

It’s so cool when people who write for a living admit that they don’t read books or have thoughts.

Spotted on Twitch:

Yeah, Instagram is bad for our mental health, but what about Outlook?

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I wish my doctor would put down a little treat to distract me like my vet does for my dog.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

An orgasm before bed is nature’s strongest sleep aid.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

A fun wedding bit is to sit next to a random guest, point to the bride or groom & whisper, “it should’ve been you”

It’s important to post stupid stuff so you can learn who likes you.

The weather’s got more mood swings than a reality show reunion.

Sometimes I’ll do a random act of kindness, like keeping my mouth shut, for example.

Twitter is great because you can get good life advice from other emotionally unstable adults.

You okay, babe? You’ve hardly touched the promises you made me.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨