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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

I really don’t get enough praise for someone who doesn’t need validation from others.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

Clearing her mind with a brisk walk along the foggy shoreline.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

Getting your hair washed by someone else is one of life’s greatest joys no one really speaks about often.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

And is this “year-end bonus” in the room with us right now?

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

I think carefully about what I’m going to say and I still manage to say the wrong thing. It’s truly a gift I have.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

I’ve already sent Santa a short letter this week to say hello. Not that he thinks I only get in touch if I want something.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

Don’t you hate it when you lose things? Like the motivation to do anything.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has bookmarked:

Hi, I’m online. Would you like to argue for an hour about whether a hotdog is a sandwich?

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

Anybody else not stopped farting this evening? Asking for a friend.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

50 is the new 30. Because it takes 50 bucks to buy what 30 used to.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

676 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,709

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on YouTube:

Called in, “Taking a gap year.”

Freshly posted on Reddit:

My doubters will become my grouters when I remodel the bathroom of success.

Going viral on YouTube:

You can fake a smile, but you can’t fake jazz hands.

Breaking via YouTube:

No, you tell me what YOU were doing during that gap in my resume.

Just shared via Telegram:

I hate it when my body decides to get sick. I gave you a vegetable last week, how dare you.

Going viral on Instagram:

Guys have good pics on their dating profiles because their ex took them.

Going viral on Messenger:

A big F*** YOU to people driving small cars and pulling deep into parking spaces so I think I have a spot until the last second.

Seen just now on Threads:

The only way to forget the mistakes you made in the past is to make even bigger and graver mistakes in the present.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Does running away from my problems count as cardio?

Trending via Facebook:

After all these years, Jude Law has finally noticed me and responded to my love letters. Something about staying 500 feet away. I’m getting it framed.

Don’t get horny around me; I’m an empath.

2 hours ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When your sixth sense is more like a sixth sense of humor 😂🔮 #EmpathLife

around, emotion, empath, feelings, horny, humor, me

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My soul leaving my body when the lecturer says “let’s hear from someone who hasn’t spoken yet”

0

2 months ago

anxiety, body, class, hear, humor, leaving, lecturer, someone, soul, spoken
Good morning to everyone except people that talk to the cashier about their entire day.

0

2 months ago

behavior, cashier, day, everyone, except, good, humor, morning, people, social, social behavior, talk
Wild Friday night, and by wild, I mean me and the other psychopaths at the gym.

0

2 weeks ago

Friday, Friday night, gym, humor, i, me, mean, night, psychopath, wild, wild night, workout
They should invent a rest for the wicked.

0

2 months ago

humor, invention, irony, relaxation, rest, should, wicked
Even Hotmail is hotter than me.

0

2 months ago

comparison, confidence, Hotmail, hotter, humor, internet, irony, me, personality, self-deprecation
My husband was unable to find his coat earlier as he’d accidentally hung it up.

0

2 months ago

accident, clothes, coat, hang, humor, husband, relationship

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

13 shares on TikTok this month:

Welcome to your 40s—you run out of breath trying to find your running shoes.

22 shares on Instagram this month:

If you apply enough sunscreen, the rain simply rolls off.

70 shares on TikTok this month:

If you’re happy and you know it, keep it to yourself. No one likes a braggart.

93 shares on WeChat this month:

Never trust a man that’s good at flirting. He’s had too much practice.

69 shares on Threads this month:

If you can’t beat them, arrange to have them beaten.

11 shares on Messenger this month:

Not sure if “life hack” exactly, but I fell down the stairs and now my whole family is being so nice and catering to my needs.

65 shares on Instagram this month:

I swear some songs have background noises of your mum shouting your name from downstairs.

20 shares on Telegram this month:

Lost my Thesaurus. Gutted. Really gutted. Like absolutely gutted.

60 shares on Snapchat this month:

Just pulled a Werther’s Original out of my pocket, like I’m 87 years old.

49 shares on X this month:

I bet doom scroll meant something way cooler in the middle ages.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

My running speed is very slow because the Discman wasn’t allowed to shake in the past.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

I’ve jogged with my jogging pants about as often as I’ve rolled through the kitchen with kitchen roll.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

90% of the ocean is unexplored, which means there could be a McDonald’s down there.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

It seems a little unfair that the people who want to go to bed have to put the people to bed who don’t want to go to bed.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

Fake laughing at work is mentally exhausting. Please just leave me alone.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

How lazy are you?” I greet people by raising my eyebrows.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

Awesome that January is over, but rude that our reward for getting through it is February.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

Life is so dull when you don’t have someone to flirt with.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has copied:

My phone went from fully charged to 10% while I was sleeping, so I guess it leads a more exciting nightlife than I do.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

Does anyone else stare at the dead body in movies to see if you can catch them breathing?

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I miss when 1K was a lot of money.

Going viral on WeChat:

If a ham is allowed to spiral then so am I.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

I’m trying to be awesome today, but I’m too exhausted from being so awesome yesterday.

Just landed via Messenger:

Obviously, I’m gonna upload pictures with filters and in my best angles. If you wanna see the ugly side of me, come to my house, but bring ice cream.

Just shared via YouTube:

If you want to feel really bad about yourself, just start dating.

Making waves on Twitch:

Ignored the small door that appeared in my apartment three days ago, and now it’s gone. That’s how it’s done.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

So tired of looking in my wallet and not finding $10,000

Going viral on Twitch:

On Halloween, I’ll be handing out full size bars of really bad advice. Only while supplies last.

Freshly posted on Threads:

I’m at the gym and I just saw someone put their water bottle in the Pringles holder on the treadmill.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Don’t get horny around me; I’m an empath.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

My soul leaving my body when the lecturer says “let’s hear from someone who hasn’t spoken yet”

Good morning to everyone except people that talk to the cashier about their entire day.

Wild Friday night, and by wild, I mean me and the other psychopaths at the gym.

They should invent a rest for the wicked.

Even Hotmail is hotter than me.

My husband was unable to find his coat earlier as he’d accidentally hung it up.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨