Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

I’m at that age where I can no longer refer to other people as “elderly.”

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

I need a stunt double for when I’m navigating my way to the bathroom at night.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

Unfortunately, I do enjoy watching the downfall of people who did me wrong.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

People who accuse me of delusions of grandeur, obviously don’t worship me enough.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

I used to look for monsters under the bed. Today I know they are behind some people’s fake smiles.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

I taped a picture of my paycheck on my front door to keep all the solicitors away.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

“How would you describe yourself.” Me: I absolutely would not.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has shared:

I think I could actually generate electricity with how irritated I get sometimes.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

I never used to worry about death but now I’m terrified it will break my winning Wordle streak.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

Flying bugs can basically go anywhere they want, but still choose to fly right into your face.

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,446

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Reddit:

Love when job applications ask for my desired salary so I can choose between not being hired and being exploited for my work.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

They say water is the source of life, which is true because you can’t make coffee without water.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

I wonder if Mary and Joseph hated putting away the Christmas stuff as much as I do.

Breaking via Pinterest:

Weird me out? No. You’ve weirded me in. Let’s merge souls.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I always carry a knife with me in case I run into someone with 10,000 spoons.

Shared recently on Telegram:

So I just checked my bank account, and it looks like for Christmas I am getting everyone the thought that counts.

Just landed via Threads:

Hi, I’m a social media user, you might know me from such hits as “I’m leaving this stupid place” and “I’m back everybody.”

Freshly posted on Instagram:

And is this “year-end bonus” in the room with us right now?

Spotted on Messenger:

The police said I was a ‘suspect’, but I prefer being called a ‘person of interest’.

Can’t. Calling out some bullshitters on some bullshit.

1 day ago

Funny Quotes

Funny quote about calling out nonsense with bold honesty and attitude.

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Commentary:
Sounds like you're holding a BS court session! 🧐👨‍⚖️🚫💩

blunt, bullshit, calling, calling out, honesty, humor, sarcasm

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64 shares on Facebook this month:

“AI is coming for your jobs”. I’d like to see AI show up drunk on Fridays and sexually harass my coworkers.

75 shares on YouTube this month:

We go together like coffee and cigarettes.

31 shares on Slack this month:

Lord, grant me the serenity to accept the terms and conditions I do not read.

71 shares on YouTube this month:

Anyone want to meet up and just scream… We could get food after.

58 shares on Instagram this month:

It’s crazy people waste their time with hobbies and family when there are strangers on the internet who need to be argued with.

82 shares on X this month:

Before you beef with me, just know I’m deeply malicious to my core once upset.

55 shares on TikTok this month:

They should have a section on the wing of the plane where people can go out for a cigarette.

86 shares on Reddit this month:

Kinda in the mood to let my feelings impair my judgement.

91 shares on YouTube this month:

No, I didn’t eat enough protein today, but I did think of you with enough intensity to generate new muscle tissue in my heart.

47 shares on Telegram this month:

Used dark mode so much that I became physically repulsed when I see a white screen.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇲 has viewed:

The hottest part of sex is when I take off my glasses and put them in a safe place.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

It’s almost bed time, so I’ll just check my e-mail, Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, and watch a season of my favorite show on Netflix real quick.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

Terrible economy to ask a girl what’s wrong.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has downloaded:

People who say that they don’t have time for my bullshit should wake up an hour earlier.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

If I honk at this person, maybe it will make them a better person.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

Women love it when you approach them on the street and say “whoa, is there a hot babe convention in town?”

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

With great power comes the absolute certainty that you’ll turn into a right douche.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

I only look up to people that are taller than me and really that’s about the extent of it.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has viewed:

90% of the things I worry about never happen. Worrying seems to be working.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

The thing I’ve always found tricky about money is knowing how much I should have.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WhatsApp:

“Winter is literally the best season.” Okay, husky, go sit outside then.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

If your girlfriend doesn’t go a little psycho on you from time to time, then she’s not in love with you, sweetie.

Spotted on Instagram:

My phone just filmed a 2 hour documentary about life inside my purse.

Seen just now on Twitch:

You were promised to me 3,000 years ago.

Going viral on Messenger:

My life is based on a true story.

Just shared via WeChat:

Don’t date coworkers. Being the hot coworker nobody at work has a chance with is always the best role to play.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

The actors you see in movies are probably home by now.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I’d make room in my pillow fort for you.

Trending via Pinterest:

I used to think “9 to 5” means a job from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m.

Spreading quickly via X:

I always need to pee, but it’s just because my heart is so big it pushes on my bladder.

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Activity Log ✨

Can’t. Calling out some bullshitters on some bullshit.

Daylight savings is not enough. You need to be daylight investing.

I don’t assume anything except the fetal position.

Absolutely no reason for a single guy to be in a sunflower field. Get out of there, pervert!

The worst part of marriage is when you do something stupid, the best part of marriage is when your partner does something stupid.

My dream is to buy a horse and race it. The horse will probably beat me but it’ll still be fun.

A little sign under the doorbell that says, “think twice, adventurer.”

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Can’t. Calling out some bullshitters on some bullshit.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Daylight savings is not enough. You need to be daylight investing.

I don’t assume anything except the fetal position.

Absolutely no reason for a single guy to be in a sunflower field. Get out of there, pervert!

The worst part of marriage is when you do something stupid, the best part of marriage is when your partner does something stupid.

My dream is to buy a horse and race it. The horse will probably beat me but it’ll still be fun.

A little sign under the doorbell that says, “think twice, adventurer.”

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨