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Commentary:
"Before kids: Saturdays were made for sleeping in and brunch 🛌🥞 After kids: Saturdays now start promptly at 7am, whether you like it or not ⏰😅 #ParentingLife"

7am, awareness, humor, i, kids, parenting, Saturday

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

When people talk about enriching their lives, I assume they’ve found a way to add more cheese.

0

2 months ago

assumption, cheese, enriching, food, found, humor, i, life, lifestyle, people, talk
I wanna become so financially stable that God uses my pockets to bless others.

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1 month ago

aspiration, bless, blessing, financial, financial stability, generosity, God, humor, i, money, others, pocket, pockets, stability, stable, wealth
My back and I are definitely not the same age.

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2 months ago

age, back, body, getting, getting older, humor, i, older, perspective, same, self-deprecation
Kids should get the last name of whichever parent has more followers.

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2 months ago

family, followers, humor, joke, kids, last, media, name, parent, parenting, should, social, social media
If I’m gonna jingle your bells, I’m definitely gonna jingle them all the way.

0

2 months ago

activity, bell, flirt, fun, holiday, humor, jingle, playful
Babies will literally step on your face just to grab what they want.

0

5 months ago

baby, determination, face, grab, humor, just, literally, mischief, parenting, step, toddler, want

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

37 shares on Facebook this month:

Saying “You’re tearing this family apart” whenever someone argues with me.

95 shares on Twitch this month:

Of course I talk to myself. Sometimes I need expert advice.

91 shares on Messenger this month:

Hey, I noticed you’re completely uninterested in me and couldn’t care whether I live or die. Would you like to build a life together?

57 shares on YouTube this month:

Subtitles are for when you’re eating chips.

81 shares on Twitch this month:

Kinda miss when crushes were butterflies instead of complex emotional calculations about compatibility and red flags.

72 shares on Reddit this month:

My muffin top has become a full blown birthday cake.

67 shares on Snapchat this month:

From now on, every time I think I’m hating too much, I will think of Kendrick and realize I’m not hating to my full potential.

46 shares on Twitch this month:

Thinking of telling my extra weight that I love it so that it can leave me too.

94 shares on Facebook this month:

I really thought impromptu dance-offs were going to be more common.

39 shares on Telegram this month:

Facebook friends are like pens. You may have 150, but only 5 are writing.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

I’d like to meet the person who decided that if you wanted to get married fast, it had to be done by Elvis.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

Me, telling my kids we’re leaving in 30 minutes: We’re leaving in 5 minutes.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has shared:

Never trust someone who can eat 24/7 but is still skinny.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

Many people love saying, “Get these away from me,” after eating a few chips.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has shared:

I hate the saying: “Get up, the sun is shining!” What am I supposed to do? Photosynthesis?

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

The hard part about dating is finding someone who’s mentally ill enough to understand you, but not mentally ill enough to ruin your life.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

You’re the ‘S’ to my ‘HTTP’; without you, I’m just a bad connection!

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

I have many talents, all equally un-monetizable.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

Be bold, be italic, but never regular.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

I miss when my hardest decision was Nickelodeon or Cartoon Network.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via TikTok:

Never argue with an idiot. They will drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.

Going viral on X:

Unfortunately, I will continue to get sexier and funnier.

Shared recently on Threads:

The cool side of the pillow just stole my boyfriend.

Just landed via Messenger:

I live in constant fear that some douchebag is going to show up to a bonfire with a guitar.

Spotted on Snapchat:

The Gen Z stare. The millennial pause. Instead, let’s talk about the boomer inappropriate personal question.

Shared recently on Facebook:

I wanna stand with you on a mountain and throw you into the sea, or whatever Savage Garden was on about.

Making waves on Twitch:

The worst part about being drunk and seeing double is when you realize it’s just one slice of pizza.

Shared recently on Telegram:

So heartbreaking to do laundry and realize you can’t wash the clothes you’re literally wearing right now… you will never have a completely fresh start.

Going bananas on Messenger:

Yoda, seeing himself in 4K: HDMI

Live now on Pinterest:

My husband accidentally locked himself out of the house, and I didn’t hear him knocking until I finished eating the rest of his cheesecake. So weird.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Before I had kids I was only vaguely aware that Saturday had a 7am.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

When people talk about enriching their lives, I assume they’ve found a way to add more cheese.

I wanna become so financially stable that God uses my pockets to bless others.

My back and I are definitely not the same age.

Kids should get the last name of whichever parent has more followers.

If I’m gonna jingle your bells, I’m definitely gonna jingle them all the way.

Babies will literally step on your face just to grab what they want.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨