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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

My superpower is giving you the middle finger using my eyes only.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

Now hush, Lil Labubu, don’t you cry, everything’s gonna be Dubai.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has downloaded:

I have officially reached the age where I am bothered by lights being on, doors left open, loud noises, and people.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

Due to financial reasons, I will now be performing photosynthesis.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

“NOT dishwasher safe!” You’ll be okay, buddy, just do your best in there.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

Icarus loved hot wings.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

Hello darkness, my old friend. Why are you here? It’s 6:00 pm.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

4,038

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Nobody lures you into a gingerbread house in the forest anymore.

Broadcasted on Slack:

I find as I get older it’s the little things that bring me joy. Like embarrassing my children.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

You can always tell when a man’s mustache is performative and not representative of his true spirit.

Shared recently on X:

Staying weird for my own sanity.

Spotted on Snapchat:

My boyfriend moved in with me straight from Hotel Mama. In a way, I’m now a single parent.

Spotted on Slack:

Life is like a helicopter. I don’t know how to operate a helicopter.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Being sober would be a lot easier if I liked myself.

Controlling your anger at work is a job in itself.

1 month ago

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Commentary:
Juggling job responsibilities: 80% actual work, 20% not flipping desks 😅🔨💼

anger, control, emotion, emotion management, frustration, job, management, work, workplace

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I can see the appeal of golf, the only sport where the winner is the one who does the least.

1 month ago
appeal, competition, golf, i, least, leisure, sport, where, winner
When I grow up, I’d like to be a retired lottery winner.

4 months ago
aspiration, grow, humor, i, ID, lottery, lottery winner, retirement, winner, wish
Let’s draft everyone who has their phone on military time first, since you’re all so eager.

1 month ago
draft, Eager, eagerness, everyone, humor, military, military time, phone, time
That moment the doorbell rings and you tip toe to the window pretending you’re not home.

2 months ago
doorbell, hiding, home, introvert, moment, not home, pretending, rings, sneak, tip, tip toe, toe, visitor, window
A hostile alien invasion sounds like a nice change of pace.

4 months ago
alien, alien invasion, change, change of pace, hostile, humor, invasion, nice, pace, sarcasm, sounds
People that hate cats will come back as mice in their next life.

1 month ago
back, cat, cats, hate, humor, life, mouse, next, next life, people, reincarnation

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

Kanye is pretty mean for someone with ‘yay’ in their name.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

My career plan? Win the lottery and disappear.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

As you get older you become all of the seven dwarfs.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

Don’t worry, nobody noticed the weird thing you did. They’re too busy with the weird thing you said.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has downloaded:

Your woman will take 2 hours to get ready, but if you don’t have your shoes on when she is ready, you’re the problem.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

Opening the web before 9am is crazy. Like, did you even try to have a good day?

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

I love replying to people within seconds. Hello. I am here. Always.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Twitch:

Newborns cry because they’re being evicted.

Spotted on Telegram:

I don’t understand the phrase “You can’t have your cake and eat it” because if I have cake, what the hell else am I supposed to do with it.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Adulting has stunned me into silence. I have no thoughts, no remarks and no commentary at the moment.

Seen just now on Discord:

Are there cheat codes for parenting teenagers? This level is really hard.

Just shared via TikTok:

If you need time alone, just announce that you need help cleaning the cats litter box.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Welcome to adulthood. The weekend is your only time to catch up on everything, but also your only time to do absolutely nothing.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

If you are influenced by influencers, you’re beyond retarded.

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Activity Log ✨

Controlling your anger at work is a job in itself.

I can see the appeal of golf, the only sport where the winner is the one who does the least.

When I grow up, I’d like to be a retired lottery winner.

Let’s draft everyone who has their phone on military time first, since you’re all so eager.

That moment the doorbell rings and you tip toe to the window pretending you’re not home.

A hostile alien invasion sounds like a nice change of pace.

People that hate cats will come back as mice in their next life.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

This year has gone by so quick. Christmas is basically tomorrow.

Life is short. Make sure you spend as much time as possible on the web arguing with strangers.

I can’t blame this generation too much for doing stupid stuff. My generation thought seven Police Academy movies were a good idea.

Most venomous snakes just make “Tsssss”. But I know some that say “Hi”.

Thanks to rice cakes, I still can’t imagine nothingness, but now I know what it tastes like.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

80s movies: Let’s go to the future! Today: Let’s go back to the 80s!

Accepting you’re about to throw up, gotta be the worst feeling on God’s green earth.

Meetings are just podcasts I didn’t choose.

I hate when I finish a show and don’t know what to do with my life.

I see why grandmas used to cook dinner at 3 p.m. and sit down the rest of the day.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Gotta find someone you’re thermostatically compatible with. You can’t be a 74 dating a 62.

Gatekeeping how insanely handsome I am by looking like total shit all the time.

When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that’s amore. When you swim in the sea and an eel bites your knee, that’s a moray.

Enjoy the time between diapers!

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Don’t let anyone ruin your day. Be a man. Ruin it yourself.

I’m either at work, going to work, coming home from work, sleeping for work, getting ready for work, or thinking about work.

Welcome to middle age. Everything you encounter is either blurry or too loud now.

Let’s all stand up against iron deficiency (but not too fast).

After weeks of using an anti aging cream, I can now proudly say: I now have very well-maintained wrinkles.

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Controlling your anger at work is a job in itself.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I can see the appeal of golf, the only sport where the winner is the one who does the least.

When I grow up, I’d like to be a retired lottery winner.

Let’s draft everyone who has their phone on military time first, since you’re all so eager.

That moment the doorbell rings and you tip toe to the window pretending you’re not home.

A hostile alien invasion sounds like a nice change of pace.

People that hate cats will come back as mice in their next life.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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