Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇼🇸 has viewed:

I love sleeping in fishnets. Makes you feel like a big honey roast ham.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has copied:

I’m tired of commercials trying to be funny. Scare me into buying something. I want to be terrified of buying the wrong toothpaste.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

At this point, if a clown invited me into the woods, I would just go.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

I’ve finally found a book that speaks to me. I believe it’s called an “audiobook”.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

Ain’t nothing better than knowing you were right when everyone else thought you were crazy.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

I made a clone of myself to do the dishes, another to do the laundry, and another to do the cooking, but we’re all sitting on the couch watching TV.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

My body is in shock this morning from having to wake up early and wear hard pants.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

The real threat to Democracy is the Bureaucracy.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

Every time I spend my own money, I feel like somebody needs to reimburse me.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

You were there at the beginning of the Internet if you’ve heard the following: “Get off the web, I need to make a call!”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

501 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,094

Funny Quotes Topics

17,246

Funny Quotes Images

15,094

Updated

Dec 22, 2025

Users Online

3,817

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I be like, “I needed this,” and it’s just me getting drunk.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Apparently, “I just don’t want to” is not a valid reason when your boss asks you why you’re not coming in today.

Trending via Reddit:

Girl, you gotta try this healing potion. It’s called beer.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Don’t throw hate at me, throw money!

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Blocking someone isn’t enough, I want them to get lice.

Going viral on Telegram:

What part of “I don’t want to spend any more money” don’t I understand?

Shared recently on Twitch:

People my age are on baby #2, and I’m on drink #5.

Trending via Instagram:

I hope you celebrate your birthday like your birth – naked and screaming.

Just landed via WeChat:

I’m nervous that my diet pill will stick in my throat, so I usually eat a few cookies after to help push it down.

Shared recently on X:

*Googles: How to fake your own death and erase existence before 9am Monday morning.

Can’t. Calling out some bullshitters on some bullshit.

3 weeks ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like you're holding a BS court session! 🧐👨‍⚖️🚫💩

blunt, bullshit, calling, calling out, honesty, humor, sarcasm

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The real morning people are the ones that wake up to call radio stations.

0

1 month ago

call, humor, morning, people, radio, real, stations, wake, wake up
The first guy to clap after seeing something cool must have been like “what the hell am I doing?”

0

1 month ago

after, am, clap, confusion, cool, doing, guy, hell, humor, i, reaction, seeing, something
My kids are asking for another dog that I can feed and walk.

0

1 month ago

another, asking, chores, dog, family, feed, humor, humor about pets, i, kids, parenting, pet, pets, responsibility, walk
“You shouldn’t let your cat jump on the counter”, my cat could take out a loan in my name if he wanted to.

0

2 months ago

cat, counter, humor, jump, let, loan, name, pet, responsibility, take, trust, wanted
Sometimes my body needs to be punished by Taco Bell.

0

1 month ago

bell, body, cravings, fast, fast food, food, humor, indulgence, needs, punishment, sometimes, taco, Taco Bell
That awkward moment when you try something on in a shop but you don’t know if you can get it off again.

0

2 months ago

again, awkward, awkward moment, experience, fashion, fitting, fitting room, get it off, humor, know, moment, relatable, room, shop, shopping, shopping experience, something, try, try-on

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

54 shares on Slack this month:

I will never understand people who don’t gasp dramatically at rainbows.

21 shares on Threads this month:

You can’t be everyone’s cup of tea, let them sip on their own bland brew.

89 shares on TikTok this month:

Weird me out? No. You’ve weirded me in. Let’s merge souls.

41 shares on Threads this month:

You can always tell when someone is on a diet by how they scrape every last bit from that yogurt container.

93 shares on Facebook this month:

Hate when I view someone’s story, and it’s their birthday.

69 shares on Facebook this month:

I love a touchy-feely man. Like, yes, please keep your hands on me.

50 shares on Pinterest this month:

The economy’s so tough, people out here eating grass — matcha.

43 shares on Instagram this month:

You know it’s bad when even a cheeseburger doesn’t help.

84 shares on WeChat this month:

It’s beginning to cost a lot like Christmas.

37 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I want my house spotless, but kicking my kids out seems wrong.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

And now begins the yearly tradition of writing the incorrect year on everything, for the next 3 months.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

There are two types of people: Those who steal food off your plate and those who you keep in your life.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

Anyone know how to create an Outlook rule that sends every email to junk, deletes it, blocks the sender, and sets my laptop on fire?

Someone from 🇮🇱 has viewed:

So you mean to tell me a stress ball isn’t for throwing at people who stress you out?

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

Intermittent fasting is how I drive, not how I eat.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

Coffee doesn’t even work on me anymore. I just drink it because the taste tricks my brain into thinking I’m a functioning adult.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

I’m old enough to remember when rainbows were in black and white.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

Monday has a personal vendetta against my happiness.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

My dogs don’t feel earthquakes because they have constant gas.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

When you realize your punishments as a kid (stay home, take a nap, no junk food, go to bed early) are now your goals as an adult.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Twitch:

I wonder how much this “Never mind, it’s only 10 bucks” has already cost me?

Just landed via X:

Life so stupid, I just want a burger and to be held.

Seen just now on X:

Strict parents raise good liars.

Trending via Instagram:

“I’m not afraid to admit when I’m wrong. For example, I thought it was a good idea to leave the house today, which, as it turns out, was a terrible mistake.”

Live now on YouTube:

Reverse cowgirl so I can bend backward and look at him like the Exorcist.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Anyone else’s phone make a retching noise when you unlock it with Face ID?

Trending via Instagram:

I just come here for the free life advice and inspirational quotes from people who’s lives are complete train wrecks.

Spotted on X:

I’m not starting a presentation with “ladies and gentlemen”, I’m using the gender neutral “to those who heed my warnings”.

Going viral on Instagram:

Every weekend has two days: Saturday and It’s Monday Tomorrow.

Wordgag 🎅

Activity Log ✨

Can’t. Calling out some bullshitters on some bullshit.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

The real morning people are the ones that wake up to call radio stations.

The first guy to clap after seeing something cool must have been like “what the hell am I doing?”

My kids are asking for another dog that I can feed and walk.

“You shouldn’t let your cat jump on the counter”, my cat could take out a loan in my name if he wanted to.

Sometimes my body needs to be punished by Taco Bell.

That awkward moment when you try something on in a shop but you don’t know if you can get it off again.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨