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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

Petition to add fitted sheet folding to the olympics.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

The money I made gradually, you need urgently?

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

Dogs naturally form packs, and if left undisturbed, will teach themselves how to play poker.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

Learning to be Alpha from YouTube.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

Never underestimate my ability to fall asleep in a moving vehicle.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

Everyone’s a gangster until it’s time to pronounce Worcestershire Sauce.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has shared:

I need a button in Zoom meetings where it just freezes my screen and makes it look like I’m having network issues.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has copied:

A tip for your next salary negotiation: simply tell your boss “either I get a pay rise or I go out and tell everyone I got one!”

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

Dating apps aren’t working. I’ll see ya at Home Depot, gentlemen.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

The problem with expensive things is that you tend to want them.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,382

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on YouTube:

If I ever had to fight a bear, I hope it’s a gummy bear.

Just shared via WeChat:

If you have an opinion about my life, please raise your hand. Now put it over your mouth.

Making waves on Telegram:

Taking Adderall to use the calculator app.

Just shared via WeChat:

I just learned the professional way to say “I told you so”: “This was identified early on as a likely outcome.”

Making waves on X:

Sunday without HBO feels like a meal without carbs — empty and deeply wrong.

Just landed via Twitch:

You don’t have to write every day to be a writer! You just have to feel guilty every day that you don’t.

Spotted on X:

Never go to bed angry. Stay up and finish the argument like an adult.

Shared recently on Telegram:

There comes a time in everyone’s life when you hear the newest slang, and you decide that you don’t care enough to know what it means.

Just shared via Telegram:

Salted, and I cannot stress this enough, butter.

Trending via Pinterest:

If you don’t realize that you’re a werewolf, then you’re actually an unawarewolf.

Dog barking like an angry baby, baby crying like an angry dog.

2 weeks ago

Humorous text contrasting a barking dog and crying baby in a playful way.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like quite the noisy confusion! 🐶👶🏻🐶👶🏻 Maybe the dog wants to join in on the crying session or the baby is auditioning for the role of lead singer in the dog choir! 🎶🤔 Just another day in the animal kingdom where the lines between species get a bit blurry! 😄

angry, baby, barking, crying, dog, humor, noise, pet, sound

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

12 shares on YouTube this month:

Y’all ever postpone an outfit? Like, nah, let me save this for a better day? Same.

72 shares on YouTube this month:

Biting your tongue while eating is a perfect example of how you can still screw up, even with decades of experience.

76 shares on Slack this month:

“Stalking”. God forbid I have access to public information and know how to utilize my resources.

74 shares on Telegram this month:

Forgot how fun it is to post IG stories. I feel like a female filmmaker.

14 shares on Pinterest this month:

Serious replies to silly posts are now illegal. Go talk to your wife.

53 shares on Threads this month:

Hey there, Delilah, what’s it like in new orc city?

99 shares on WhatsApp this month:

You know where I’d like to go? Missing.

71 shares on Instagram this month:

And is this “year-end bonus” in the room with us right now?

10 shares on X this month:

I realized being an adult is just feeling too tired to function, and then functioning.

74 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My son was praying for “everybody in the world.” If you suddenly start experiencing good fortune, you’re welcome.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I highly recommend getting yourself a “How can I help” partner and not a “You will be fine” partner.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

You can’t spell fries without friends. I guess what I’m saying is that fries are friends. Delicious friends.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Wow, you have a very impressive collection of strange tendencies.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Like most people my age, I’m 50.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I am not someone you have to host if you invite me, because I will have canceled.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

The feminine urge to be the most feared witch in the village.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

My dad wasn’t absent or present; he was a secret third thing.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

If I win the lottery, no one around me will be broke, and I truly mean that. I will move to a wealthy neighborhood.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

It is so weird that every single one of us is going to die, and we are not nicer to each other.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Welcome to adulthood: your chin looks lonely, here’s another one.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,453

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

Later is the best time to do anything.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

I have a question and my question is, how can I look so cute in the mirror but like such a baked potato in pictures?

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

I really wish people would stop thinking they need to speak to me in the mornings.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

I get tired from just thinking of everything I have to do.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

Men will ruin your whole life and come back and like your Instagram story.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

If these walls could talk, they would definitely say “Wow, this guy really does add cheese to everything after all!”

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

I don’t remember if I was 43 or 44 before my birthday, so now I don’t know if I’m 44 or 45. That’s your 40’s.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

I have never “lit up a room” unless you count arson.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

I see from the back of your car that you have found Jesus, but not your turn signal.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

I, unfortunately, was born without any interest in Avatar.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Pinterest:

Fun Fact: Dove chocolate tastes way better than their soap.

Going bananas on X:

I have now spread out a blue tarpaulin in the garden. I want it to look like I have a pool on Google Maps.

Making waves on Messenger:

If you know karate, you shouldn’t have to pay for stuff.

Trending via Threads:

My Saturday was going really well, until I realized it’s Sunday!

Seen just now on Instagram:

It’s almost time to pack away the black summer clothes and unpack the black winter clothes.

Live now on LinkedIn:

Is everything expensive or am I just poor?

Seen just now on YouTube:

I’m fighting for free speech. Mine, not yours, so be quiet.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

On my phone, you’ll never see contacts saved as ‘babe’ or ‘love.’ I save full names—first and last—like a government office.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Laziness is the art to rest before one gets tired.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I would only enjoy the Met Gala if at the end of that runway they all walked into a volcano.

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