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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

Men, why do you still have the boxes your electronics came in?

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

“You’re acting weird!” I’m not acting.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

Living in your parent’s house is free because you pay with your soul.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

Once you’ve been single for a long time, you realize how exhausting relationships can be.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

Watched a movie on Netflix last night that was so bad, I walked out of my own house.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

If you’re not dropping it like it’s hot, then what the hell are you doing?

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

This is no glow. This is the rage that boils inside me.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

I don’t mean to say that I drink a lot of coffee, but Colombian farmers have a photo of me in their wallets.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

I told all my neighbors that I have a twin, so that when I see them in public I don’t have to talk to them.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

I would like to be reincarnated as less tired.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,706

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on X:

5pm on a Friday: call me a McDonald’s ice-cream machine because I’m not working.

Just shared via Facebook:

I take issue with furniture that deliberately moves 1 inch when you’re in a rush to get by.

Trending via YouTube:

It’s normal that my retirement plan is 100% contingent on me finding buried treasure at some point, right?

Seen just now on Threads:

Telling my parents they’re like family to me.

Trending via WeChat:

No, I’m not stressed. I just constantly grind my teeth and clench my jaw for fun.

Just shared via YouTube:

I love being single because how could I explain a 2 p.m. – 5 p.m. nap on a Saturday.

Going viral on Telegram:

I love how my brain is like, “We’re not going to think about that,” and then thinks about only that.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I would like you to meet my significant other. Her name is Cheese.

Spotted on Reddit:

When science finally locates the center of the universe, some people will be surprised to learn they’re not it.

Shared recently on Messenger:

I tried to scream into the abyss today but got a busy signal.

Can you lose weight by running away from your feelings?

2 weeks ago

Humorous quote questioning if escaping feelings helps with weight loss.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Can you lose weight by running away from your feelings? 🏃‍♂️🤔 Well, you might shed a few tears instead of pounds! Remember, emotions are calories for the soul; you can't outrun those feelings, but a good run might clear your mind and boost your mood! 🏃‍♀️💪"

anxiety, coping, exercise, feelings, fitness, humor, lose, motivation, running, self-help, weight

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

90 shares on Telegram this month:

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me three times, I’m never sending you nudes again.

64 shares on Pinterest this month:

Using Twitter as a semi-vague posting journal for memory purposes.

16 shares on Messenger this month:

Alexa, tell Roomba to get the spider.

38 shares on Snapchat this month:

I just found out it takes 5 sheep to make one wool sweater. I didn’t even know they knew how to knit.

11 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Me liking your post is the equivalent of an angel kissing your forehead.

14 shares on YouTube this month:

Software engineers are the dumbest smart people I’ve ever met.

51 shares on TikTok this month:

I’ve got a couple of eyebrow hairs that want me to be a villain.

10 shares on Slack this month:

Every day is leg day when you’re running from your problems.

67 shares on Reddit this month:

Ever notice how many towns are named after their water tower?

13 shares on Messenger this month:

My boyfriend invited the neighbors over for dinner, “sometime,” so now we have to move.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Dear resealable chocolate bag, your confidence in my self-control was truly inspiring. And you were delicious.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

My transformation into a bitter, angry old woman is almost complete.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I wish religion made people nicer to each other.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Never understood why people train their dogs to sit pretty or roll over when there are useful tricks like empty the dishwasher or fold the laundry.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Eating the sticker on an apple counts as 35% of your daily fiber intake.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Is ChatGPT down for anyone else? I’m a cardiac surgeon in the middle of heart surgery.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I forgot my password, failed the captcha and have been accused of being a robot. I don’t even know how to fight these allegations.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I wish my midlife crisis made me want to get a gym membership and a revenge body, but instead I’m eating Snickers for breakfast in bed.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Notice how you don’t catch me in public, it’s because i’m not real.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

They should invent a life where I know what I’m doing.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,532

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

I love your niche references! Are you typically ignored in large groups, by any chance?

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

My girlfriend confided in me she loves when I blow air on her when she’s hot, but honestly, I’m not a fan.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

Making eye contact with strangers on the sidewalk and saying “it’s crazy that they just let me walk around, haha”.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

Interviewer: Why do you want to work in customer service? Me: Well, I’m really good at apologizing for things that aren’t my fault.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

My hobbies include going home, wishing I was at home, and being at home.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

If the Christians published the Kama Sutra, it would have been one page long.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

I mostly choose to stay silent in weird situations but my face has subtitles.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

I’m not falling for it again. These missions have been successful 8 times already.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

Too young to retire, too poor to quit and too fat to strip – so let’s move on.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

How my weekend was? Light, dark, light, dark, Monday.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via LinkedIn:

When society eventually breaks down and we are left to rebuild civilization, I hope there are people who still know how to make cheese.

Just landed via Slack:

The iPhone alarm is so effective that you wake up before it goes off, so you don’t have to listen to such an unbearable noise.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

You look like the result of a failed CIA experiment.

Trending via Pinterest:

Home is where you can look ugly and enjoy it.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Explain it to me like I’m 5 drinks in.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

To horses, hay is considered both a bed and breakfast.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Maybe the wolf from The Neverending Story still has nightmares about me, too.

Live now on WeChat:

Middle children as adults still trying to get attention because the oldest is being dramatic and the younger child is getting away with everything.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

There’s no better feeling than coming home and immediately changing into your Adam Sandler fit.

Just shared via Reddit:

Future generations will never have to live in unprecedented times, because we’re precedenting the Hell out of everything right now.

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