Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

Pinky promises are still a legit foundation of trust.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

“I’m currently not accepting new items on my to-do list.”

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

God: “You can’t just say ‘Goddammit!’ and expect Me to damn it. There’s a procedure. File the paperwork.”

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

I love a touchy-feely man. Like, yes, please keep your hands on me.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

I do not like how Netflix threatens to start the movie while I’m just tryna read the description. Like, please, you’re making me anxious.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

Even when I look up the slang of today’s kids, I still have no idea what it means.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

No one my age is single because they’re all unhappily married.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

Don’t let the fact that I’m deeply unserious distract you from the fact that you’re in the presence of a genius.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

Your card declining when you know you have money is a very funny experience.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

Sometimes you send an email that requires a response, and the other person writes back right away, and it’s like NO NOT YET.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,427

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Snapchat:

One man’s worst nightmare (me) is another man’s peace (also me).

Just shared via Pinterest:

Kids today will never understand how many ninjas there were in the 1980s.

Going viral on Snapchat:

“Got milk?” Buddy, I don’t even have self-esteem.

Just shared via Pinterest:

I regret to inform you that the secret to appearing well-read is to read.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

I took my kids to the zoo when they were small, I wonder how they are getting on now.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

God doesn’t do nearly enough smiting anymore.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I don’t like who I become when I’m watching someone Google something less efficiently than I would myself.

Going bananas on Threads:

Smart people are like huskies. If you don’t give them an interesting problem, they become an interesting problem.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Demi Lovato is short for demilitarized love potato.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

To everyone who wrote “stay cool” in my year book, I have some devastating news.

Crazy how people can merge perfectly at McDonald’s, but not on the highway.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Guess everyone’s just motivated by those fries! 🍟🚗😄

crazy, driving, highway, humor, McDonald’s, merge, observation, people, perfectly, traffic

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

You can learn a lot about a person by observing their every waking movement from a tree outside their house.

0

2 months ago

behavior, curiosity, every, house, humor, learn, lot, movement, observation, observing, outside, person, privacy, tree, waking
All my small talk is done with a car horn.

0

2 months ago

car, car horn, communication, done, driving, horn, humor, interaction, small, small talk, social, social interaction, talk
If you feel depressed, go for a run. You will soon find out your physical health is far worse than your mental health.

0

2 months ago

depressed, exercise, feel, health, humor, irony, mental, mental health, physical, physical health, run, self-awareness, soon, worse
At the beginning of a relationship, people call their partner’s odd behavior “cute little quirks”. Some years later, the police call it “motive”.

0

2 months ago

beginning, behavior, call, cute, cute quirk, humor, later, little, motive, odd, odd behavior, partners, people, police, quirk, quirks, relationship
I took your advice and worked smarter not harder. Now I’m going to need your advice on a good lawyer.

0

2 months ago

advice, going, good, harder, humor, i, lawyer, need, smarter, work
The breathing exercises from the birth preparation course are only needed once the child has reached puberty.

0

2 months ago

birth, birth preparation, breathing, breathing exercise, child, course, exercise, humor, once, parenting, preparation, puberty

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

13 shares on X this month:

My hair would never allow me to commit a crime. I really do leave my DNA everywhere.

31 shares on Twitch this month:

I’m so embarrassed by the paragraphs I used to send expressing my feelings.

81 shares on Threads this month:

Passwords are like underwear: You shouldn’t leave them out where people can see them, you should change them regularly, and you shouldn’t loan them out to strangers.

80 shares on Pinterest this month:

Have y’all tried calories? They’re so good.

57 shares on Instagram this month:

I took a pole and found that 100% of people in the tent were angry.

38 shares on YouTube this month:

The art of staying somewhat sane in an insane world.

39 shares on Snapchat this month:

If you have gray in your beard, you can hit it.

75 shares on YouTube this month:

Welcome to Twitter, where everyone is an expert on everything.

43 shares on Slack this month:

The only thing smart about you is your wisdom tooth.

60 shares on YouTube this month:

A big F*** YOU to people driving small cars and pulling deep into parking spaces so I think I have a spot until the last second.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

My dad wasn’t absent or present; he was a secret third thing.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

I love convincing myself iced coffee counts as hydration and self-care.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has downloaded:

Single for Christmas, but at least I won’t be buying presents for a liar.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

I don’t want flying cars, I want the ability to start again from my last save point.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

I miss the way I viewed the world before I found out too much about it.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

If I could be in two places at once, I’d be in bed twice.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

“Comparison is the thief of joy!” Well, not if you’re better than everyone else.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

Boys are disgusting. Can’t believe I like these things.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

Cleaning your kid’s room will piss you off, cause why is my Airfryer in here?

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

God creating the duck: waterproof that chicken and give it a kazoo.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Who develops the algorithm? I want to speak to the manager.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

“Do you like using Twitter?” Does Sisyphus like his boulder?

Going viral on Slack:

I’m just saying, no dog has ever ghosted me.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Pluck a single eyebrow hair in 1994, and it never grows back. Pluck a single chin hair today, and it’s back with five friends by 6 p.m.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I wonder if my guardian angel and my future husband’s guardian angel are in a group chat trying to coordinate.

Trending via YouTube:

Sorry, I ghosted you. I just felt like you were gonna ghost me, so I did it first.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Pomegranates are worth the mess.

Going bananas on YouTube:

I’m seriously considering adoption. Who wants me?

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I was waiting on the universe but the universe was actually waiting on me.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

My body is like an elastic band – no matter how I stretch it, it goes back to the nap position.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Crazy how people can merge perfectly at McDonald’s, but not on the highway.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

You can learn a lot about a person by observing their every waking movement from a tree outside their house.

All my small talk is done with a car horn.

If you feel depressed, go for a run. You will soon find out your physical health is far worse than your mental health.

At the beginning of a relationship, people call their partner’s odd behavior “cute little quirks”. Some years later, the police call it “motive”.

I took your advice and worked smarter not harder. Now I’m going to need your advice on a good lawyer.

The breathing exercises from the birth preparation course are only needed once the child has reached puberty.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨