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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

Imagine Pinocchio roasting you for 5 mins straight and his nose didn’t move an inch.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

When I say “I hate drama”, I mean I hate being involved in drama. Other people’s drama? Big fan!

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

“In a galaxy far, far away” is starting to sound quite enticing.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

Prepare your kids for social media by putting their artwork on the fridge and writing a bunch of mean comments under it.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

What song lyric resonates with you the most? Mine is “we’re tiny, we’re toony, we’re all a little loony”

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

People who live in glass houses shouldn’t change clothes.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

Nobody shoots annoying people into the sun anymore and that’s why there are so many of them left on earth.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

No more bare minimum, I want the moon and the stars. Maybe even a planet at this point.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

At least I can say I tried. I didn’t try, but I can say I did.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

Boy, did The Shining nail what it’s like being an only child.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,242

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Nothing betrays your age more than the slang you refuse to let go of.

Spotted on Pinterest:

I love when women move on. It’s my favourite genre.

Going viral on X:

A wise man once said, “Bees don’t waste their time explaining to flies that honey is better than shit.”

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Hey boy, are you my washing machine? Because neither of you know how long 10 minutes last.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Adulthood means trying to convince yourself that the font is just too small and that it isn’t your eyesight going bad.

Spotted on Telegram:

I’m in a comfy dress today, but I look like a potato in floral. Call me Nelly Flortato.

Trending via Discord:

Why does it take 5-7 business days to refund my money when it took 5-7 seconds to take it out of my account?

Going viral on Telegram:

I need to stop drinking so much. Did I say drinking? I meant thinking. I definitely need to drink more.

Going bananas on Instagram:

I’m not sure how long my body can handle this “getting out of bed early in the morning” nonsense.

Shared recently on Twitch:

When I retire, I’m going to run for office.

Don’t forget, you are someone’s weird colleague.

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Don’t forget, you are someone’s weird colleague.
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Commentary:
🤪 Don't worry if you feel a bit odd at work – remember, someone out there probably thinks you're their quirky coworker! Embrace your uniqueness, because let's face it, normal is overrated anyway! 🤣 #WeirdAndProud #OfficeAntics

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

73 shares on Reddit this month:

I wonder how long you could drive in a roundabout before a cop would be like, hey, you can’t do that anymore.

84 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror this morning, so I guess once again my personality will be doing all the work today.

85 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Dad Hack: Get your teen’s attention instantly by pre-heating the oven.

23 shares on X this month:

Of course I do cardio. It’s called running from my problems.

76 shares on Slack this month:

Sometimes when I get negative feedback I’m like “Hey, only I get to talk to myself that way”.

12 shares on Telegram this month:

Coffee is just goth water.

10 shares on Telegram this month:

Never underestimate the healing power of not watching the news.

28 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Due to personal reasons, I won’t be dropping it like it’s hot anymore.

30 shares on Instagram this month:

Going to a wedding really reminds me of the important things in life. Like cake.

55 shares on Instagram this month:

Dear predictive text, I am tired of sending people “Thanksgiving” when they send me a recipe or directions.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

14 folks are currently checking 👀

When you report something to IT and then hear: “Oh! Interesting. We’ve never seen that before.” Is that good or bad?

10 folks are currently checking 👀

A really good magician could be living in your house and you would never know.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Everyone is posting their vacation pictures and I’m like… I went shopping.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

People would be more motivated to lose weight if the weight they lost went on to someone they didn’t like.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

The only narcissist I allow in my life is my cat.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

To be blocked is to be seen and to be seen is to be loved.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I have lived way too many lives for people to think they know everything about me.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

“Angry on the internet” is such an unfortunate personality.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Please don’t buy my book on reverse psychology.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

If you burned CDs for the car so your original copies wouldn’t get scratched, it’s time to schedule your colonoscopy.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,720

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

Money saved by using public transport instead of an Uber is paid for with your time and mental health instead.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

People often mistake me for an adult because of my age.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

Do clouds ever look down on us and say, “This one is shaped like an idiot”?

Someone from 🇲🇻 has copied:

Non-alcoholic beer is like a vibrator without batteries: it fills you up nicely but without the buzz…

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

The most important thing I learned in life, and I can’t stress enough, it doesn’t matter where you went to college. The only thing that matters is that you’re really hot.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

When buying presents I like to think, what would Jesus have got you? So yeah, enjoy your fish sandwich.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

If I like cleaning? Does Sisyphus like his boulder?

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

I typed my name into Google’s search bar and it immediately auto-filled to “Doesn’t even listen to instructions” before crashing under the weight of disappointed search results.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

Gimme fuel, gimme fire, gimme casual attire.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

A toddler in their “why” phase makes you realize how little you know.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WeChat:

Don’t you hate it when you lose things? Like the motivation to do anything.

Breaking via Facebook:

Laundry has to be the most sinister chore. Always waiting, always lurking.

Seen just now on Discord:

Imagine being in the Trojan horse with the lads, pure darkness and giggling like hehehe

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

I’m starting to think the voice in my head doesn’t like me very much.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Congrats to my tween for graduating at the top of his class from eye roll university.

Making waves on Slack:

Dance like nobody’s watching, except God, the NSA, and Santa Claus.

Going bananas on X:

The best part about being married is having a permanent person to debrief with immediately after any social event.

Live now on Messenger:

She wanted me to impress her in the bedroom, so I showed her my organized sock drawer and my fresh matching bedding.

Freshly posted on X:

You ran a half marathon? That’s really cool, I’ve almost finished a bunch of things, too.

Just landed via Instagram:

Due to intense brain fog all of my thoughts have been grounded until further notice.

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