Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

I lied, there is no sex. You’re helping me repot plants.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has downloaded:

Too poor for Ozempic but too undisciplined for strict diet and exercise. Is there a secret third option?

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

Not texting back is only ok when I do it.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

I think you are suffering from a lack of vitamin ME.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

I wonder how many people think, “What the hell?” after talking to me.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

Pretty annoying when someone unfollows me before I can conduct their exit interview.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

Water bottle leaking in your bag is a top 10 worst experience.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking recently, and I’ve decided that I really don’t want to do that any more.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

I’ve just told my doctor I have all the Monkey Pox symptoms. He asked me to swing by tomorrow.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

The key to happiness: 1/ order a pizza. 2/ eat that pizza. 3/ repeat!

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Jan 20, 2026

3,740

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on X:

I told my computer I needed a break, now it sends me reminders to stretch while I’m lying on the couch.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

I bet before the band got popular, Barenaked Ladies concerts had a lot of pissed off attendees.

Spotted on Slack:

Caffeine: the adult version of fairy dust.

Spotted on Messenger:

The worst thing you can do when cleaning your house is “sit down for a minute.”

Making waves on TikTok:

“You’re a flirt!” God forbid a girl has good communication skills.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Some of you have overdosed so hard on the propaganda, there’s nothing reality Narcan can do for you.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I can’t explain how it works, but one day, you just wake up and like sauerkraut.

Going viral on Facebook:

Grateful for independence mostly because British food is gross.

Spotted on Discord:

My favorite color is sunshine.

Making waves on Telegram:

If Twitter has taught me anything, a lot of us aren’t ready for a spelling bee.

As you get older, nothing loses its sting more than an authority figure saying they are disappointed in you. Like, I don’t know what to tell you, dude, we can’t both live in the prison of your expectations.

3 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic 'I'm disappointed in you' line from authority figures – the ultimate weapon of guilt! 🙄 Who knew they were expecting you to be the next superhero all along? 🦸‍♂️ Maybe they should lower their expectations to 'able to adult without setting the kitchen on fire.' 🤷‍♂️ Time to break free from the disappointment prison and live your best chaotic life! 🎉"

age, authority, disappointment, dude, expectations, figure, humor, i, know, life, live, nothing, older, prison, relationships, saying, sting, tell

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

99 shares on X this month:

If you think my posts are ridiculous, you should see some of my life choices.

10 shares on Instagram this month:

Missed garbage day today, if you’re looking for a bad boy that doesn’t play by the rules.

64 shares on Snapchat this month:

I will never forget when my dad had a guy from Verizon call me in middle school to tell me that I was using more data than Obama and that I need to stop.

100 shares on Threads this month:

Getting older is so fun. Your life goals slowly transition from things like ‘land a dream job’ to ‘successfully grow a cherry tomato.’

57 shares on Snapchat this month:

For a girl that loves sleep and hates stress, my career choice is questionable.

31 shares on Facebook this month:

Why does it take 5-7 business days to refund my money when it took 5-7 seconds to take it out of my account?

87 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Lost my job to AI (my job was to be loudly and confidently incorrect).

62 shares on Discord this month:

Tailgating me while I’m going 90 in a 45 is crazy. And those red and blue lights on top of your car look stupid, btw, lol.

23 shares on Telegram this month:

They give smokers all those breaks to make up for the time taken off their lifespan.

31 shares on TikTok this month:

Don’t come to my house unannounced. I will stare at you from my window.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

13 folks are currently checking 👀

It really is Monday every 15 minutes.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

We are the last generation of programmers who know the deadly feeling of seeing the exact problem in our code, on Stack Overflow, with 0 answers.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Some people are living bowel movement to bowel movement.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

If I ever go missing, check the snack aisle. I’m probably just deciding.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Always remember you’re unique, just like everyone else.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

My rock bottom keeps refreshing.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

You didn’t lock in hard enough if you’re not feeling asexual.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I have a bit of an inferiority complex. But it’s not a very good one.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Serious replies to silly posts are now illegal. Go talk to your wife.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

“People you may know” and it’s someone I would set on fire.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,689

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

Liking sports is great because you’ll have a bad day, then here your team comes to make it worse.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

I am a firm believer that singing ‘Slide Away’ at the top of your lungs changes you as a person.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has copied:

I ran out of toilet paper so I had to start using old newspapers. The Times are rough.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

I’m in favor of sticking an “out of order” sign on some people’s foreheads. As a warning.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

If we were subway rats, I’d share my pizza crust with you.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

There’s going to be a full moon this Christmas! Because mixing family and alcohol together wasn’t enough…

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

“I didn’t vote for this.” — people who absolutely voted for this but thought this would only hurt people they hate.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

My neighbor said he heard me having sex today but it was just me standing in front of my air conditioner.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

I was dismayed to hear the story of Rumpelstiltskin. I had no idea he was like that outside of work.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

They say money doesn’t solve all problems, but it will surely solve all of mine.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Whenever І wake up and see that someone has wrіtten a bunch of funny posts before noon, І assume they are a mornіng drіnker.

Seen just now on YouTube:

I’m at an age where, when I’m tying my shoes, I think about what else I can do while I’m down here.

Making waves on X:

I hope this email keeps you awake at night.

Live now on WeChat:

The fact Head and Shoulders doesn’t have a body wash called Knees and Toes, is disappointing.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Why fall in love when you can fall asleep?

Shared recently on Instagram:

It’s important to get out of the house every once in a while to get excited about going home.

Live now on Threads:

Nobody could stop me if I wasn’t tired all the time.

Shared recently on Slack:

I’m like 2% cute and 98% ugly.

Spotted on Messenger:

Hi, where do you meet someone without dating apps and if you never leave your apartment? I need tips, please. Urgently!

Going viral on Facebook:

Love is in the air fryer.

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴