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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

I’m at a point in life where I’m just at a point.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

Acting jealous while secretly cheating is a pure talent of witchcraft.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

Sorry, I’m poor, I can’t afford to pay attention.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

I’m attracted to people that no one pays attention to.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

Jesus, I need money to organize your birthday.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

Sleeping is my drug, my bed is my dealer and my alarm is the police.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has downloaded:

Can someone come over and take this phone away from me?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,814

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Slack:

I was gonna get on the treadmill, but then the couch will get sad.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Have an early flight tomorrow, so naturally I’m going to stay up late tonight and be weird in my room.

Just landed via X:

Two reasons you never date at work: 1. HR frowns upon it. 2. Your partner gets super pissed.

Going bananas on Facebook:

Kids these days don’t know the shame of having to explain yo-yo injuries.

Spotted on YouTube:

Starting all my work emails today with, “to whom it’s about to concern”.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

I don’t know who needs to hear this right now, but it’s time to fold the laundry that’s been lying around since last Sunday.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Wow, this was a really long day of playing on my phone.

Christmas lights: the only thing bright around here besides my personality.

2 days ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Someone's personality just stole the spotlight from the Christmas lights 🌟🎄😄

around, bright, brightness, Christmas, Christmas light, here, holiday, humor, light, lights, only, personality, sarcasm, thing

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I always cook with wine. Sometimes I even add it to the food.

1 month ago
chef, cook, cooking, culinary, drink, food, humor, kitchen, wine
I don’t understand, but I also don’t care… so it works out.

2 months ago
apathy, attitude, care, confusion, humor, i, life, life attitude, understand, works
Remember, when a package says “sharing size”, that’s just a guideline. They have no enforcement mechanism.

1 month ago
enforcement, food, guideline, humor, just, mechanism, package, remember, sharing, sharing size, size, snack
Feeling like a bug without his rug.

1 month ago
analogy, bug, comfort, expression, feeling, humor, rug
Just found out about confirmation bias, and now every article I read totally proves I was right to be worried about it.

1 month ago
article, bias, cognitive, cognitive bias, confirmation, confirmation bias, every, found, humor, i, irony, just, pattern, prophecy, psychology, read, right, self-fulfilling, self-fulfilling prophecy, skepticism, thinking, thinking pattern
But if i put my laundry away, the laundry chair will be out of a job.

1 month ago
away, chair, clean, clean clothes, clothes, household, humor, i, job, laundry, procrastination, put, satire

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Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

So apparently if they ask “do you trust me?”, replying with “well, I trust you to be you” is the incorrect response.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

I am staying up till a million o’clock tonight.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

Adulting: unlocking life’s mysteries, one therapy session at a time.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

Icarus loved hot wings.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has shared:

Getting old is not fun. Sometimes I have to check my texts and photos when someone asks me what I did yesterday.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

It’s crazy that you don’t really argue with a baby for the first year of its life and then you have to argue with the baby every day.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

Actually, this email could’ve been a meeting. We could’ve spent an hour on the clock talking shit and gossiping. Someone could’ve brought bagels.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on LinkedIn:

If your kids aren’t drinking enough water, tell them it’s bedtime.

Just shared via TikTok:

I’m going to be a printer today and just not work.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Summer is here. Always put on some suncream to help the rain run off.

Seen just now on X:

My husband loves when we fight, and I turn it into a limited series called And Another Thing.

Shared recently on Reddit:

I don’t argue with idiots on the Internet, I just keep scrolling and mind my own business.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

How many filters does it take before it’s technically a painting?

Just shared via Pinterest:

As an exorcist, whenever I hear of some new poor soul possessed by a demon, all I can think is Ka-Ching!

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Christmas lights: the only thing bright around here besides my personality.

I always cook with wine. Sometimes I even add it to the food.

I don’t understand, but I also don’t care… so it works out.

Feeling like a bug without his rug.

Just found out about confirmation bias, and now every article I read totally proves I was right to be worried about it.

But if i put my laundry away, the laundry chair will be out of a job.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

I miss phone booths. We used to train our immune system in those things.

Your secret is safe with me and my sister.

I’m not a dietitian, but if you eat pizza right at midnight your body doesn’t know if the calories go towards yesterday or today so they don’t count.

That urge to nap between 3pm – 5pm is no joke.

I’m not good at quickly making up derogatory names on the fly, unless I’m driving.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Elsa froze her entire kingdom instead of dealing with her feelings. I respect that level of avoidance.

The world is such a beautiful place when you don’t think too hard about it or look around.

Just got revenge on someone who wronged me many, many years ago. Never relax, I’m coming.

Jobs are so clingy. Why do you need to see me 40 hours a week?

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

I spend half the day wondering if it’s too late for coffee and the other half wondering if it’s too early for alcohol.

Grateful for independence mostly because British food is gross.

Just checked my bank account. Looks like everyone’s getting a hug for Christmas.

Work again? Really? Didn’t I just do that yesterday?

If you think someone has put a spell on you, send me $500 and I’ll get rid of it.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Sorry about all of the correct stuff I said when I was right.

My phone charger is lying in another room. HELP.

I’m so smart, I got rid of cable and now I only have $638 in monthly streaming services.

Are you bad wifi, cause im feeling no connection here.

Pretty sure I need to go back to bed and sleep for 3 days.

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Christmas lights: the only thing bright around here besides my personality.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I always cook with wine. Sometimes I even add it to the food.

I don’t understand, but I also don’t care… so it works out.

Remember, when a package says “sharing size”, that’s just a guideline. They have no enforcement mechanism.

Feeling like a bug without his rug.

Just found out about confirmation bias, and now every article I read totally proves I was right to be worried about it.

But if i put my laundry away, the laundry chair will be out of a job.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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