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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

What if i just replied “not now kitten daddy’s busy” to all my work emails?

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

Can’t believe I didn’t get invited to that party I would have made up an excuse not to go to.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

Twitter is great because you can tweet “hi” and someone will tell you you’re wrong.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

I’ve reached that age where I don’t have to drink to forget because it just happens naturally now.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

Sorry I’m late, I got here as soon as I wanted to.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

I’m not well rested. Sleeping Beauty was well rested.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

Adulting is when you realize that all you need is a home, stable income and a peaceful partner.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

Just know that somebody out there is thinking of you, and you should really lock your doors.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

Mindfulness is out. We’re doing drugs again.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

Zombies only eat brains, so you are safe.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

831 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,993

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,993

5 hours ago

3,447

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Instagram:

I finally figured out my lifelong dream of becoming a human blanket, but my friends still call it napping on their couch.

Reported on X:

When you’re late for work, you gotta walk in fast and act like you’re mad.

Just landed via Slack:

Spent most of the day making sure the couch still works. So far so good.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

All the things I like to do are either immoral, illegal, or fattening.

Shared recently on X:

“Ooh, you’ve caught the sun.” Translation: You look like you’ve been swimming in a volcano.

Making waves on Instagram:

Who needs dystopian fiction when you can watch the news?

Making waves on Messenger:

If I were lost and all I had was a compass, I would still be lost.

Seen just now on Instagram:

I want to be like a caterpillar. Eat a lot, sleep for a while, and then wake up beautiful.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

My life changed when I learned some house spiders can’t survive outside, so now I just catch them and release them in a friend’s home.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Conflicts may arise but always remember to be the bitter person.

Carrots are a great thing to eat when you’re hungry, and want to stay that way.

4 months ago

Carrots are a great thing to eat when you’re hungry, and want to stay that way.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the humble carrot – nature's way of saying 'Enjoy this healthy snack… and be prepared to raid the fridge later!' It's the ultimate tease for your taste buds, keeping hunger at bay while sneakily plotting its revenge. Clever little veggie, isn't it?"

carrot, diet, eat, food, humor, hungry, nutrition, stay, thing, want

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

831 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,993

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,993

5 hours ago

3,437

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

Mirror, mirror on the wall, why so many fingerprints?

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

Does everyone in the world want to come to my house tomorrow?

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

Humanity doesn’t deserve a new year, look at the mess they made of the last one.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

Look, babe, I’m sorry. If your fake British accent keeps being this geographically inconsistent, I’m going to have to cancel the medieval roleplay sex.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

Why do they call it a garage sale instead of a garbage sale?

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

Due to unfortunate circumstances, things are no longer fergalicious nor bootylicious.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

Limiting my replies to introverts, wizards, freaks and vampires only.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

It is a mistake to say that the people who live a hundred years from now will have nothing to laugh at. They can laugh at us.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

Some days you’re the quick brown fox and other days you’re the lazy dog.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

We work all week to work some more around the house all weekend long. Isn’t life grand?

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WhatsApp:

“Those tattoos will make it harder to get a job!” Okay, well so will my personality.

Making waves on Threads:

Breaking News: Local woman stuns in new unnecessary online purchase.

Shared recently on YouTube:

According to “The Hobbit”, Gollum was once a handsome young man who was robbed of his youth, zest for life and energy by putting on a ring. Men, think about it!

Shared recently on Reddit:

Jurassic Park came out decades ago, and now I feel like a fossil.

Just landed via Discord:

I’m planning to eat the rich, but can I sub out fries for a salad?

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Sometimes I think about Adam and Eve and how they couldn’t even get a babysitter.

Making waves on Slack:

I think I look pretty okay for my age. It’s just when I hold menus two feet from my face that I know the ruse is up.

Reported on Snapchat:

If I got a Dollar for every time I thought about you, I would start thinking about you.

Just landed via Slack:

1pm, the perfect time to start doing the work I woke up early to get a jump on.

Making waves on WeChat:

Being held for questioning sounds more romantic than it is.

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