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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇿 has shared:

Messages are way funnier when you know how that person talks.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

Imagine being social on social media.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

I’m not a perfectionist. I’m more of a good-enoughist.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

I forgot my password, failed the captcha and have been accused of being a robot. I don’t even know how to fight these allegations.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

I appreciate the sun for always moving in the sky in a predictable way but I also respect the moon for just kind of doing whatever.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

Come on, brain, release the happy chemicals.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has viewed:

Woke up feeling not too shabby for a 60-year-old. The only problem is I’m still in my 40s.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

Whenever І wake up and see that someone has wrіtten a bunch of funny posts before noon, І assume they are a mornіng drіnker.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

Having a teenager is fun because the voice in my head that questions everything I do now has a friend.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

You can have glossy lips or you can have a cat. You can’t have both.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,590

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on YouTube:

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking recently, and I’ve decided that I really don’t want to do that any more.

Live now on WeChat:

Currently helping my husband look for his $20 I spent yesterday.

Just landed via Slack:

I like the concept of restaurant appetizers: “Bring me something to eat. And bring me something else to eat while I’m waiting.”

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

My wife has the worst taste in men.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

People who work in customer service should be allowed to fight one customer a day. Two on Fridays.

Trending via Telegram:

We’re putting that movie you love back in theaters on one random Wednesday — and we’re not gonna tell you until Tuesday.

Shared recently on Slack:

I’m actually quite nice. If I had friends, they’d all confirm that.

Broadcasted on Discord:

Congratulations to the sweater, another year of being the most disgustingly named piece of clothing.

Just shared via Twitch:

If I was lying down and someone came up and gave me tons of kisses and smooshed my face, I’d love it. I don’t know what my cat’s problem is.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Today, I used a wire I’ve kept in my box of cables since 2011. Please applaud.

As a woman, you need to forgive yourself for men you entertained when you had low self-esteem.

4 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Forgiving my past questionable taste in men is my cardio workout for the soul 😂💃 #WeightLifterOfEmotionalBaggage ❤️‍🩹🙈

entertainment, forgive, humor, low, low self-esteem, man, men, need, self-esteem, woman, yourself

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

What wine pairs well with the kids being stuck inside during a heat wave?

0

2 months ago

activity, being, heat, heat wave, humor, indoor, indoor activity, inside, kid, kids, parenting, stuck, wave, well, wine
Parents be like “why aren’t you eating, don’t you like my food?” and after you eat a ton, they’ll say “you look a little chubby, maybe you should eat less.”

0

2 months ago

chubby, contradictions, dynamics, eat, eating, family, family dynamics, food, guilt, humor, less, little, parents, say
Walking around the art museum and verbally saying, “Banger,” after inspecting a painting.

0

2 months ago

after, around, art, art critique, art museum, banger, casual, casual talk, critique, expression, humor, museum, museum visit, painting, saying, slang, talk, verbal, verbal expression, visit, walking
If you saw me licking the plate after the charcuterie was finished, no you didn’t.

0

2 months ago

after, charcuterie, denial, eating, finished, food, humor, licking, me, party, plate, saw, snack
When I gain weight, I should get to designate where on my body it goes.

0

2 months ago

appearance, body, designating, gain, humor, i, preference, should, weight, where
It’s a good thing that our phones only convey sight and sound. No offense, but from most of you I would never want to receive a smelfie!

0

2 months ago

good, humor, i, joke, media, never, offense, phone, phones, scent, sight, smelfie, social, social media, sound, thing, want

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

70 shares on TikTok this month:

I love icebreakers. They really give me time to anxiously reflect on what the most fun fact about me is, while I don’t listen to anyone else at all.

47 shares on X this month:

Imagine hating on me and I’m just in my room also hating on me.

10 shares on Instagram this month:

You know the nap is good when it left you marks.

41 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I am under no obligation to make sense to you.

57 shares on Pinterest this month:

If the office is always a little cold, you might be working for the lizard people.

25 shares on TikTok this month:

Life is like a box of chocolates. More expensive than I was expecting.

57 shares on YouTube this month:

Making a record-breaking number of bad choices today, I’m really proud of myself.

74 shares on Slack this month:

Pretty sure the guy in front of me at McDonald’s ordered the rest of the food.

73 shares on Slack this month:

The only thing I gained so far this year is weight.

93 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Why do women complain about size but moan when fingered?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

I love that retail therapy works on me. I am so much happier and at peace when I’m buying things for myself.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

At this point, I’m not sure if my house is a mess or my mess is a house.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

I get it, funds… I, too, am insufficient.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

This meeting could have been an unread email.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

It’s so much easier to suggest solutions when you don’t know too much about the problem.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

We put a man on the moon in 1969, and if you elect me to be your president, I promise that we will not stop until every man is on the moon.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

Having a crush is so stupid. Like, why is this dude in my head at 8 am?

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

Who called it a period tracker instead of a madvent calendar?

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

Know what goes good with beer? Another one.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

Does running actually get easier if you do it a lot, or is it that you just get more masochistic?

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via YouTube:

Hansel and Gretel weren’t wrong, every bad decision I’ve ever made started with being hungry.

Shared recently on Discord:

Just once I’d like to wake up, turn on the news, and hear “Monday has been cancelled,” and then go back to sleep.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Books are so cool because there are no bloody ads in them.

Seen just now on Messenger:

If I had money, my life would be pretty much the same, but my dogs would destroy much nicer stuff.

Making waves on Threads:

Fellas, if your lady is mad, ask her if it’s because she’s put on some weight. That’ll calm her down.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Life is so exciting. I was in my bedroom and now I’m in the living room. Who knows where I’ll go next.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

There are more bots on here than in Star Wars.

Going viral on TikTok:

The older I get, the more I love my morning coffee and no one speaking to me.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

The fact that someone looked straight at a purple onion and named it red onion really bothers me.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Getting to the age where I’m like, “Oh, hopefully I’ll be dead by then.”

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

As a woman, you need to forgive yourself for men you entertained when you had low self-esteem.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

What wine pairs well with the kids being stuck inside during a heat wave?

Parents be like “why aren’t you eating, don’t you like my food?” and after you eat a ton, they’ll say “you look a little chubby, maybe you should eat less.”

Walking around the art museum and verbally saying, “Banger,” after inspecting a painting.

If you saw me licking the plate after the charcuterie was finished, no you didn’t.

When I gain weight, I should get to designate where on my body it goes.

It’s a good thing that our phones only convey sight and sound. No offense, but from most of you I would never want to receive a smelfie!

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨