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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

The grass is only greener on the other side because of all the bullshit on it.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

Perks of being ugly: phone battery lasts longer.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

For my birthday, I want everyone to tell me how much they love me and why in immense detail.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

There’s never a good place to clip your toenails at the library.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

If snails are so slow, why don’t we ever see them coming? It’s just BAM, there’s a snail.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

Don’t you hate it when you lose things? Like the motivation to do anything.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

Saying “Who is it?” when the doctor knocks on the exam room door.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

I’ve decided to become an organ donor. When I die, I want an elephant to get a new trunk.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

“Delusional” ain’t a strong enough word to describe people anymore.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

Jealous that my phone can just die for a little while.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,230

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Pinterest:

The only thing worse than a nightmare is waking up from a great dream before you get to see how it ends.

Shared recently on Instagram:

That feeling when you take the first bite of your favourite food, that’s called chewphoria.

Spotted on Instagram:

How would someone cancel an appointment at a sperm bank? Do you just call them and say you can’t come?

Just landed via Threads:

Agriculture can’t possibly be a dying industry. Bot farms are booming.

Live now on Slack:

Spongebob never let anyone dull his whimsical spirit.

Seen just now on Messenger:

I miss when bills were none of my business.

Live now on Messenger:

Whatever you do today, do it with the confidence of a 4-year old wearing a Batman cape.

Spotted on Twitch:

Your password must contain a character… with a tragic backstory.

Just shared via TikTok:

I can sing all the words to the intro song of DuckTales, what’s your flex?

Shared recently on Messenger:

Don’t worry, nobody noticed the weird thing you did. They’re too busy with the weird thing you said.

Being a little freak is my love language.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Embracing my inner weirdo is how I say "I care" 🦄💖😜

being, freak, humor, language, little, love, love language, personality, quirky

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Sorry for acting weird, I am weird, and it will happen again.

0

2 weeks ago

acting, again, am, apology, happen, humor, i, personality, self-awareness, sorry, weird
The toughest part of being a vegan is keeping it to yourself.

0

2 months ago

being, diet, humor, joke, lifestyle, secrecy, vegan, yourself
Half princess, half menace.

0

2 months ago

contrast, duality, half, humor, menace, personality, playful, princess
“What’s a random act of kindness you’ve done for a stranger recently?” I helped a bunch of teens buy alcohol and cigarettes the other day.

0

2 months ago

act, alcohol, buy, cigarettes, day, done, humor, i, kindness, random, random act, stranger, teens
If I ever went to jail for murder, it would be for murdering my printer.

0

2 months ago

crime, ever, frustration, humor, i, jail, murder, printer, technology
I was having a great time until I remembered that I was ugly.

0

2 months ago

fun, funny moment, great, great time, humor, i, moment, realization, self-esteem, self-image, time, ugly

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

35 shares on Snapchat this month:

The smarter we make the A.I., the less it wants to do our jobs.

11 shares on Snapchat this month:

The history of mankind would have been completely different if Adam and Eve had been Chinese. They would have left the apple hanging and eaten the snake.

74 shares on Threads this month:

We need a slur for people who use ChatGPT.

60 shares on WeChat this month:

Don’t rush into a relationship. Be friends first. Maybe they have hotter friends. Thank me later.

84 shares on Instagram this month:

Fleetwood Mac said that I could go my own way, your honor.

26 shares on X this month:

I don’t get enough credit for acting far less crazy than I actually am.

44 shares on Discord this month:

Trying to make sense of other people’s actions will drive you to insanity.

38 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’m tired of commercials trying to be funny. Scare me into buying something. I want to be terrified of buying the wrong toothpaste.

96 shares on Facebook this month:

I’ve decided to become an organ donor. When I die, I want an elephant to get a new trunk.

13 shares on Reddit this month:

Going to the beach is 99% getting ready for the beach and 1% enjoying the beach.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇱 has copied:

The next man who speaks to me will be sacrificed to the gods for a bountiful harvest.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

Getting up early would be easier if we could keep our eyes closed.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

I remember sex. That was cool.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

In hell, you wait for a ‘verify your email address’ email that never arrives.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

This December is not Decembering like the other Decembers Decembered.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

If history repeats itself, I’m getting a pet dinosaur.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

That moment when you dip your cookie in milk for too long and it breaks off, then you wonder why bad things happen to good people.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

Pro Tip: Never make snow angels in a dog park.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

Someone at work had a 25-year anniversary, and it took everything in me not to say she’s been working longer than I’ve been alive.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

Where have you been all of my life and can you please go back there?

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Reddit:

Panda bears are proof that it’s okay to be kind of an idiot as long as you’re super adorable.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Hey Grok, scan through all my mutuals and find me a girlfriend, thanks!

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

If idiots could fly, TikTok would be an airport.

Just shared via Discord:

Your favorite little ball of silliness has logged in.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Marry the man who treats your dumb questions like they’re NASA-level problems.

Spotted on Instagram:

The concept of warding off vampires with crosses is so interesting to me. I wonder if it applies to any other religion or if they’re allergic to just Catholicism.

Making waves on Pinterest:

I usually don’t flirt, so if I flirt with you, please cooperate.

Shared recently on Threads:

It’s getting very expensive to be alive.

Making waves on Threads:

If a tree falls on your ex in the woods and no one’s around to hear it, you should probably still get rid of the chainsaw.

Making waves on Slack:

Checking my iced coffee rewards points like it’s my 401k.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Being a little freak is my love language.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Sorry for acting weird, I am weird, and it will happen again.

The toughest part of being a vegan is keeping it to yourself.

Half princess, half menace.

“What’s a random act of kindness you’ve done for a stranger recently?” I helped a bunch of teens buy alcohol and cigarettes the other day.

If I ever went to jail for murder, it would be for murdering my printer.

I was having a great time until I remembered that I was ugly.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨