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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

My dentist said my teeth were stained and asked if I smoke or drink coffee? I said, “I drink it.”

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

We’re all naughty, some just more than others.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has shared:

Updating my resume. Anyone got a more professional word for “dumpster fire”?

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

When Chuck Norris was born, the doctor got slapped.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

Sure, sex is great, but have you ever closed a dozen tabs after finishing an academic paper?

Someone from 🇧🇫 has copied:

I finally have glasses, which is great because I needed one more thing to frantically search for every morning.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

I pray this boy wins in life. I wanna see him on top of me.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

Sorry, can’t make it, just remembered I don’t want to.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

Me leaving the house: I hope I don’t see anyone.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

Just told my cat I’d give her 500 bucks to stop meowing.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,322

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

I keep pressing the space bar, but I’m still on Earth.

Going viral on Threads:

After having received my free sample of winter, I would like to cancel my subscription please.

Spotted on TikTok:

I’m thinking stuff like “yeah” and also stuff like “yup.”

Just landed via X:

I wish men had sluttier outfit options. Because why am I in a mini skirt, and you’re in a quarter zip?

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Any time I throw up, I stare at it like I’m getting a message from the past.

Just landed via X:

Are you there, bathroom walls, ceiling, floor, mirror, sink, and towels? It’s me, the kids toothpaste.

Live now on TikTok:

If I’m ever in a coma, please put chapstick on my lips.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Once I shot a man with a paintball gun, just to watch him dye.

Live now on Pinterest:

No wine. No peace. Know wine. Know peace.

Spotted on Threads:

My anti-theft device in my car is that it’s manual.

“Careful. It’s slippery!” – Everyone, after you’ve already slipped.

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“Careful. It’s slippery!” – Everyone, after you’ve already slipped.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic case of wise words arriving a bit too late! 🤦‍♂️ Who needs hindsight when you have gravity on your side, right? 🙃 Remember, slipping is just an unexpected dance move waiting to happen! 💃 #SlipperyWhenFail"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

50 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I put the hot in psychotic.

79 shares on Facebook this month:

I think my bank account has been taking Ozempic.

39 shares on Pinterest this month:

Never skip the footnotes – it’s here you find out who made the author angry enough to write the article.

68 shares on TikTok this month:

I’m in a long-distance relationship with the stars.

88 shares on YouTube this month:

While the optimist and pessimist argued about the glass of water, the opportunist drank it.

72 shares on YouTube this month:

I eat posts like yours for breakfast.

20 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The world needs to chill out. There’s no way future history teachers can cram all this nonsense into a semester.

72 shares on TikTok this month:

Terrible economy to ask a girl what’s wrong.

31 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Painted all of my red flags orange for fall.

29 shares on YouTube this month:

Texting random numbers “It’s done.”

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

20 folks are currently checking 👀

When you try to be humble and say it’s no big deal and they agree with you.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

If we’ve got the technology to make heated car seats, then where the hell are the seats that automatically cool down in the summer? Make it happen, nerds.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s comical when I lean back in my chair only to realize it’s a stool.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

My mom didn’t raise a fool. Possibly a psycho, but never a fool.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

My favorite unit of measurement is smithereens.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I wish we were cats so you could just randomly slap co-workers for no reason.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Being awake is the worst.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

How old were you when you realized others couldn’t see the matrix?

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m a private person except for when I’m publicly trauma dumping on social media.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I wish every day had 30,000 hours, and that I had unlimited Adderall and was unemployed.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,715

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇻 has shared:

You can’t change your past but you can change your pasta.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

Have you ever been sitting around overthinking about overthinking, and then wonder why you’re even thinking that?

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

The first people who called chocolate a vegetable are the real heroes.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

I’ve found God. It’s my turn to hide now.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has shared:

If you don’t believe aliens walk amongst us, who else could write such unnatural dialogue in pharmaceutical commercials?

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

Sorry for how I acted when there were multiple noises happening at the same time.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

Currently helping my husband look for his $20 I spent yesterday.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

Petition to lower the retirement age. I’m tired now.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

I’m not mad, I just hope your socks slide off in your shoe all day.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

The more stupid the views, the harder it is to talk people out of them.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Three wise men? I highly doubt that.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Maybe we should put monkeys in charge for a while just to see how it goes.

Live now on WeChat:

The first two drinks don’t count if you have social anxiety, they just turn you into a normal person.

Going viral on Facebook:

Netflix needs to stop asking if I’m still watching and start asking if I moved the laundry to the dryer yet.

Spotted on Threads:

The best part about getting added to a group chat is leaving two weeks later.

Just shared via Discord:

My goal for this year is just to make sure the aliens know I’m on their side.

Freshly posted on X:

I’m getting close to that age where people applaud the things I’m “still able to do”.

Making waves on Threads:

Daylight savings is just a made up holiday to sell more daylight.

Just shared via Facebook:

My favorite sex position is any of them. I’m just glad to be involved.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Don’t worry, guys. Together we can eliminate logic and reason on social media. I see some of you are already ahead of the game. Way to go!

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