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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇾 has shared:

Does the HDMI cord have the most dominant run of any cord ever?

Someone from 🇦🇹 has bookmarked:

Stop being so boyfriendable if you can’t be my boyfriend.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

Do you guys remember when we had to share one desktop computer wіth the whole famіly?

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

Establish dominance by eating a salad in front of your indoor plants.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

Nothing more humiliating than sending a text message with a picture and the picture doesn’t send for ages and now you’ve said something sooo odd out of context.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

Contrary to what we currently believe, we don’t choose afternoon naps. Afternoon naps choose us.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

Cooking your own meals really is the best way to devote 50 hours of your life every month to save $50.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

I think my leftovers are old enough to throw themselves away.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

Don’t invite me anywhere in the last minute. I enjoy doing nothing, so I need to know ahead of time if my plan to do nothing needs to be changed.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

My favorite recipe is the one where I pick up the phone and order food.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,656

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Threads:

This going into the office stuff blows. Like, I seriously have to wear clothes now.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Who called them sea lions and not soggy doggies?

Making waves on YouTube:

The sexual tension between me and vanishing without context is insane.

Live now on TikTok:

When I was a child, my social network was called ‘outside’.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

When the Beatles say, “Come together, right now, over me,” what was that about? Why did they say that?

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I hate when teachers put “?” on my work, like I don’t know either.

Making waves on Telegram:

So annoying that in order to meet new people you need to go out and meet new people. Ideally, I would have known you in a past life.

Seen just now on Twitch:

The sexual tension between me and a late afternoon coffee to get me through the workday.

Just shared via Threads:

Save money by accidentally forgetting your wallet at home. Follow me for more financial tips and tricks.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

My five-year plan is to just see what happens.

Don’t listen to them, little password. You are strong.

0
Don’t listen to them, little password. You are strong.
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Commentary:
"Shh, don't be swayed by those pesky hackers, dear password! 💪🔒 Remember, you're stronger than a cup of coffee on a Monday morning! ☕️😄"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

76 shares on Telegram this month:

Kinda messed up that the government knows my birthday but never sends me a gift or anything.

68 shares on Reddit this month:

If she forgives you, then 30 minutes later comes back mad again: that means she told her friends in her group chat, and the board of directors did not agree.

22 shares on Slack this month:

I was very disappointed when I found out drinking alcohol doesn’t actually kill brain cells, I was hoping to join a political party one day.

88 shares on TikTok this month:

My family asked me what I wanted for Mother’s Day, so I packed their bags and changed the locks.

12 shares on Reddit this month:

The question I ask myself most often is, “What would a jury think about this?”

71 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The science between bragging about a man and him disappointing you immediately after needs to be studied.

65 shares on Discord this month:

Nothing tests your patience like a group chat blowing up your phone.

71 shares on Pinterest this month:

Any jar is a swear jar when the lid won’t open.

13 shares on WhatsApp this month:

If I ever find out who stole my identity, I’ll pay all their debts and ruin their credit score just for fun.

100 shares on Threads this month:

How dare my boss set up a meeting for the time I sneak off early?

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

24 folks are currently checking 👀

My mother still has some really ugly things from the 90s. My older brother, for example.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

This pillow isn’t going to scream into itself.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Jesus died for your sins. If you don’t sin then he died for nothing!

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I decided to be me and now we have a problem.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Source? It was revealed to me on my walk.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Like a fine bourbon, we get better with age. Or, at least, … we feel better about our age after drinking lots of bourbon!

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Bedtime procrastination isn’t a sleep issue. It’s a control issue. It’s about refusing to give up the last part of the day that feels like yours.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Croutons feel like an apology. “Sorry we gave you salad. Have some consolation toast.”

8 folks are currently checking 👀

The Slow and the Furious: me navigating a shopping cart through a grocery store filled with morons.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

“Beauty sleep” is bullshit. I sleep 14 hours a day and still look like trash.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,564

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

I miss being a kid. Nobody asks what my favorite dinosaur is anymore.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

Too poor for Ozempic but too undisciplined for strict diet and exercise. Is there a secret third option?

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

I used to think I was indecisive, but I’m not too sure any more.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

“Your sock has a hole in it!” Yeah, no shit, that’s how I get my foot in there.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

Cause of death: Trying to draw eyebrows on the neighbor’s cat.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

My swear jar is filing for an IPO soon.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

Unmarried in your 30s should honestly be rebranded as – ‘Congrats, you didn’t pick the wrong person out of panic’.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

You ever been in the middle of a conversation and realized this is why you avoid people?

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

Somethіng wrong іn your lіfe? There’s a nap for that.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

My wife is pretty excited about going away this weekend so I’m not sure she knows I’m coming with her.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Facebook:

I remember owning a mobile device as a kid, it was called my bike.

Going bananas on YouTube:

The sun is so successful because it has the perfect bedtime and morning routines.

Making waves on Telegram:

I’ve spent 80% of my adult life resetting my password.

Trending via Pinterest:

I’m naturally funny cause my whole life is a joke.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

My biggest fear is waking up and being in the Renaissance era or something. Imagine having the knowledge of hot dogs but lacking the tools to make them.

Trending via Threads:

I was in Paris with a boyfriend once and he lit a candle in Notre Dame in order to ask God to raise the price of Bitcoin.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I should go to jail so I can focus on the gym.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Maybe this is the Windows software update that changes everything for me.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Only at 27 do you become old, and then when you turn 30, you become younger than ever. That’s just how it goes.

Trending via Messenger:

Getting older means talking to less people and complaining about more people.

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