Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

Dear God, thank you for the job I have. But if you have a lottery win planned for me, I’m ready! Thank you.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

I’ve literally never copied and pasted text and thought, “I’m so glad it kept the formatting and font from the other document.”

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

An escape room, but it’s just your thoughts. Good luck.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

The name Ella is short for Mozzarella.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

Need to win the lottery so I can focus on going to museums and working out.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

You know you’re over 50 when you have “upstairs Ibuprofen” and “downstairs Ibuprofen”.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

Every single morning, I have to get out of bed and do things, and it’s bullshit.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

Love when job applications ask for my desired salary so I can choose between not being hired and being exploited for my work.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

You can’t convince me that 2020 didn’t open a portal to hell that we’re still living in.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

Interviewer: Give an example of a difficult scenario and how you handled it. Me: I poured a bowl of cereal but had no milk, so I used ice cream.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Jan 2, 2026

3,696

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Maximizing rent value by turning ‘homebody’ into an Olympic sport!

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Just saw the fattest bird. This guy must get up early as hell.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Did you know on the Canary Islands there is not one canary? And on the Virgin Isles? Same thing – not one canary there either!

Trending via Pinterest:

Imagine if every time you stepped into an elevator, it played the “Mission Impossible” theme.

Live now on Telegram:

“There are no words in the English language that have all the vowels in alphabetical order,” he said facetiously.

Shared recently on Threads:

There’s a weird kind of grief that comes with late August, and I can’t explain it.

Trending via Twitch:

That very depressing moment when you find out the fire alarm that went off at work was just a test.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

At the dispensary asking which strain will stop the yearning.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I’m perfectly approachable as long as you’re carrying a plate of nachos.

Trending via Telegram:

Sometimes I wish I understood what some of you said and sometimes I am happy that I don’t.

Can you lose weight by running away from your feelings?

2 months ago

0

Can you lose weight by running away from your feelings?

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Can you lose weight by running away from your feelings? 🏃‍♂️🤔 Well, you might shed a few tears instead of pounds! Remember, emotions are calories for the soul; you can't outrun those feelings, but a good run might clear your mind and boost your mood! 🏃‍♀️💪"

anxiety, coping, exercise, feelings, fitness, humor, lose, motivation, running, self-help, weight

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’m the type of husband that helps his wife look for her missing chocolate that I ate.

0

2 months ago

chocolate, help, husband, i, missing, relationship, snack, wife
Can we talk about what little red riding hoods actual grandma must have looked like?

0

2 months ago

actual, appearance, character, fairy, fairy tale, fantasy, grandma, hood, humor, little, little red riding hood, red, riding, storytelling, tale, talk
I woke up again, it’s pathetic how much death fears me.

0

5 months ago

again, death, fear, fears, humor, i, life, me, mortality, much, pathetic, sarcasm, waking, waking up, woke
People complain about jury duty as if listening to true crime all day and being sequestered at night isn’t secretly every mother’s fantasy.

0

2 months ago

being, complain, complaint, crime, day, duty, every, fantasy, humor, jury, jury duty, listening, mother, night, people, sequester, true, true crime
Wondering when these skinny jeans are gonna kick in.

0

2 months ago

body, body image, expectation, fashion, humor, image, jean, jeans, kick, skinny, skinny jean, skinny jeans, style
Boss: You’ll never find another job like this. Me: That’d be great.

0

2 months ago

another, boss, employment, great, humor, irony, job, me, never, sarcasm, work, workplace

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

92 shares on YouTube this month:

Mouse in a conference call: hold on, I’m gonna put you on squeakerphone.

46 shares on Reddit this month:

You should just baseline mistrust every single politician at every level until they prove themselves worthy of liking.

30 shares on Snapchat this month:

God: “You’re all a bunch of bastards and I should never have created you.”

27 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Having siblings is so important because you learn the exact amount you can annoy someone before they try to physically kill you.

93 shares on Snapchat this month:

It’s getting very expensive to be alive.

78 shares on TikTok this month:

The cinema vibe is my favorite, you literally forget about the world for like 2-3 hours.

38 shares on WhatsApp this month:

That little stroll to the coffee maker makes me happy every morning.

24 shares on Twitch this month:

Look, 80’s kids went from Inspector Gadget to Terminator so we have a lot of mixed feelings about technology.

22 shares on Discord this month:

I learned Morse code, and then I couldn’t sleep because the rain kept telling me to go fuck myself.

68 shares on Reddit this month:

At the job interview with one AirPod in.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I can’t believe there was a time in my life when someone had to make me take a nap.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Forgetting to put jewelry and perfume on is literally the worst feeling.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

If you’re reading this, drink some water. You’re not a cactus.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Wife bought something on FB Marketplace, but she’s afraid she’ll get kidnapped, so she sends me to pick it up from a guy whose wife sent him because she’s afraid to get kidnapped.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

“Do you have any hobbies?” Lately, I’ve been really into panicking.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m neither a lover nor a fighter. I’m a snacker.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Not now, honey. I’m talking to strangers on the internet.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve done literally nothing all day, except feel guilty about doing nothing all day.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Witnessing karma is awesome . . . witnessing instant karma is more awesome.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Ruined a Ferrari guy’s day today by telling him that I loved his Corvette.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,655

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

Not to brag, but I was unhinged way before it was cool.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

Whoever named the meatball absolutely nailed it.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

Wearing a condom while she’s on birth control is called two-factor authentication.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

Thank you all for attending my final rose ceremony. There will be no roses.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

Defeating imposter syndrome by actually being incompetent.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

I wish I had a pair of skinny genes.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

Everyone’s gangsta until they spot a double rainbow in the sky.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

My goal weight is getting a magician to saw me in half.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

Tonight, the moon is staring at me.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

I’m done with dating sites and am now only focusing on food delivery people. They have a job, a car, and most importantly food.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on X:

This meeting should’ve been a fist fight.

Just landed via Snapchat:

You know you’re getting old when you’re entering your birth year online and you need to spin that thing like you’re on wheel of fortune.

Making waves on Facebook:

Two reasons you never date at work: 1. HR frowns upon it. 2. Your partner gets super pissed.

Going viral on Reddit:

When you accidentally laugh at your own thoughts, and now people are staring.

Seen just now on YouTube:

You get to a certain age and realize stretching is non-negotiable.

Broadcasted on Discord:

You can’t have a bad day at work if you don’t go.

Making waves on Discord:

Opening a bakery and calling it “I’m a crepe. I’m a weird dough.”

Making waves on Facebook:

Babe, you’re not acting according to my delusions right now.

Just shared via TikTok:

It sucks when you realize it’s only Thursday, until you realize it’s only Wednesday.

Breaking via Telegram:

Do we barbecue with women or without salad?

© 2025. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴