Wordgag ใƒ„

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ณ has bookmarked:

Bacon should be free for anyone having a bad day.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ธ has bookmarked:

I taped a picture of my paycheck on my front door to keep all the solicitors away.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ฑ has copied:

We got the Christmas tree yesterday, and now my wife knows that I was the chief architect working on the leaning tower of Pisa.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡บ has bookmarked:

Nosferatu implies the existence of a Yesferatu.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ฑ has shared:

Why canโ€™t my career pursue me instead?

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‡ท has bookmarked:

Itโ€™s crazy that weโ€™re closer to the year 3000 then I am to finding love.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ฎ has copied:

The volume of my TV is 100% dependent on what I’m currently chewing on.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡น has shared:

I thought my friends in their 60s were making love in the other room but they were just putting on their socks.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ฟ has viewed:

Don’t throw hate at me, throw money!

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ท has viewed:

Gimme fuel, gimme fire, gimme casual attire.

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

831 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,993

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,993

Updated

4 hours ago

Users Online

3,443

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Going viral on Messenger:

Many people mistake me for an adult because of my age.

Spotted on Pinterest:

I hate when my cat runs into my bedroom and hisses at an empty chair, then runs back out again; and I then have to fall asleep holding a crucifix.

Just shared via WeChat:

Some people aren’t just missing a screw, the whole toolbox is gone.

Breaking via Facebook:

Anti-capitalism is just code for โ€œI don’t know how anything works.โ€

Freshly posted on Telegram:

‘Sex with your ex’ is so stupid. If you want to dwell on the past, you can just buy a history book.

Going viral on TikTok:

Thereโ€™s a disgusting pervert at the bar watching pornography over my shoulder.

Live now on X:

When I say Iโ€™m tired, the โ€œof peopleโ€ is silent.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

You don’t have to write every day to be a writer! You just have to feel guilty every day that you don’t.

Breaking via WeChat:

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did, in his sleep, not screaming, like the passengers in his car.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Do not EVER text while driving. Please use the giant iPad attached to your dashboard.

Deleting dating apps because I want to meet someone the old fashioned way (he and his donkey rescue me from a tower guarded by a dragon).

Deleting dating apps because I want to meet someone the old fashioned way (he and his donkey rescue me from a tower guarded by a dragon).
Download image โ†“

Commentary:
"Taking a break from swiping left and right to await my knight in shining armor…or perhaps just a humble farmer with a trusty donkey ๐Ÿด๐Ÿ‰ #MedievalLoveStory #NoMoreSwipeLife"

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Welcome to Wordgag! ๐Ÿ˜‰โœŒ๏ธ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ’ฅ

Trending Funny Quotes ๐Ÿ“ˆ

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm sleep social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

831 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,993

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,993

Updated

4 hours ago

Users Online

3,434

Funny Quotes of the Month ๐Ÿš€

Funny Quotes of the Year โญ

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ซ has viewed:

Naked and Afraid because thereโ€™s a spider in the shower with me.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ฌ has copied:

Whoever coined, โ€œNo good deed goes unpunishedโ€, must have fed some seagulls.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡บ has copied:

Exercise won’t cure your depression, but it can make you hotter than your enemies.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡น has copied:

If cats could send Christmas cards, they wouldn’t.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ง has bookmarked:

It is not without reason that all telescopes searching for intelligent life are pointed away from Earth.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฟ๐Ÿ‡ฒ has shared:

A person becomes 10 times more attractive not by their looks but by photoshop.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ช has copied:

My retirement plan is time travel to the 80s.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ฒ has downloaded:

I finally became a butterfly, and everyone’s already asking what’s next.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐Ÿ‡ฎ has shared:

Spiraling out of control if anyone wants anything.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ฟ has downloaded:

If God had known what mankind would turn into, he would have sterilized Adam.

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Seen just now on Threads:

I like listening to true crime podcasts while I clean my bathroom because I can pretend Iโ€™m destroying evidence.

Reported on Twitch:

If the shampoo and the conditioner finish at the same time, one of them faked it.

Spotted on TikTok:

I want a chiropractor to crack my entire body like a glow stick.

Shared recently on Telegram:

โ€œThis would be better if there was cakeโ€ really does ring true in any situation.

Live now on Snapchat:

Why do they have to make things childproof when Iโ€™m still functioning at a kindergarten level of dexterity?

Just shared via Facebook:

I tell my kids winning isnโ€™t everything and then I steal money from the monopoly bank.

Just landed via Snapchat:

There are three certainties in life: death, taxes and getting stuck behind a shit driver when you’re late.

Going viral on Messenger:

Where have you been all of my life and can you please go back there?

Just landed via TikTok:

Floating on a rock in space, but yeah – 9 to 5 sounds reasonable.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Basketballโ€™s all like “gimme that pumpkin, I need it” and golf is all like “***k this egg, imma hit it into the sun”

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ยฉ 2025. All fights retarded. ๐Ÿคช

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