Before I had kids I was only vaguely aware that Saturday had a 7am.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

I haven’t tried Yoga, but I bent over to pick up my keys off the floor, so I’m sure I wouldn’t like Yoga.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

Today is the Mondayest Thursday that has ever been mistaken for a Friday in the history of Wednesdays.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

Can someone call my keys? I forgot where I put them.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

Most venomous snakes just make “Tsssss”. But I know some that say “Hi”.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

Don’t blame a clown for acting like a clown. Ask yourself why you keep going to the circus.

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If you ever need me, I’m always just a couple missed calls and text messages away.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

Mr. Mixed Signals decided he likes me today.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

Every house is a dream house when you can’t afford one.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has shared:

The first Humans saw the sun go up and then back down, and so they decided to call it a day.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

When you want to key his car, but he doesn’t have one, so you bend his bus pass.