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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

All billionaires must submit a list of five things they did for society in the last week or their wealth shall be confiscated.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

Going to a wedding really reminds me of the important things in life. Like cake.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

There should be a special rating system for movies that tells you how uncomfortable you’ll be if you watch them with your parents.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has downloaded:

I’ve touched enough cacti to know they are sharp, but also not enough to stop touching cacti.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

If they cancel the Simpsons, we will no longer be able to see into the future.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

One of my favorite parts of grocery shopping is when somebody else does it for me.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

I use subtitles so if I learn anything interesting I can say “I was reading about” instead of “I saw on an episode of Love Island”

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

People said follow your dreams, so I went back to bed.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

Americans be like, “MM:DD:YY” is how you say dates verbally, and then have a national holiday called “4th of July.”

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

Good morning only to those who duel at dawn, drink at dusk, and haunt their lovers in between.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1986 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,148

Funny Quotes Topics

14,913

Funny Quotes Images

12,148

58 seconds ago

3,430

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on X:

I’m so single, I have no one to drunk text.

Trending via Messenger:

That awkward moment when you’re about to leave work and your boss says “before you go”.

Spotted on Discord:

Some days you’re the bat, some days you’re the ball.

Just landed via Messenger:

If you think you’re going to be in a dangerous situation, dress accordingly. Don’t wear flip-flops to a bank robbery, for example.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

You want me to go apple picking? The original sin?

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

How I flirt? I look at an attractive person several times and hope that they are bolder than me.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Chocolate doesn’t ask silly questions, chocolate understands.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Be the reason why your local woods are haunted.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

I always like to remember the time before the internet. It was so good not to know how cruel and stupid humanity really is.

Breaking via Discord:

I miss the good ol’ days until I remember things like having to get out of my chair and smack the TV to get a clearer picture.

As you get older, nothing loses its sting more than an authority figure saying they are disappointed in you. Like, I don’t know what to tell you, dude, we can’t both live in the prison of your expectations.

6 months ago

As you get older, nothing loses its sting more than an authority figure saying they are disappointed in you. Like, I don’t know what to tell you, dude, we can’t both live in the prison of your expectations.

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Commentary:
"Ah, the classic 'I'm disappointed in you' line from authority figures – the ultimate weapon of guilt! 🙄 Who knew they were expecting you to be the next superhero all along? 🦸‍♂️ Maybe they should lower their expectations to 'able to adult without setting the kitchen on fire.' 🤷‍♂️ Time to break free from the disappointment prison and live your best chaotic life! 🎉"

age, authority, disappointment, dude, expectations, figure, humor, i, know, life, live, nothing, older, prison, relationships, saying, sting, tell

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1986 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,148

Funny Quotes Topics

14,913

Funny Quotes Images

12,148

58 seconds ago

3,439

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

“Winter is literally the best season.” Okay, husky, go sit outside then.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has shared:

My favorite part about being sick is when you sneeze with a cough drop in your mouth and it launches across the room like a cruise missile.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

I don’t know which is worse, people stealing your jokes or people not stealing your jokes.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

Thought you guys should know this was only Monday. It’s also still Monday.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has copied:

Who called it a Cybertruck and not a Deplorean?

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

Who would have thought that eating a can of beans would backfire like this?

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

A Monday every week is excessive.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

Me: what can possibly go wrong though. Anxiety: I’m glad you asked.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

…and so ends another week of me not becoming unexpectedly rich.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

Everyone thinks they’re brave right up until a goose starts chasing them.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WeChat:

Once you’ve read the dictionary, every other book you read is just a remix.

Going viral on Threads:

I hate when teachers put “?” on my work, like I don’t know either.

Reported on X:

Once my school teacher lectured me for unacceptable behavior. That’s 30 mins of sleep I am never getting back

Broadcasted on X:

Who called it a Cybertruck and not a Deplorean?

Just shared via WeChat:

The USA is having so many disasters and tragedies, you’d almost think it was built on thousands of ancient Indian burial grounds.

Just landed via WeChat:

The best thing about driving in the snow is staying home.

Just shared via YouTube:

When you are a leg-bouncer and someone asks you to stop, it’s like they’re asking you to stop your own heart.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Be the nonsense you wish to see in the world.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Some people get it. Most people don’t.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Diplomacy is the art of sending someone to hell in such a way that they look forward to the journey.

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