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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

Normalize having a threatening aura, but really just being a sweetheart.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

Thanks to social media, you can now meet weirdos from the comfort of your own home.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

People always tell me I’d be “late to my own funeral” like it’s a bad thing. They’d be lucky if I even showed up to that depressing shit.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

The eyes are the windows to the soul. A mustache is the front garden, and the mouth is that big pothole the council should do something about.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

Very difficult being a full grown adult with a terrible fear of being “in trouble”.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

Nobody is more stressed than a person who has a lot of interests or passions and is still confused about their career.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

Non-alcoholic beer is like a vibrator without batteries: it fills you up nicely but without the buzz…

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

It’s interesting growing up and learning that most adults are not smart. I had my suspicions as a kid, but I didn’t think the situation was this dire.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

Having long hair as a guy is so scary because some days I look like the charming lead of a classic film from the 80s, and other days I look like a Discord mod that runs his Magic: The Gathering group like the Navy.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

Currently into monogamous friendships. If you have other friends, please don’t talk to me, it hurts my heart.

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

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15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,709

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Instagram:

Sometimes, when I need a really good night’s sleep, I call my burrito guy to come over and tuck me in.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

I don’t always carry all the groceries on one arm, but when I do, my keys are in the wrong pocket.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I refuse to learn the color coding for heart emojis. Your heart means what I want it to, and vice versa.

Spotted on TikTok:

The fine art of sticking my nose where it doesn’t belong.

Going viral on X:

Twitter is fun because you can post a pic of pizza and people will get mad at you.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

If you drink a lot of water, you won’t have time for other people’s drama because you’ll be too busy looking for a bathroom.

Breaking via Pinterest:

You want me to turn around? The thing that led to a total eclipse of the heart.

Going viral on Slack:

If the USA is so great, why did someone make the USB?

Trending via Threads:

The thing I bought on Etsy in 2017 has shipped.

Spotted on TikTok:

I love diss tracks because it’s basically two dudes going, “grr, we hate each other so much we’re going to take turns writing increasingly personalized poetry!”

As a simulation, this all kinda sucks.

2 weeks ago

Funny Quotes

Humorous quote about feeling disillusioned with a playful, sarcastic tone.

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Commentary:
Guess the programmers forgot to patch the bugs in this version! 🤖🕹️🙃

complaint, digital, digital life, frustration, humor, life, simulation, sucks

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Social Media Stars ⭐

66 shares on Messenger this month:

Unfortunately most of my sex noises come from trying to get out of bed.

64 shares on Telegram this month:

I like work; it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.

23 shares on YouTube this month:

If you’re worried that you added too much cheese to the recipe, I am here to reassure you that you did not.

77 shares on TikTok this month:

The only constant in my life are the accidental screenshots of my lock screen.

41 shares on Slack this month:

Sometimes I wish I understood what some of you said and sometimes I am happy that I don’t.

81 shares on Threads this month:

Can’t wait for when we’re all in our 80’s and still tweeting.

24 shares on Snapchat this month:

“Doing the dishes” is completely pointless and only wastes water. You’re just going to put food on them again in a few hours.

33 shares on X this month:

If you’re lost in the woods, start talking loudly about politics. Someone will come to argue with you.

89 shares on Facebook this month:

Tired of being the responsible adult. When can I become the irresponsible adult?

17 shares on Slack this month:

I miss the days when our biggest argument was whether West Coast or East Coast rap was better.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

I’m lazy and chubby. I love food, naps, and coffee. I don’t like Mondays, people, and exercise. I never thought I would grow up to be Garfield.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

The homie who’s ultimately just a pawn in your grand scheme.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

I’ve shouted so much sporting advice from my sofa already this summer. It’s very tiring but hopefully it’s helping.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

My toxic trait is when I’m bored, I start looking for flights to book.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

I get it, drug commercials. I too like to dance while I describe all my side effects.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

I don’t even know what I’d do if a sailor called me a landlubber. I’d probably lose my cool.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

Out of sheer boredom, I opened the front door and rang the doorbell. I was so happy.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

I don’t care about life on other planets. I don’t even have a life on this one.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

Music just makes living on this earth a little bit more bearable.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

I’m not even sure what I’m doing on this planet.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Pinterest:

Not single, not dating, but a secret third thing (quantum entanglement).

Broadcasted on Threads:

Good morning only to the complexity and uncertainty of everything.

Just landed via TikTok:

Another day of explaining to mom that New York is big and the footage she saw wasn’t shot on my street.

Going bananas on Facebook:

Why did they call it painting your toenails and not graffeeti?

Going bananas on Snapchat:

Birthday sex is having sex to celebrate your parents having sex.

Just shared via Instagram:

Happy Earth Day. You don’t look a day over 4 billion years and get hotter every year.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Checked myself, but unfortunately, after I wrecked myself.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

As a simulation, this all kinda sucks.

I need a browser plugin that disables Amazon when I’m drinking. Hashtag: don’t drink and Prime.

You gotta separate the art from the artist. Like, for example, sometimes the artist is really nice but their art sucks.

Jesus, I need money to organize your birthday.

“Kiss From a Rose” makes you think Batman Forever is the most romantic movie ever made.

Your phone is a casino designed to steal your time.

Sorry for texting you back instantly. My phone was in my hand, and I’m mature and actually like you.

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

As a simulation, this all kinda sucks.

Keep the laugh going 😂

I need a browser plugin that disables Amazon when I’m drinking. Hashtag: don’t drink and Prime.

You gotta separate the art from the artist. Like, for example, sometimes the artist is really nice but their art sucks.

Jesus, I need money to organize your birthday.

“Kiss From a Rose” makes you think Batman Forever is the most romantic movie ever made.

Your phone is a casino designed to steal your time.

Sorry for texting you back instantly. My phone was in my hand, and I’m mature and actually like you.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨