Trendy Funny Quotes

  • Seriously, how sexy was Freud’s mom?
  • It’s obvious now that democracy is a busted flush and that in future politicians should be selected via several rigorous rounds of Taskmaster.
  • If I had just one hour left to live, I’d spend it in Math class… it never ends.
  • Forget carrying me to bed; carry me to the end of the workweek. Then we can talk.
  • In my experience, bowling and pancakes have the same energy. High hopes at the beginning, lowered self-esteem at the end.
  • My superpower is holding onto stuff for years and throwing it away exactly one week before I need it.