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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

D was probably like “lmao ok” when they named the alphabet the ABCs

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

Please don’t send me mixed signals, I don’t even understand the clear ones.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

To call you stupid would be an insult to stupid people!

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

Not to brag but I don’t need alcohol to do something stupid.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

Dogs come when they’re called; cats take a message and get back to you later.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

It’s not even a crush. it’s just unsupervised hope.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

Rest here, weary doom-scroller, you’ve seen enough bullshit for one day.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

Guys have good pics on their dating profiles because their ex took them.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

If you bought 1 Bitcoin ten years ago, it would now be worth 1 Bitcoin. Let that sink in.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

I am in favor of equal pay for men on OnlyFans.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

96 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,690

Funny Quotes Topics

16,895

Funny Quotes Images

14,690

Updated

Dec 1, 2025

Users Online

3,781

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Discord:

So apparently if they ask “do you trust me?”, replying with “well, I trust you to be you” is the incorrect response.

Just shared via Twitch:

“Stand up for yourself!” Girl, I have low iron.

Shared recently on TikTok:

My husband and I were doing yard work, but I started a fight so I could storm off into the air conditioning.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I shaved my legs today and it was the fastest 3lbs I’ve ever lost in my life.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Filling my PEZ dispenser with Ibuprofen for whimsical pain relief.

Trending via X:

Never forget that your fave celebs were trying to sell you cartoon monkey pictures during a pandemic.

Making waves on Reddit:

I’m not a 10. I’m more like two 5s held together by cheese and chocolate.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

My hobbies include trying to close the elevator doors before anyone else gets on.

Trending via YouTube:

I never though I’d be the kind of person who wakes up early to exercise. I was right.

Trending via Discord:

Sundries sounds like something grandma would call scandalous underwear.

Can’t. Calling out some bullshitters on some bullshit.

Can’t. Calling out some bullshitters on some bullshit.
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Commentary:
Sounds like you're holding a BS court session! 🧐👨‍⚖️🚫💩

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

96 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,690

Funny Quotes Topics

16,895

Funny Quotes Images

14,690

Updated

Dec 1, 2025

Users Online

3,957

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

Sometimes the voices in my head get bullied by the voices in my stomach.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has bookmarked:

If you pick a movie that’s longer than the flight, the pilot gets a notification to fly around for a bit.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

“It’s been a long week!” Me, on a Tuesday.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

Some people call me crazy. I prefer the term happy with a twist.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

The older I get, the more I understand why people live in the woods and talk to squirrels.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

I don’t drink blood to stay young. I do it mainly for the lifestyle.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

Don’t ever forget where you came from. That’s where you left your car.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

Me: This is a hard escape room. Manager: You’re at work.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

Days without shaking my head disapprovingly at myself: 0.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

My credit score is a family of raccoons hissing over a McRib.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on LinkedIn:

A shark could swim faster than me, but I could probably run faster than a shark. So, in a triathlon, it would all come down to who is the better cyclist.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Desperately searching the dating app settings for an option to turn down the difficulty level.

Just shared via Instagram:

I’m cosplaying as a functional adult again.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I’m at the age where using the wrong pillow makes you feel like you broke your neck.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Hey cell phone companies who play smooth jazz hold music hoping I’ll lose interest and give up: yeah, it’s kinda working.

Just landed via Messenger:

The spelling of “bourgeoisie” was intended as yet another means of oppression.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Once I see a vein on your forehead while we arguing, I’ll let you be.

Seen just now on Instagram:

I’m not an alcoholic, I only drink twice a year. When it’s sunny, and when it isn’t.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

“I’m getting tired of everything being 100 dollars and 100 degrees.”

Just shared via Reddit:

You can tell a lot about someone based on which Spice Girl they were most attracted to.

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