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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

Sisters are so important. How else would my mom find out all the stuff I didn’t want her to know.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard, and I’m like, cool, can one of you reach the top shelf for me.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has shared:

No one knows what I’m up to, not even me.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has downloaded:

Some people come into your life to remind you why you don’t wanna let anyone into your life.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

I just borrowed some money from a cash app, now I’m about to uninstall it.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

I could easily win an Oscar, I just have other things going on right now.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

Are you the sun? Because you need to stay about 92,960,000 miles away from me.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

I’m sorry for inventing the universe.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

I do not like FaceTime unless we’re best friends or I’m in love with you.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has copied:

The most avoided species of shark is the Loan.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,665

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on YouTube:

Ever ghost an entire event to avoid one ghost from your past?

Seen just now on Facebook:

Women are obsessed with Love Island, but when me and my boys do it in real life, we’re disgusting cheating dogs?

Going viral on Discord:

No, I’m not stressed. I just constantly grind my teeth and clench my jaw for fun.

Shared recently on Messenger:

I’m at the age where any time my mom asks if I remember so-and-so from high school, the news is never good.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I’m always in a rush to go home, and do absolutely nothing.

Trending via Snapchat:

The hottest part of sex is when I take off my glasses and put them in a safe place.

Just shared via Instagram:

Unpopular Opinion: Die Hard is a Harry Potter movie. He sneaks around a tower at night avoiding Alan Rickman.

Spotted on Twitch:

There’s no filter on my pics or my thoughts. I’m just out here raw-dogging it.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Name something cuter than a baby in a bucket hat on the beach.

Going viral on Reddit:

Squirrels get most of their energy from chewing on powerlines, that acorn thing is just for show.

“Autophagy” would be a beautiful name for a girl.

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“Autophagy” would be a beautiful name for a girl.
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Commentary:
Naming your kid 'Autophagy' might sound trendy, but imagine their playdate with 'Photosynthesis' and 'Mitosis'! 🌱🤣

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

16 shares on Slack this month:

Went to the hairdresser today and now I look much younger. I’m thinking about going back tomorrow.

28 shares on WhatsApp this month:

It’s so cool when people who write for a living admit that they don’t read books or have thoughts.

52 shares on Telegram this month:

Some days you’re the bat, some days you’re the ball.

97 shares on Threads this month:

Waiting until 4:59 p.m. on Fridays to send an email, because any response is Monday’s problem.

15 shares on TikTok this month:

If you get drunk and message your ex, don’t worry. When you wake up, send bitcoin ads and pretend you were hacked.

68 shares on Snapchat this month:

So apparently it’s still a DUI even if you’re the birthday boy.

86 shares on Threads this month:

I love making the whole conversation so awkward that the most anyone can say after is “so yeah…”

16 shares on Slack this month:

A man’s home is his castle, but his garage is his sanctuary.

40 shares on Snapchat this month:

I will be posting telepathically on all social media today. So if you think of something funny, that was me.

15 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Airlines when they need to change your flight: here’s a complimentary napkin. Airlines when you need to change your flight: that’ll be $8700.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t even want a new year this year. I’ll take a lightly used 2006, if it’s available.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Love it when my brain is like, “You forgot something,” and then refuses to elaborate.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

One of the kids said, “Camping looks fun,” so tonight we’re watching The Revenant.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Mashed potatoes are just German guacamole.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

This year has gone by so quick. Christmas is basically tomorrow.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Nostalgia isn’t as good as it used to be.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Just told my cat I’d give her 500 bucks to stop meowing.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

When life gives you lemons maybe think to yourself, “that’s really quite remarkable given how far I live from a climate capable of growing citrus.”

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I can’t wait for my mom to come to my new house so she can tell me how I organized the kitchen wrong.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

You better be kissing the screen when I send pics.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,538

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

Facing my uncle’s dreaded lightning bolt attack at the Thanksgiving dinner table.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

“I bought this while depressed” should be an acceptable reason to get a full refund on a return.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has bookmarked:

Weekends are a scam. You spend one day exhausted and the other anxious… like, what was that?

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

Telling men I have a boyfriend doesn’t chase them away anymore, so I’ve started telling them I have a child.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

Why would I take the high road when I could take the psychopath?

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

Things I don’t want in my future house: An angry man.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

“It’s not that deep.” Of course it’s not. With a shallow mind like yours, nothing ever is.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

I’ve convinced myself bumblebees don’t sting because they’re too fluffy and cute.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

Patience is for beginners. I’d rather freak out straight away!

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

They should have a section on the wing of the plane where people can go out for a cigarette.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WeChat:

When a girl says “5 mins,” think about it like five minutes left in the 4th quarter, and both teams have all their timeouts.

Trending via Reddit:

Girls take a picture of their legs in a bubble bath and say “guess where I am”. The library?

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Every time you break spaghetti noodles in half, an Italian has a stroke.

Just shared via Messenger:

Being in love will have you put your pride aside and go to places you never thought you would, like New Jersey.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Always stay crazy. Otherwise you’ll go crazy.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

The way people who are really into each other look moments before kissing is so hot. It’s like seeing a glimpse of cannibalism.

Going bananas on Facebook:

Don’t forget to have an orgasm today. Partner is optional. Pleasure is not.

Breaking via Threads:

Celery is 95% water and 100% not pizza.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Hilarious when peoples outgoing voicemail message says they “can’t make it to the phone right now.” You carry the phone with you. It’s the only constant in your life.

Spotted on YouTube:

The dildo of consequences rarely arrives lubed.

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