Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

I’d never pick the lesser of two evils because that means they’re not even good at being evil either.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

Every guy wants to be called Daddy till that test comes back positive.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

Vote for me and I’ll remove all the calories from cheese.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

Sorry, I’m late. My alarm didn’t go off because I didn’t set it, because I don’t want to be here.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has viewed:

The problem is that younger me didn’t account for the fact that there’d be an older me.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

For Halloween, you should be mine.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

Way too many low IQ conspiracy theories floating around. Give me high IQ conspiracy theories.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

I’m in a comfy dress today, but I look like a potato in floral. Call me Nelly Flortato.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

Not to brag, but I can put my socks on without sitting down.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

My superpower is wasting time I don’t even have.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,509

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,509

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,313

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Feeling like a bug without his rug.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

If you sweat while you eat, it should count as a workout.

Just shared via Slack:

My bed has a stronger influence on me than my ambitions.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

You gotta ask people nowadays, are you single single, mad at your partner single, blocked single or single just in your head.

Going viral on Messenger:

Don’t worry. There is still hope for the summer: the rain should get warmer soon.

Going viral on Threads:

It should be socially acceptable to just face the wall at a party when you need a break from talking.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

It’s finally actually Saturday after just thinking it was Saturday every day for the last five days.

Just shared via Telegram:

Who called it a Cybertruck and not a Deplorean?

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I don’t do anything with my life except romanticize and decay with indecision.

Going bananas on X:

I only buy cookware with the handles that somehow get hotter than the pot itself.

Biggest flex is when your friend’s mom uses you as a good example.

0
Biggest flex is when your friend’s mom uses you as a good example.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Feeling like the true MVP when your friend's mom holds you up as the shining beacon of responsibility and success 💪🏼🌟 Just call me the model citizen, setting the bar high for all the other mere mortals out there! 😂 #FlexedToTheMax"

, , , , , , , , , , ,

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

65 shares on Twitch this month:

Being a writer means canceling your plans so you have time to write, and then spending hours avoiding writing.

94 shares on Messenger this month:

I once had a psychic girlfriend, she left me before we met.

59 shares on Twitch this month:

The first time you forgive out of love. The second time out of hope and the third time out of stupidity.

85 shares on Pinterest this month:

They should invent a type of situation that improves.

47 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’m not lazy. I just give my couch the love it deserves.

68 shares on Reddit this month:

How my weekend was? Light, dark, light, dark, Monday.

13 shares on Facebook this month:

I was disappointed to learn today that my request for a sabbatical was rejected. Apparently that’s “not how marriage works.”

78 shares on Reddit this month:

Sorry for having no idea what the hell I am doing. It will happen again.

99 shares on Messenger this month:

Just because you are unique, doesn’t mean you are useful.

74 shares on Facebook this month:

I’m not “late”, I’m just very creative with my interpretation of “time”.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Called in, “I put the lime in the coconut and drank it all up.”

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I give such good nudes that nobody ever needs to ask me for a second one.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s weird how the UFO’s always seem to crash in places that only the government and military have access to.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Not much is worse than that feeling of going back to work after a lunch, or a vacation, or just going to work in general.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Please don’t tell me how bad your life was growing up, we had to manually roll up our car windows.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes I read a text and think, “What a psycho.” And then I press send.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Adults are always asking children what they want to be when they grow up because they’re looking for ideas.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

My kids will never appreciate the amount of extroverting the introvert me does for them.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

How old were you when you realized others couldn’t see the matrix?

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Worrying is just worshipping the problem.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,509

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,509

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,248

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

Caught the bouquet at the funeral.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has copied:

He probably follows so many women because he believes in elevating their voices.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has viewed:

Why do men always think “looking for fun” means sex? Wat if I want us to draw?

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

When you wish you could tell someone that won’t stop talking “Okay, we’re out of time today”, just like a therapist.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

I am so tired ever my tiredness is tired.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

My youngest started kindergarten today and I cried, but mostly for his teachers.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

Your password must contain a character… with a tragic backstory.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

If you need me, I will be at the library sniffing old books.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

I just ate, and now I’m going swimming, so I guess this is goodbye.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

I don’t want to party like it’s 1999, I want to go grocery shopping like it is.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WeChat:

How would someone cancel an appointment at a sperm bank? Do you just call them and say you can’t come?

Shared recently on WeChat:

Are you coming to the party? There will be noise and lights but I found a corner for us to hide.

Making waves on Telegram:

Interviewer: Can I get you anything? Me: Yeah, a job!

Live now on Instagram:

A police lineup, but you have to recognize your dad’s sneeze.

Making waves on Pinterest:

God creating the duck: waterproof that chicken and give it a kazoo.

Just shared via Threads:

Peloton guy yelling “two more, one more” but it’s me eating Cheetos.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Some hoodies don’t hoodie the way other hoodies hoodie.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

A song that hits so hard it makes you want a cigarette.

Going viral on Discord:

So many people these days are too judgmental. I can tell just by looking at them.

Just landed via Twitch:

Got a job rejection, saw the company post the same job again, so I applied again. I decide when we’re done.

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴