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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

Wishing all the contacts in my phone “Merry Christmas, I hope you get what you deserve” and just letting that work itself out.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

A dating app for people who are way too into cookies, called Crumble.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

Sorry I’m late, traffic is exactly how it’s been every day for the past couple years, and I was not expecting that.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

The sole purpose of some household items is to make it impossible for you to open the damn drawer.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

“Love is in the air.” Wrong. Microplastics.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

What do you mean it’s Monday? We just had Monday. This can’t be right.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

Just had my biannual teeth cleaning like some barn animal.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

Too poor for Ozempic but too undisciplined for strict diet and exercise. Is there a secret third option?

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

Parent hack: Shut your child’s bedroom door to make your house cleaner.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

When someone loses something, I like to ask helpful questions like ‘Where did you last see it?’ and ‘Where did you put it?’ and ‘Where is it?’

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,381

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Snapchat:

Next time someone says “I’m a hugger” and tries to hug me, I’m gonna say “I’m a puncher” and see how it goes.

Going viral on Slack:

I would like you to meet my significant other. Her name is Cheese.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Relationship status: I love my bed.

Spotted on WeChat:

Single, not sure how to mingle.

Seen just now on YouTube:

My hair will never allow me to commit any crime; I leave my DNA everywhere.

Going viral on Pinterest:

I used to think I was indecisive, but I’m not too sure any more.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Before Google, if you didn’t know something you had to go ask someone and most of the time they couldn’t help you, and now that’s also how Google works.

Going bananas on Facebook:

I get it dogs, I wish I could also bark at strangers approaching my house.

Going viral on Discord:

I don’t want to brag but I found a recipe online, and then within three weeks not only made the recipe, but closed the tab on my browser.

Going viral on Threads:

I don’t know what millennial needs to hear this, but throw away the box your phone came in. You don’t need it. You will never need it.

Being an adult means your pain never goes away, it just migrates to a new location in your body.

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Being an adult means your pain never goes away, it just migrates to a new location in your body.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the fun game of 'Where's Waldo' but with our aches and pains instead! 🧐🕵️‍♂️ Who knew adulthood came with its own version of hide-and-seek? 🙈💼 Just when you think you've found relief, *poof* it's off to a new spot! 🎯🤣 #AdultingAdventures"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

41 shares on Reddit this month:

The first bowl of cereal makes you want a second, but the second makes you wish you stopped at the first.

21 shares on Facebook this month:

Pizza rolls are comfort food because they look like little pillows.

16 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Always tell people different stories about yourself, so when they talk about you, they’ll argue.

74 shares on Twitch this month:

It should be illegal to take a nap and still have a headache when you wake up. Like, no, I shut it off and back on again. Why are you still here?

23 shares on YouTube this month:

Quitting my job to focus on being in love.

33 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Being in a rich person’s house is so stressful. Like, why am I struggling to find the trash?

63 shares on Threads this month:

I’m sorry you had a bad experience at our restaurant. To make it up to you, here is a coupon for more of our terrible, terrible food.

12 shares on Discord this month:

I have so much to offer. It’s all bad, but still.

31 shares on Telegram this month:

That moment when you’ve gone through Insta, Facebook, X and the new emails and you know you should start working now. Luckily, there’s YouTube.

32 shares on WhatsApp this month:

So far, every Miss Universe winner has been from Earth.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I love replying “Need him” when someone posts their boyfriend on their Instagram story.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t really care how you met your partner. Tell me about how you met your nemesis.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I like my men like I like my coffee, secretly alcoholic.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

The local casino is hosting a speed dating event. Just what every woman needs, a new boyfriend with a gambling problem.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

If you want your kid to play with their toy just give it to your other kid. Follow me for more parenting hacks.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I love saying “You’re welcome!” really loudly when someone hasn’t thanked me.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Perks of being ugly: phone battery lasts longer.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes I want to sleep, but my brain decides to do a little tap dance through every mistake I’ve ever made, instead.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

The feelings I have for Tom Cruise are the closest approximation I have to what patriotism must feel like.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Yes, liquor store clerk, I do need help. But I decided to come here instead.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,526

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

All I’m saying is that I’m closer to being a millionaire than Jeff Bezos is.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

Automated phone system: To speak to a representative, please enter the first twelve digits of pi.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has viewed:

Just had a salad but it didn’t make me laugh like women in stock photos.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

People would be more motivated to lose weight if the weight they lost went on to someone they didn’t like.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

I always say “morning” instead of “good morning”, because if it was a good morning, I’d still be asleep.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has viewed:

Most people don’t listen at all, they just wait until they can continue talking.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has viewed:

I’m writing a fairytale about a printer that just works.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

Rise and grind your teeth gently while ruminating over every past mistake.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of imagination.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

Your honor, my client would like to play on his phone for a little bit

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Facebook:

When people don’t drink coffee, it’s like, okay, but how do you solve the problem of being awake?

Going bananas on Messenger:

I don’t always cook dinner but when I do, I use every pan in the kitchen.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

Release that sexual frustration, get a burger.

Trending via Messenger:

Men used to go to war, now they want to be the little spoon.

Just shared via Telegram:

I’m so embarrassed by the paragraphs I used to send expressing my feelings.

Making waves on Messenger:

I think I may need professional help. A chef, a butler and a maid should do it!

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Apartments show you 44 pics of the lobby. Man, I ain’t living in there.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

I’m only drinking a lot of beer tonight because I need the room in the fridge.

Just shared via Slack:

Sometimes I clean my room so dramatically, it feels like I’m erasing evidence.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

My ideal workday would be from 9:00 AM to 9:07 AM

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