Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

Welcome to your 40s—you run out of breath trying to find your running shoes.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has viewed:

Quitting my job to focus on being in love.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

Rescuing a cute dog and teaching it how to drive me home from the pub.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

If A-B-C-D didn’t take their sweet time in the alphabet song, LMNOP wouldn’t have to sprint every time.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

When I’m done eating… I have to show my hands to my cat, like I’m a blackjack dealer.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

We need a streaming service that’s only ads. No shows, just commercials. They pay us $15 a month.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

I don’t push people away, I just do the Macarena.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

Sorry, I just saw your text from last night. Are you guys still at the restaurant?

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

Why can’t my fat leave me like everything else does?

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

The worst thing about having children is the parents of the other children.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

676 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,858

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Snapchat:

Did we do it, did we save the daylight?

Freshly posted on WeChat:

I can’t believe we became the adults in the most unaffordable period in history.

Going bananas on Instagram:

I didn’t expect to have such strong feelings when the subtitles said “smooching” while the actors were kissing.

Spotted on Messenger:

My biggest fear is waking up and being in the Renaissance era or something. Imagine having the knowledge of hot dogs but lacking the tools to make them.

Trending via YouTube:

December, give me a sweet ending for this year please.

Making waves on Telegram:

When my friends and I talk about sex, it’s never sexual. It feels scientific, almost.

Trending via TikTok:

Kendrick inspires me to be a bigger, deeper, more passionate hater.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Standing like a flamingo at my kitchen counter eating watermelon is such a vibe.

Trending via WeChat:

If you ever find yourself as a houseguest for an extended period of time, here is the golden rule for success: invisible by day, charming by night.

Making waves on Snapchat:

The worst part of coming out of a hyperfixation is sobering up and looking at all the merch you bought that you didn’t need.

As you get older, nothing loses its sting more than an authority figure saying they are disappointed in you. Like, I don’t know what to tell you, dude, we can’t both live in the prison of your expectations.

0
As you get older, nothing loses its sting more than an authority figure saying they are disappointed in you. Like, I don’t know what to tell you, dude, we can’t both live in the prison of your expectations.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic 'I'm disappointed in you' line from authority figures – the ultimate weapon of guilt! 🙄 Who knew they were expecting you to be the next superhero all along? 🦸‍♂️ Maybe they should lower their expectations to 'able to adult without setting the kitchen on fire.' 🤷‍♂️ Time to break free from the disappointment prison and live your best chaotic life! 🎉"

, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

37 shares on Telegram this month:

Don’t invite me places. I was cesarean. I didn’t want to come out then and I certainly don’t want to now.

41 shares on WeChat this month:

I’m on that new diet where you eat anything you want and you pray for a miracle.

66 shares on Instagram this month:

First date idea: Couples Colonoscopies.

75 shares on Slack this month:

Cheating on an exam by memorizing all the content beforehand so I can easily answer the questions.

32 shares on Telegram this month:

You can’t confuse me. I already don’t know what’s going on.

23 shares on Reddit this month:

Can anyone recommend some good places for somebody just getting into visiting?

11 shares on Threads this month:

Having a crush is so stupid. Like, why is this dude in my head at 8 am?

100 shares on YouTube this month:

Why did Star Wars Episodes 4, 5 & 6 come out before 1,2 & 3? Because in charge of directing, Yoda was.

84 shares on Instagram this month:

Since I stopped texting first, I haven’t heard from a lot of people in a while.

89 shares on Facebook this month:

Ugh, he wants to go hiking as a first date, just like Hitler.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I have been touched inappropriately by the sun today.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Trying to decide what to burn for dinner, so I can order pizza.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

People who lie all the time really think that we don’t know.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I do believe in aliens, but do they also believe in me?

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t know who needs to hear this right now, but it’s time to fold the laundry that’s been lying around since last Sunday.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Despite removing all the stains, I still lost my job as a church window cleaner.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Feeling weird from my cookie-based diet.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Go ahead. Order anything you want. Money is no object when we dine at IKEA.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

My brain says “Let’s do something exciting today” but my body says “Don’t listen to that fool.”

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I need an app that deletes my number from other people’s phones.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

676 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

4,081

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

Very difficult being a full grown adult with a terrible fear of being “in trouble”.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

I haven’t even gone to bed yet and I already can’t wait to get home from work tomorrow.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

Putting together a piece of furniture today, so my kids are about to learn swear words that haven’t even been invented yet.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

If you wave your keys in front of a giant house, people will think you own it.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

Don’t invite me places. I was cesarean. I didn’t want to come out then and I certainly don’t want to now.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

AI won’t replace me because I’m already useless to society.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

I don’t know about you guys, but when I have to make a decision I analyze the situation, evaluate the risk, take measures to limit the consequences and then I completely screw up.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has shared:

The only function of a middle name is so a child can assess how much danger they’re in.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

If we were subway rats, I’d share my pizza crust with you.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

Don’t give up, we must remain silly.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Telegram:

If I was a little smarter, I’d be aware of how stupid I am.

Seen just now on YouTube:

I’m so sick of TV shows and movies where there are no likable characters. I don’t need to spend an hour with people I hate, I already have my life.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I’m not lazy, I just really enjoy doing nothing.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Therapy is nice but singing as loud as you can in your car is free.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Having a sunburn is so humiliating. Now everyone knows I was unprepared for the realities of the wilderness. It marks me as the weakest link. The hungry animals are closing in.

Just shared via WeChat:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here playing with my arm fat.

Seen just now on Slack:

My addiction to buying things I don’t need started at the school book fair.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

I dream of disappearing into the woods with Wi-Fi.

Seen just now on Facebook:

That uncle who kept his distance from the rest of the family will start making more sense to you as you get older.

Trending via WeChat:

I want whatever the people who run at 6 a.m. have.

© 2025. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴