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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

We went on a family vacation and it was a terrible experience. It was all whining, complaining, and tantrums. And don’t get me started on what my kids did.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

Therapy isn’t enough, she needs to know people congratulated me when we broke up.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

I am not the person I thought I was when I cut that donut in half.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

Adulthood is just always being tired and wondering how you hurt your back.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

Establish dominance at work by drinking iced tea in a wine glass.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

Honestly, shopping beats therapy, anytime. It costs the same and you get a dress out of it.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

Looks fade but dark, twisted, inappropriate humor is forever.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

They should invent a type of situation that improves.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

It’s important that everyone takes really good pictures of me this summer.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

My kids think I’m going to miss them when they leave for college, but I’ll be busy drinking my coffee while it’s still hot.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

784 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,946

Funny Quotes Topics

13,917

Funny Quotes Images

10,946

55 minutes ago

3,432

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Restaurants: put your phone down, live in the moment. Also, scan our QR code and browse our menu.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Maybe I prefer my ducks scattered about.

Just landed via Twitch:

My kids had to work extra hard this morning but they were able to get the clean house back to it’s normal messy state just in time for the guests to arrive.

Shared recently on Facebook:

90s scientists: we cloned a sheep. we landed a robot on mars. Scientists today: for the last time, the earth is round.

Making waves on Threads:

I never used to worry about death but now I’m terrified it will break my winning Wordle streak.

Live now on X:

Next to nothing is a weird place.

Going viral on Twitch:

They should make statues of regular people, like you’re walking through the park and there’s a statue of your friend Jeff.

Trending via Telegram:

Biggest flex is when your friend’s mom uses you as a good example.

Spotted on Instagram:

When I like a woman, I start to gather gifts for her like a squirrel hoarding nuts.

Making waves on TikTok:

Quitting my job to focus more on my desire not to work anymore.

As per my last curse, I have no interest in this.

6 months ago

As per my last curse, I have no interest in this.

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Commentary:
"Ah, the timeless classic 'As per my last curse,' a phrase that strikes fear into the hearts of email recipients everywhere! 😈💢 It's like 'As per my last email,' but with extra sass and a sprinkle of dark magic! Who knew workplace communication could be so bewitchingly entertaining? 🧙‍♂️✉️ #NotTodaySatan"

curse, humor, i, interest, last, sarcasm

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

784 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,946

Funny Quotes Topics

13,917

Funny Quotes Images

10,946

55 minutes ago

3,421

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

If you have any questions or concerns please don’t. Hesitate to ask.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

My husband saw a rabbit in our yard eating grass and said “That would be like sitting in a field of french fries.”

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

Always remember, if you ever need me, I’m just several phone calls and unread texts away.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

Turning regret into ulcers since the day I was born.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

Good morning to everyone — except me, because I clearly didn’t get enough sleep.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

Sometimes I wonder what happened to the people who asked me for directions.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has copied:

Today, I changed a light bulb and walked into a bar. My life is a joke.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

Meds have done more for me than any man ever could.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

I respect the moon because it controls three of our most precious entities: oceans, wolves & women.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

Schedule your appointment early in the month before your dentist starts fretting about their next boat payment.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Keep your fries close and your onion rings closer.

Spotted on Twitch:

Ludacris once said “If you ain’t got no money take yo’ broke ass home” and I haven’t left the house since.

Making waves on Discord:

A simple “hi” can be the beginning of two years of therapy.

Shared recently on TikTok:

What many call beauty can just be wiped off 90% of the time.

Making waves on TikTok:

My kid asked where babies come from and I said everywhere, man, they’re worldwide.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

The ugliest version of me is the version that comes out when I play board games. I don’t know who she is, but she is a monster. She is not fit for human interaction.

Just landed via Facebook:

When I say I’m tired, the “of people” is silent.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I’m starting to think the real hell is just being stuck in an infinite loop of self-doubt and bad life choices.

Shared recently on Discord:

People who talk about fruit having too much sugar scare me so bad. Please get back, you wicked witch!

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Little kid on the plane to Boston says “do they speak English there?” and his mom says “kinda!”

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