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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

You can’t keep running away from your problems, you’re getting older and your kids are getting faster.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has viewed:

If I’m not back in five minutes, just wait longer.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

Whoever’s praying on my downfall, I appreciate you thinking of me.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

When you wish you could tell someone that won’t stop talking “Okay, we’re out of time today”, just like a therapist.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

I wonder how many people think, “What the hell?” after talking to me.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

Female breasts are nature’s anti-stress balls. The irony is that they are connected to the biggest stress-inducing device.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

I’ve cooked for men I should have poisoned, so yeah, I do have self-control.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

If you would like to get an idea of what an exorcism is like, try putting clothes on a toddler.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

It’s beginning to cost a lot like Christmas.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

Never meeting another person again, so if I know you already, congrats!

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2249 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,411

Funny Quotes Topics

15,118

Funny Quotes Images

12,411

42 minutes ago

3,456

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WeChat:

“You’re so understanding,” yeah, because I don’t want to go to prison for the rest of my life.

Live now on X:

If you’re riding a bike in New York City, it means you care about your health. Riding one in Tennessee means you got a DUI.

Freshly posted on X:

Accordion to a recent survey, inserting musical instruments into sentences largely goes unnoticed.

Going viral on Telegram:

The billionaires have decided that the people with nothing have too much.

Making waves on WeChat:

Set my sex robot to boyfriend mode and now it’s liking other girls’ pictures on Insta.

Going viral on Facebook:

Is ‘ugh’ an emotion? Because I fell it all the time.

Freshly posted on X:

To the people who have only fans, what’s stopping you from upgrading to an air conditioner?

Trending via TikTok:

Did you know that if a unicorn and I were to race, the unicorn would likely win cause unicorns are about as real as my desire to race anything?

Shared recently on Messenger:

I love surprising my girl, today she woke up single.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Why are conclusions necessary in essays? Were you not following?

Brussels sprouts were invented by big cabbage to sell little cabbages.

6 months ago

Brussels sprouts were invented by big cabbage to sell little cabbages.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, the clever marketing tactics of the cabbage conglomerate! 🥬🤣 Who knew Brussels sprouts were just little cabbages in disguise, trying to make a name for themselves in the vegetable world? Watch out for those sneaky marketing schemes next time you're strolling through the produce aisle! 😉🌱

big, brussels, Brussels sprout, cabbage, comedy, food, humor, invention, joke, little, satire, sell, sprout, vegetable

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2249 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,411

Funny Quotes Topics

15,118

Funny Quotes Images

12,411

42 minutes ago

3,455

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇾 has downloaded:

“Santa isn’t real!” Okay, I literally just saw him at the mall.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

Naked and Afraid because there’s a spider in the shower with me.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

I can’t finish cleaning up my room because I get distracted by all of the cool stuff I find.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

Relationship Status: just tried to pet my dog and he turned his head so I pretended I was reaching for a leaf that was next to him.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

For someone who is afraid of failure, I’m very unmotivated.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

Every girl is defined by their one lost love. And by that I mean the one fast food item that was discontinued without warning, subsequently ruining their life.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

You only realize how heavy your handbag really is when your car tells you that your passenger is not wearing a seatbelt.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

I wonder if my date ever found her way out of that corn maze.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

You’re in her DMs, she’s in my bed whining that it’s too cold. Can you come get her?

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

I’ve surpassed the need for coffee, for I have evolved into a higher state of awesome.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Slack:

In case anyone hasn’t told you today, I’m beautiful.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Everyone’s a gangster until their doorbell rings.

Just shared via Telegram:

If your cat has ever accidentally fallen into the tub while you were taking bath, you’ve known chaos.

Trending via Facebook:

It’s okay to run away from the cops if you’re shy.

Just landed via Reddit:

When you meet twins, demand to speak with the one in charge.

Reported on Instagram:

The Princess and the Pea, except it’s a rogue hair on the inside of my shirt driving me crazy all day.

Making waves on Reddit:

Not arguing with a man that can cook. Whatever you say, handsome.

Spotted on Pinterest:

I changed my Facebook name to “Benefits.” Now, when people add me, it says, “You are now friends with benefits.”

Trending via TikTok:

Do you mind if I become the object of your desire? No worries if not.

Trending via Facebook:

My daily routine. Morning: Feeling tired, cranky and lazy. Afternoon: I could go for a nap. Night: I can’t sleep.

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