Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Being a parent means making tough decisions like sacrificing your waistline for the greater good of finishing your kid's ice cream 🍦😂 Who knew love tasted so sweet and melty! #ParentingPerks"

cream, eat, finish, food, humor, i, ice, ice cream, kid, kids, parenting, parents, sacrifices, time, today

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62 shares on Facebook this month:

Girl math is ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife.

72 shares on YouTube this month:

I wish there were an option to turn off the Wi-Fi connection for WhatsApp only.

82 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I ate my exam paper. Which means that pretty soon I’ll pass the test.

26 shares on Snapchat this month:

The secret to being a private person is to overshare dumb shit so people think you are an open book but then not tell them any of the important details of your life.

20 shares on Messenger this month:

I feel like we’re on like the 50th or 60th horseman of the apocalypse by now.

81 shares on Discord this month:

What is the name of the course in medical school where you learn not to take your patients seriously?

55 shares on Slack this month:

Congrats on hitting your Q3 numbers. Here’s an even bigger Q4 number that you’ll be fired for missing.

45 shares on Telegram this month:

I don’t understand why “family-run” should be a sign of quality. North Korea, for example, is also family-run and doesn’t convince me at all.

14 shares on Discord this month:

I bet this email finds you silently screaming on the inside.

33 shares on Facebook this month:

I don’t get vegetables on my pizza because I don’t like mixing business with pleasure.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

People who grew up with money will look you in the eyes and ask you something insane like, “Do you ski?”

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

Every morning I announce that Im going for a jog, but then I don’t go. It’s a running gag.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

Employees should have to take their boss’s last name.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

When I’m president, I will add an additional hour between 6 and 7pm.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

Having children is like living in a frat house – nobody sleeps, everything’s broken, and there’s a lot of throwing up.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

No revenge, because to know me only as a memory is to suffer.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

If my house is clean, just know I yelled at everyone for two hours first.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

I would reset the clock on your microwave for you.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

A blind guy felt my face and said, “Wonderful.”

Someone from 🇸🇿 has shared:

I’m a strong, independent woman, but like, against my will.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Instagram:

That’s kind of sexy of you to be a little weird.

Just landed via Discord:

You don’t know a person until you’ve seen them eat popcorn.

Just shared via Snapchat:

My dream DUI is driving a Saab through the Great British Bake Off tent.

Just shared via Slack:

I don’t wanna be dramatic but the work week continuously restarting is literally ruining my life.

Making waves on Twitch:

I could post “hello” and there’d be a 20 day argument in the comments.

Seen just now on Reddit:

I started at the bottom and worked my way down.

Spotted on Snapchat:

I’ve noticed the best way to get somebody’s attention is to not want it anymore.

Trending via Messenger:

Any jar is a swear jar when the lid won’t open.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Please do not ask a bookworm if they are going to finish the books they have before buying more. It is very offensive in our culture.

Making waves on TikTok:

I have this rare skin disease called perfect.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

As parents we have to make sacrifices all the time. Today, I had to eat my kid’s ice cream because she couldn’t finish it.

I hope this email makes you quit your job.

We really grew up in the best era to be a kid, and the worst era to be an adult.

As a childless adult, it is my duty to embrace hobbies and pastimes that my peers cannot, as they have sacrificed their free time to maintain the population. I must vibe and chill, and do fun things, in their honor.

Most of my exercise comes from getting up to let the cat in and out.

Due to inflation and tariffs, my love now costs a thing.

“I’m gonna sneak past you.” No you’re not. You’ve alerted me.

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Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

As parents we have to make sacrifices all the time. Today, I had to eat my kid’s ice cream because she couldn’t finish it.

Keep the laugh going 😂

I hope this email makes you quit your job.

We really grew up in the best era to be a kid, and the worst era to be an adult.

As a childless adult, it is my duty to embrace hobbies and pastimes that my peers cannot, as they have sacrificed their free time to maintain the population. I must vibe and chill, and do fun things, in their honor.

Most of my exercise comes from getting up to let the cat in and out.

Due to inflation and tariffs, my love now costs a thing.

“I’m gonna sneak past you.” No you’re not. You’ve alerted me.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨