Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • I wish I loved anything as much as my two year old loves pulling my pants down.
  • Keep posting, I’m diagnosing you.
  • Birthday sex is having sex to celebrate your parents having sex.
  • Returning to Twitter is like coming back to a dysfunctional family.
  • My favorite 90s skill: Uninstalling my car stereo and hiding it in my glove box in under 15 seconds.
  • Making food: 1 hour. Eating food: 20 seconds. Washing dishes: never ending.