Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

You never know how strong you are until someone’s story runs more than 5 minutes long.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

Being liked at work comes with so many perks, you could be late as hell, and everyone is just happy to see you.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

Just remembered why I went upstairs yesterday.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has bookmarked:

Had to sit with a straight face while my landlord told me I was paying his rent and mortgage for him.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

I’m pretty sure emojis were invented so introverts don’t have to say anything to anyone.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

Bringing a fitted sheet to a knife fight.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

Social media can teach you a lot of lessons. Grammar is not one of them.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

Boss: Why do I have to always come and find you? Me: Because a good employee is hard to find.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

Lord of the Rings is wild cause Gandalf told Frodo he had to go on a super dangerous journey and Frodo was like “Ok, can I bring my gardener?”

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

I hate world events. I have problems of my own to worry about.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,592

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Slack:

I drive home so quick after work like I’m late for the house.

Just landed via Messenger:

I love how all the movies about teenagers have to be set in the 90s or earlier otherwise we’d just be watching kids on their phones for two hours.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I don’t understand people who do things on weekends. You just did things all week. What’s next, more things? That’s how they get you.

Just shared via YouTube:

Sorry I was late, I was disassociating in the shower.

Spotted on Facebook:

Pluck a single eyebrow hair in 1994, and it never grows back. Pluck a single chin hair today, and it’s back with five friends by 6 p.m.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Unfortunately, I have the paper towel habit of a much wealthier man.

Making waves on WeChat:

They say “Time heals.” No, it doesn’t. I’m still mad.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

One thing I expect that we will learn from the vibe coding era is that most ‘idea guys’ don’t actually have very good ideas.

Making waves on Reddit:

It’s wild that “Jason” is a name from ancient Greece, because it sounds like it was invented in Florida in 1983.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Your hoodie strings are uneven. Go home and get your shit together!

Do you think birds, once they get older, start people-watching?

2 months ago

Funny Quotes

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Absolutely! I bet they critique our flying skills too! 🐦👀😂"

aging, animals, birds, humor, observation, older, once, people-watching, start, think

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

19 shares on Threads this month:

The lion does not concern himself at all. The lion is depressed.

42 shares on TikTok this month:

You can have kids or you can always know where your scissors are. You can’t have both.

15 shares on WeChat this month:

Diet Coke so crisp I moaned.

79 shares on Threads this month:

Adulting is making a phone call, even though you don’t want to.

83 shares on Reddit this month:

Born to be quiet and mysterious, forced to yap whenever I get the chance.

52 shares on Snapchat this month:

Expiration date? More like spoiler alert.

42 shares on Messenger this month:

The bank just called and gave me the biggest compliment, said my balance is outstanding. I really needed that today.

73 shares on Threads this month:

Women are like apples; I like biting them.

27 shares on Discord this month:

The real body count is how many people are in therapy because of you.

59 shares on Messenger this month:

My therapist is fluffy and walks on four paws.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

I bet the guy who named the sperm whale wasn’t allowed to name things anymore after that.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

If the earth was flat, cats would have pushed everything off it by now.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has bookmarked:

When is someone actually going to change the surprise in the avocado? This hard core is kind of a stupid toy.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

The female brain works like the internet. You can delete something, but it’s never really gone.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

There are drug-sniffing dogs, guide dogs, dogs that save lives. And then there’s my dog, who hits the lead when he poops.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

Nothing makes me more stabby than when my husband ignores me and starts talking to the dog.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

The secret ingredient to being really funny is childhood trauma.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

Dropped my skinny boyfriend between the bed and the wall like a vape or a TV remote.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

How did they get kids to pose for oil paintings? Mine won’t sit still for 4 seconds for a family photo.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has downloaded:

The rain is pouring. So naturally it’s a good day to eat 6 donuts.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Instagram:

I know I seem a little crazy sometimes, but that’s because I AM.

Trending via Twitch:

Me (seductively looking at a potato): would mash.

Spotted on Threads:

The only thing I don’t miss about the 90s is people smelling like cigarettes.

Shared recently on YouTube:

I grew up with six brothers. That’s how I learned to dance: waiting for the bathroom.

Going bananas on Slack:

Voice messages. Just call, goddamnit!

Going viral on Reddit:

Stop expecting people to be as cool as you, it’s a recipe for disappointment.

Just shared via WeChat:

“Is this a joke to you?” Unfortunately, everything is a little bit of a joke to me.

Going viral on Snapchat:

You should be able to mute someone in real life. Annoying coworker? Silence them for 24 hours by booping them on the nose!

Live now on Twitch:

My kids will never appreciate the amount of extroverting the introvert me does for them.

Seen just now on Threads:

If I had The Force, I’d just use it to open pistachios.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Do you think birds, once they get older, start people-watching?

Hannibal Lecter didn’t have to be a serial killer, he was scary enough as a foodie.

I got confused by all the yard signs, and I think I may have voted for a realtor.

The gap in my resume? Yeah, it’s called playing outside.

I’m delusional but self-aware, I call that Delaware.

I worry a lot about the wild animals in my neighborhood, but I’m beginning to think they don’t worry about me.

Screen time on your computer feels like healthy screen time, screen time on your phone feels like evil screen time.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Do you think birds, once they get older, start people-watching?

Keep the laugh going 😂

Hannibal Lecter didn’t have to be a serial killer, he was scary enough as a foodie.

I got confused by all the yard signs, and I think I may have voted for a realtor.

The gap in my resume? Yeah, it’s called playing outside.

I’m delusional but self-aware, I call that Delaware.

I worry a lot about the wild animals in my neighborhood, but I’m beginning to think they don’t worry about me.

Screen time on your computer feels like healthy screen time, screen time on your phone feels like evil screen time.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨