Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

One of the great things about being a dad is how easy it is to launder my own desire for ice cream through my children.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has viewed:

They should invent a weekend that goes by slowly.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has copied:

Sailors wish they could swear like me.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

Born to hate people. Somehow ended up in customer service.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

Someone from Facebook Marketplace is coming over to either buy the chairs I have for sale, or to murder me.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

They should build a separate grocery store for people who have actually purchased food before, know how to push a cart, and possess at least an ounce of spatial awareness.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

It took three employees to help me complete “self-checkout” yesterday.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

Selfish people are my favorite because you never have to guess their motives.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

I will not accept a hint. I will act dumb until you say it clearly to me.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

As president, I will allow people to use the same password as before when changing their password.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

241 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,510

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,510

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,350

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Slack:

Not to brag, but I can shake your hand and forget your name simultaneously.

Trending via Pinterest:

Updating my resume. Anyone got a more professional word for “dumpster fire”?

Breaking via Snapchat:

Life is just resetting your password until you die.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

What a time to be alive! (Derogatory)

Freshly posted on Slack:

Dear Santa, Money!

Just landed via YouTube:

Serious replies to silly posts are now illegal. Go talk to your wife.

Just shared via X:

Have come to the devastating realization that I am an over-nodder on video calls.

Trending via TikTok:

Don’t know how to explain this, but “hot honey” is the pickleball of condiments (derogatory).

Freshly posted on Reddit:

The most dangerous part of your 50s is those first few steps after prolonged sitting.

Going bananas on Slack:

Nature just builds 30 foot trees. Without even pulling a permit.

Dog barking like an angry baby, baby crying like an angry dog.

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Dog barking like an angry baby, baby crying like an angry dog.
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Commentary:
Sounds like quite the noisy confusion! 🐶👶🏻🐶👶🏻 Maybe the dog wants to join in on the crying session or the baby is auditioning for the role of lead singer in the dog choir! 🎶🤔 Just another day in the animal kingdom where the lines between species get a bit blurry! 😄

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

68 shares on Discord this month:

I’m at an age where I don’t have to go anywhere and I still have jet lag.

24 shares on WeChat this month:

No, it’s fine. I watched some cartoons and now I feel a little more at ease with your stupidness.

88 shares on YouTube this month:

If you get cremated after you die, you can be put into an hourglass and still participate in family game nights.

87 shares on Discord this month:

British people be like “It’s Chewsday, innit?”

24 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The worst part about re-watching Home Alone is you just know Kevin’s parents bought this house for like $250K.

72 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I can’t stand people who require so much validation. Please like and share this if you agree.

76 shares on Discord this month:

I’m writing a book. I’ve got the page numbers done.

62 shares on Twitch this month:

I hate it when I’m singing a song and the artist gets the words wrong.

31 shares on Messenger this month:

Looking forward to eight hours of trying to get four hours of sleep tonight.

64 shares on Snapchat this month:

Being gracefully insane is the secret to staying somewhat sane in an insane world.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

7 folks are currently checking 👀

You want me to turn around? The thing that led to a total eclipse of the heart.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I used to think that the older you get, the wiser and more self-confident you become. I now know that you just get tired more quickly.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Her heart is a combination of wildflowers and wildfires, delicate, yet so fierce.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Carrots are a great thing to eat when you’re hungry, and want to stay that way.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Hawk o the mornin tuah

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Running from your problems is cardio.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

If you want to impress me with your car, it should be an ice cream van.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve finally found out what chronology is. And it’s about time.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Animals be 15 minutes old and already know what to do.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

“I’m not ordering fries, I’ll just eat some of yours!” -Former friends of mine

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

241 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,510

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,510

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,550

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

I’m not always annoying, sometimes I sleep too.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

I lied, there is no sex. You’re helping me repot plants.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

I went to a mind reader. She almost went mad.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

Genuinely, why does the logo of every AI chatbot look like a butthole?

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

We need to stop telling AI that it’s paintings are bad. That’s how Hitler got started.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

People who say that they don’t have time for my bullshit should wake up an hour earlier.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

When you report something to IT and then hear: “Oh! Interesting. We’ve never seen that before.” Is that good or bad?

Someone from 🇿🇦 has viewed:

They’re selling me on Temu tomorrow.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

Doing an hour of self-care after 23 hours of self-destruction.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

When fireworks were invented, it was ‘hisssss’ to ‘wheeeee’ in the making.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Slack:

Controlling your anger at work is a job in itself.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Sorry I’m late, I was fighting for my right to party.

Spotted on WeChat:

The date didn’t go well but she was nice enough to send a PDF of everything I did wrong afterwards.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Don’t worry, you’ll find the lost scissors when you’ll be searching for your glasses.

Spotted on Slack:

The worst part about borrowing money is having to pay it back or move to a new city.

Spotted on YouTube:

Wish I could get paid just for being a sweetheart.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

I love the smell of someone burning their last bridge with me.

Just landed via Discord:

As a proud husband and father in my 40s, my New Year’s resolution is to sneeze even louder this year.

Making waves on WeChat:

People just don’t stop, collaborate, and listen like they used to.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

My wife just pulled me into the other room, and I thought she wanted to have a serious talk, but she just wanted to give me M&M’s without the kids seeing.

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