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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇲🇩 has downloaded:

I was meant to be rich, I can tell by the way I spend money.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

The trouble with living alone is that it’s always my turn to do the dishes.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has shared:

Have a good weekend, unless you have other plans.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

When I was a young boy, the doctor told me I had a lazy eye. By the time I was 50, it had spread to the rest of my body.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

Now I understand why old people sit outside just to sit outside.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

When a door closes in life, sometimes it’s better to grab a hammer and nails and make sure the damn thing stays shut.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

I will marry a man who treats me delicately as if I’m a gift straight from heaven.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

God sends you an only child as a friend to test you.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has shared:

Dancing alone in your home is its own kind of therapy.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

When you report something to IT and then hear: “Oh! Interesting. We’ve never seen that before.” Is that good or bad?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,673

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Lost another rap battle by just agreeing with everything the other guy said.

Trending via Telegram:

Rock bottom ain’t even that bad of a place to be if you’re into collecting rocks.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I love when the universe delivers receipts.

Going bananas on WeChat:

Dancing alone in your home is its own kind of therapy.

Making waves on YouTube:

Good morning, dickhead, your little ray of sarcastic sunshine has arrived.

Spotted on YouTube:

I followed my heart, and it led me to the fridge.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Whoever came up with the name “dentures” really missed the opportunity to call them “substitooths”.

Shared recently on Discord:

Welcome to your 40’s. You now have to second guess your age as you can’t believe you’re that old.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Hey Grok, scan through all my mutuals and find me a girlfriend, thanks!

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

“Do you have any hobbies?” Lately, I’ve been really into panicking.

As a simulation, this all kinda sucks.

2 weeks ago

Funny Quotes

Humorous quote about feeling disillusioned with a playful, sarcastic tone.

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Commentary:
Guess the programmers forgot to patch the bugs in this version! 🤖🕹️🙃

complaint, digital, digital life, frustration, humor, life, simulation, sucks

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Social Media Stars ⭐

23 shares on Threads this month:

Have you ever accidentally opened your front-facing camera, and it ruined your day a little?

14 shares on Telegram this month:

If God did not intend for us to eat animals, then why did he make them out of meat?

65 shares on YouTube this month:

That awkward moment your mom is doing the dishes and you slowly put your dish in the sink.

74 shares on Pinterest this month:

I can’t date until the curse is lifted.

47 shares on Facebook this month:

Shaking my head like an Etch a Sketch to get my thoughts right.

12 shares on YouTube this month:

Some people are like sunglasses: your day just becomes so much brighter when you accidentally drop them off the side of the boat.

92 shares on Discord this month:

If someone leaves your life, it’s often because the actor playing them is getting cancelled in the real world.

66 shares on Pinterest this month:

I ordered mushrooms on my pizza. When do they kick in?

41 shares on YouTube this month:

Helvetica is my favorite font that sounds like a heavy metal band.

23 shares on Instagram this month:

Accepting you’re about to throw up, gotta be the worst feeling on God’s green earth.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇼🇸 has viewed:

Of course, a wife can complain to her mother-in-law. She has every right to complain to the manufacturer.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has copied:

I was 21 when I was 15, that’s why everything’s boring now.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

If you sit down to play a game of chess and your opponent punches you in the face, you’re not going to prevail by getting better at chess.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

Nothing like a grandfather clock to remind you every hour that you’re still awake.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

If porn damages your brain, and writing develops your brain, does writing porn even it out?

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

Every app is a dating app if you are creepy enough.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

Why be pretty when you can be pretty weird?

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

You can add “cha cha cha” to any sentence you want without explaining yourself. Nobody really appreciates this.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

There should be bloopers at the end of horror movies, so it relaxes you before bedtime.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

The goose: Canada’s most violent saxophone.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Facebook:

I set up a Nativity scene, but since baby Jesus hasn’t arrived yet, all the Wise Men are just looking down at their phones.

Spotted on Instagram:

Chuck Norris passed his driving test on foot.

Just landed via Slack:

That feeling when it’s Friday, you blink once, and somehow it’s Monday again.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Hate when you’re trying to take a nap and the dentist is all “Please open your mouth.”

Just shared via Discord:

Well, that’s not very in love with me of you.

Shared recently on Twitch:

No matter how weird things seem to get, there’s always an episode of The Twilight Zone that was eerily similar.

Trending via Telegram:

In the baking aisle, booing everyone buying imitation vanilla extract.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Pro tip: When you sign up for anything online, put the website’s name as your middle name. Now, when you receive spam, you will know who sold your data.

Going bananas on Facebook:

Your fingers have fingertips, but your toes don’t have toetips. Yet, you can tiptoe but not tipfinger.

Spotted on Twitch:

90s scientists: we cloned a sheep. we landed a robot on mars. Scientists today: for the last time, the earth is round.

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Activity Log ✨

As a simulation, this all kinda sucks.

At my age, I’m more frightened of a hip break than a heartbreak.

Can we talk about what little red riding hoods actual grandma must have looked like?

I’m a go with the flow kind of gal unless the flow is after 9pm or involves parallel parking.

I secretly want you to say no when I offer you some of my cake.

This meeting could have been an AI summary.

Social Media Stars ⭐

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

As a simulation, this all kinda sucks.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Extrovert self made too many plans and now introvert self is pissed.

At my age, I’m more frightened of a hip break than a heartbreak.

Can we talk about what little red riding hoods actual grandma must have looked like?

I’m a go with the flow kind of gal unless the flow is after 9pm or involves parallel parking.

I secretly want you to say no when I offer you some of my cake.

This meeting could have been an AI summary.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

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