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Ah, the glamorous life of a consultant – dispensing advice with a sprinkle of uncertainty and a hefty side of billable hours 💼💸 Consulting: where "maybe" meets "cha-ching!" 💡😂

being, business, consultant, fun, humor, invoice, maybe, sarcasm, work

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

We’ve got a shituation here.

2 months ago

comedy, got, here, humor, humor quote, humorous, situation, witty
Telling my boss I can’t come back to work because I’ve discovered the joy of doing nothing.

5 days ago

back, boss, doing, doing nothing, excuse, humor, i, joy, laziness, nothing, procrastination, telling, work
Prime numbers are so cunty. Like okay, diva — only divisible by yourself?

2 months ago

diva, divisibility, divisible, humor, insult, joke, math, math joke, number, number theory, numbers, okay, only, playful, playful insult, prime, prime number, theory, yourself
Lie about the gap in your resume. Tell them you had to help some Hobbits take a ring to Mordor or something.

2 months ago

excuse, fantasy, gap, help, Hobbits, humor, interview, job, job interview, lie, Mordor, resume, ring, something, take, tell
Me, in heaven: Can you take a photo of me sitting on that cloud?

2 months ago

activity, cloud, fun, heaven, me, photo, sitting, take
It’s almost time to switch from my everyday anxiety to my fancy Christmas anxiety.

2 months ago

almost, anxiety, Christmas, everyday, fancy, holiday, humor, seasonal, seasonal anxiety, stress, switch, time

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

77 shares on YouTube this month:

So apparently they don’t count as sit-ups if you’re just trying to get out of bed.

65 shares on LinkedIn this month:

People who live in glass houses should install frosted glass around the toilet part.

46 shares on Instagram this month:

Do not take me to an escape room. I was a c-section. Someone is gonna have to come get me.

21 shares on TikTok this month:

Dating apps never work for me because I need at least two years of friendship charged with weird sexual tension to even consider falling in love.

79 shares on Snapchat this month:

The hard part about dating is finding someone who’s mentally ill enough to understand you, but not mentally ill enough to ruin your life.

39 shares on Messenger this month:

How am I supposed to relax when there are things?

46 shares on Reddit this month:

Googling symptoms until you cry.

11 shares on Instagram this month:

Saw the eye doctor, and that’s 90% of the vision test right there.

18 shares on WhatsApp this month:

We can’t all be underemployed creatives. Someone in the group chat needs to know what an insurance is.

71 shares on Pinterest this month:

“How is the job search going?” First of all, that is a violent question. And it hurts me, by the way. And second, how the hell should I know.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

People always ask me “Do you believe in God?” and I say of course it’s important to have self-belief.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

“I’m getting tired of everything being 100 dollars and 100 degrees.”

Someone from 🇧🇮 has shared:

I love the smell of freshly brewed delusions in the morning.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

Loving her was my second biggest mistake. Not buying Bitcoins in 2010 still remains the first.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

I heard you like bad girls. Well, I’m bad. At everything.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

I think I’m about six months away from the perfect ‘before’ picture.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

I’ve never used a semicolon with 100% confidence.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

People complain about jury duty as if listening to true crime all day and being sequestered at night isn’t secretly every mother’s fantasy.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

Normalize arguing with plants who refuse to stay alive.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has shared:

Unlike men, women would immediately admit their mistakes if they had any.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Instagram:

I just want someone to miss me the way my 3 year old nephew misses me when I go to the washroom.

Trending via Facebook:

You can’t spell crypto without “cry”.

Seen just now on X:

It’s amazing, when it’s your birthday you really feel the love from family, friends, lovers, former dentists, yoga studios and various smootheries.

Going bananas on WeChat:

Nose so runny it just signed me up for a 10k.

Breaking via YouTube:

The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office.

Breaking via Telegram:

Definitely thought I’d be solving mysteries and unmasking ghosts in a van with a dog by this point in my life.

Going viral on Telegram:

They should invent a Sunday that’s longer than a couple of minutes.

Spotted on Twitch:

Sawing a hole in a table from underneath to steal a cake is a lot harder than cartoons would have you believe.

Making waves on Discord:

If barking at nothing was an Olympic sport, my dog would win gold.

Going bananas on WeChat:

College is literally just you, your laptop, and your water bottle against the world.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Being a consultant would be fun. Like “hmmm… maybe! Here’s your invoice.”

Related Funny Posts 🤝

We’ve got a shituation here.

Telling my boss I can’t come back to work because I’ve discovered the joy of doing nothing.

Prime numbers are so cunty. Like okay, diva — only divisible by yourself?

Lie about the gap in your resume. Tell them you had to help some Hobbits take a ring to Mordor or something.

Me, in heaven: Can you take a photo of me sitting on that cloud?

It’s almost time to switch from my everyday anxiety to my fancy Christmas anxiety.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨