Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

People who don’t talk to themselves are the weird ones.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

Shoutout to coughing on the bus. Haven’t tried it myself but seems really popular.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

I’m not an early bird or a night owl, I’m some sort of permanently exhausted pigeon.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

I logged on to Amazon and they said that they have run out of things that I don’t need.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

Imagine the carnage at an IKEA team building event.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

What no one tells you about having kids is that within a few years you’re in possession of a lot of teeth that you have no idea what to do with.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

Netflix subtitles be like “speaking foreign language”. Bro, translate it!

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

1994: I can’t wait to see what the world is like in 30 years. 2024: God no.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

I see you liked my selfie, but what about my ideas?

Someone from 🇸🇿 has shared:

Fun fact: Did you know that removing junk food from your diet can help you lose up to 90% of your will to live?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

243 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,512

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,512

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,261

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Why would I work from home when I don’t even work from work?

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

All my passwords are protected by short term memory loss.

Breaking via WeChat:

IKEA products should be cheaper, I’m doing all the work here. It’s like ordering takeout food and still having to cook it when it arrives.

Making waves on Slack:

Being a dinosaur sounds kinda nice. No bills, no work, just extinct.

Just landed via WeChat:

The way time stretches between the moment you put your hands under the air dryer and the realization it is in fact a paper towel dispenser.

Shared recently on YouTube:

We go together like coffee and cigarettes.

Shared recently on X:

Windmill? Big fan.

Just landed via Facebook:

Some things are better left unsaid, unless you’re on X.

Broadcasted on Slack:

I assume fish have beautiful names for eachother, unpronounceable by human tongues.

Cheesecake dislikers are attention seekers.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Guess I'm just here for the attention then… or maybe I'm just lactose-intolerant! 😂🧀🍰"

attention, attention seeker, cheesecake, dislike, food, food preference, humor, preference, seeker

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Ctrl Alt delete my fat.

0

2 months ago

Alt, Ctrl, delete, diet, fat, fitness, humor, joke, tech
Sitting in a room with my husband and kids… Suddenly I realize everyone here has been in my vagina. Wow.

0

2 months ago

childbirth, everyone, family, funny realization, here, humor, husband, i, kid, kids, pregnancy, realization, realize, room, sitting
I hope this out-of-office message finds you well.

0

5 months ago

auto-reply, communication, email, finds, hope, humor, i, message, out of office, vacation, well, workplace
I crashed my bike in 1989 and hurt my knee real bad. We didn’t have social media back then so I’m telling you guys now.

0

2 months ago

1989, bike, bike crash, crash, injury, knee, knee injury, media, nostalgia, social, social media, storytelling
The word “misread” can be misread as “misread.”

0

2 months ago

humor, language, misread, pun, reading, spelling, word, wordplay
How do I tell Instagram I don’t want to see guys almost eaten by gators?

0

2 months ago

gator, guys, humor, i, Instagram, media, preferences, social, social media, tell, want, wildlife

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

75 shares on Reddit this month:

When the past calls, don’t answer it. It has nothing new to tell you.

63 shares on Facebook this month:

Haggis – the meal you have to stomach twice.

24 shares on YouTube this month:

If three ghosts visited me on Christmas, I’d make them play Mario Party with me.

47 shares on Snapchat this month:

A garlic a day keeps the doctor away.

15 shares on Telegram this month:

People who work in retail should be allowed to slap a customer or two each Christmas, as a little treat.

40 shares on Slack this month:

Asking him what his favorite dinosaur is on the first date to determine compatibility.

71 shares on Slack this month:

Don’t go chasing waterfalls? The place where many video games hide easter eggs and other rare items?

39 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’ll never tell anyone your secret because that would mean talking to people.

52 shares on Facebook this month:

Indiana Jones is a fantasy about being a professor with no admin duties.

77 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Foreplay is great, I particularly like the part where I peel them, chop them into pieces, then roast them in the oven until they’re all crispy and delicious.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇱 has shared:

McDonald’s needs a 3rd window so you can trade in all the wrong stuff they gave you.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

Show dominance by ending the year in bed.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

Getting old would be so fun if you didn’t wake up each morning with neck pain that suggests you slept hanging upside down like a bat.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

If anyone wants to sponsor me, I’ll be running a 0.002K this weekend to raise awareness for laziness.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

I was disappointed to learn today that my request for a sabbatical was rejected. Apparently that’s “not how marriage works.”

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

Might start signing off emails with ‘well, I hope you’re happy’

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

Who is praying on my downfall right now and can you stop?

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

Expiration date? More like spoiler alert.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

The number of times I stand in a room, staring because I forgot why I walked in there, is embarrassingly high.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

The Christmas tree I’ve had up all year makes a lot more sense now.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Sorry I missed your call. I saw that you were calling and immediately threw my phone into an active volcano.

Freshly posted on Slack:

I be like “communication is the key” then put my phone on do not disturb.

Trending via Twitch:

About to form my very first opinion.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

How do you politely tell someone that they ruined your life?

Going bananas on Telegram:

God, I’m not trying to rush you for my soulmate; but could I get the tracking number?

Just landed via Instagram:

Incredibly annoying that exercising, eating right, and drinking water can make you actually feel good.

Breaking via Discord:

I’ve watched porn with better writing than Stranger Things.

Spotted on TikTok:

Washing my hands in the sink and then wiping them on my cat, like a towel.

Going bananas on Messenger:

It sucks when you realize it’s only Thursday, until you realize it’s only Wednesday.

Spotted on Threads:

Did we do it, did we save the daylight?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Cheesecake dislikers are attention seekers.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Ctrl Alt delete my fat.

Sitting in a room with my husband and kids… Suddenly I realize everyone here has been in my vagina. Wow.

I hope this out-of-office message finds you well.

I crashed my bike in 1989 and hurt my knee real bad. We didn’t have social media back then so I’m telling you guys now.

The word “misread” can be misread as “misread.”

How do I tell Instagram I don’t want to see guys almost eaten by gators?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨