Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

Making dinner with my left hand, so it feels like someone else is doing it.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

Gosh, being a princess is exhausting.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

Probably the most empowered I’ve ever felt was that time I stuck a fork in a socket.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

They should make statues of regular people, like you’re walking through the park and there’s a statue of your friend Jeff.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

Is this simulation from Temu?

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

It’s only 9am and I’ve already ruined my son’s entire life by giving him the banana with the brown spot on it.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

This call, should’ve been a message in a bottle I never found.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has downloaded:

You can just comment, “You two look nice,” on a photo of three people. It’s free and legal.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has viewed:

Why are they called “grammar Nazis” and not “the Gestypo”?

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

Signed an Executive Order that you have to give me a little forehead kiss.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,552

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Threads:

Out of sheer boredom, I opened the front door and rang the doorbell. I was so happy.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Yes, I’m full of microplastics, but it’s actually been helpful. It’s given me superpowers. I can communicate with Tupperware.

Going bananas on YouTube:

I’m obsessed with adding a second completely unnecessary tweet to all my tweets, like, oh, you thought I was done.

Making waves on Snapchat:

I assume my soulmate has sold his soul to the devil.

Making waves on WeChat:

What electric cars and diarrhea have in common is the fear of not making it home.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Unfortunately, when you don’t burden people with your problems, they assume you don’t have any. Lol.

Going viral on Discord:

I’m at the age where I understand that paying a little extra for convenience and comfort is absolutely okay.

Shared recently on Facebook:

We can’t use nicknames at work anymore, and I blame Teletubby.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Know what goes good with beer? Another one.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Where do cicadas go when they’re not screaming? I’d like to go there and scream.

Do you think Yoda says “7-6” instead?

Witty joke about Yoda's possible sports score, humorous and playful text.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
When Yoda plays tennis, I bet he serves up some serious "force" aces! 🎾🥋

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

28 shares on WhatsApp this month:

In an alternate universe, sex dreams of me.

17 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Can’t believe we stayed up and screamed “Happy New Year” for this shit.

18 shares on Slack this month:

Candy companies will look you straight in the eye and lie about how they know what a banana tastes like.

99 shares on Instagram this month:

Dear men, my ‘biological clock’ isn’t my weakness. It’s your final deadline to prove you’re worthy.

44 shares on Slack this month:

Life on other planets be like: “I hope those lunatics don’t discover us!”

10 shares on WeChat this month:

69. Some might call it nasty. I call it a romantic dinner for 2.

88 shares on Twitch this month:

Regrettably, my children appear to have befriended a child I find annoying.

60 shares on Threads this month:

As you get older you become all of the seven dwarfs.

36 shares on Reddit this month:

Only 6 hours, 45 minutes and 35 years until I’m done with work.

95 shares on Instagram this month:

Do you remember when you looked through binoculars upside down and everyone was really far away? That was nice.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Applying for jobs feels like auditioning to be enthusiastic about a blind date you haven’t even met yet.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

She’s a 10, but she says ‘Orwellian’ when it’s clearly ‘Kafkaesque”.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

My gf doesn’t really like it when I talk about my ex, which means I now have a lot of stories from college where I’m just alone for some reason.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Wild Friday night, and by wild, I mean me and the other psychopaths at the gym.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m so jealous of people who know how to shut up. I shut up, and subtitles come out my face.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes somebody will share something from way back in my timeline, and I’ll think, “Oh God, what all did they see to get there?”

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Women in movies look so beautiful when they sleep. Meanwhile, I’m tossing and turning all night like a forgotten 7-Eleven hot dog.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I want a girlfriend so hot that people walking down the street know that I am funny.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

My diet was going really well until I woke up.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t argue with idiots on the Internet, I just keep scrolling and mind my own business.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,479

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

If sex was strictly meant for procreation, why did God make it feel so good?

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

A toddler can do more in one unsupervised minute than most people can do all day.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has shared:

My child had pancakes and syrup for breakfast so I guess I’ll be sticking to my furniture for the next week.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

Prime Video will find the movie you were looking for and then say, “Oops, you gotta pay for it.”

Someone from 🇸🇧 has copied:

The first time I saw a kiwi I thought it’s a potato with fur.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

At least 80% of my day is spent holding back my inappropriate thoughts.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

You either get a kid who eats like a bottomless pit, or you get one that when asked what they want for lunch answers “No thanks, I had lunch yesterday.”

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

And to my children I leave my collection of tote bags and gift bags.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has viewed:

I love when my Uber driver and I both shut the hell up for a full ride.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

“You’re such a stalker!” God forbid a woman wants to know more about her future husband.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on WhatsApp:

Just saw someone my age running and she wasn’t chasing an ice-cream truck.

Seen just now on Discord:

If you are hotter than me, it means I’m cooler than you.

Spotted on Reddit:

When Dr. Seuss wrote, “Oh, The Places You’ll Go,” he did not consider how comfortable my couch would be.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

I don’t even get disappointed anymore. I’m just like, “Oh, again? Okay.”

Just shared via LinkedIn:

November moving quicker than two lesbians who met three days ago.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

Just gonna drink light beers today, because I don’t wanna get drunk but I do enjoy peeing 30 times.

Breaking via Discord:

Long shower. Fresh sheets. Hair braided. Lights off. Candle glowing. Room smells incredible. Airplane crash videos on.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

The only way I’m gonna hit the gym is if I accidentally drive into it.

Live now on Slack:

I may join the cicadas this summer and just scream for six weeks straight.

Just landed via TikTok:

Life is too short, and death is too long.

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