Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

The zero likes won’t stop me from posting. I will talk to myself if I have to.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

The only lesson I remember from the pandemic is that you’re only supposed to wash your hands if it’s your birthday.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

Somewhere there’s a girl ignoring 15 guys for a guy who gives her no attention.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

Spotify wrapped is like my annual mental health report and it’s getting worse by each passing year.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

Crazy part about being an overthinker is most times you right.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

I am a fool everyday, I don’t need a holiday for it.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

You should be able to call out of work if your partner is so cozy and warm in the morning.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

I’m so grateful when people tell me to drive safe, cause then I remember not to drive off that cliff.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

Do you say “Excuse me” to your pet when you walk by them, or are you rude?

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

If pigeons and chickens made a tribe, would they be called the coo clucks clan?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

218 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,487

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,487

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,582

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Facebook:

I was actually doing so well until your email found me.

Just landed via Facebook:

Me, one week before the new year: Not to brag, but I have enough money to live comfortably for the rest of the year.

Going viral on Instagram:

They portray Pilates like it’s this cute girly thing and it’s actually training for combat.

Trending via Twitch:

What’s my net worth? Buddy, I don’t own a net.

Spotted on Facebook:

People think I forgot the shit they said. Ain’t no expiration date on disrespect.

Making waves on YouTube:

Unemployed folks always have esoteric knowledge, for some reason.

Going viral on Instagram:

Of course there’s birth control for men. It’s called the way they act.

Trending via Threads:

Everyone’s a gangster until they have to say sorry.

Going viral on Slack:

No, it’s fine. I watched some cartoons and now I feel a little more at ease with your stupidness.

Seen just now on Messenger:

“I’m giving my daughter a male name, ain’t nobody cracking an Abdul.”

Dude, we’re biting off more than we can chew tonight if you want to pull up.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Looks like we're ordering from the all-you-can-eat menu of chaos tonight 🍔🍕🍟 Better make sure our appetites can handle it! 😂"

activity, biting, chew, dude, fun, night, pull, tonight, want

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Imagine how much better the world would be if everyone set aside their differences and came together as one to buy me a castle.

0

2 months ago

better, buy, came, castle, differences, everyone, humor, imagine, me, much, set, together, unity, world
Just came back from my walk, and I was right about everything.

0

2 months ago

activity, back, came, casual, casual activity, confidence, everything, humor, i, just, right, self-assurance, walk
I love when my grandma texts me — because I know it took her an hour.

0

2 months ago

family, gap, generational, generational gap, grandma, hour, humor, i, know, love, me, patience, technology, texting, texts
Don’t break someone’s heart, they have only one. Break their bones, they have 206 of them.

0

2 months ago

anatomy, bones, break, heart, humor, love, pain, relationship
I like listening to podcasts because it’s basically getting to enjoy a conversation without having to participate in it.

0

3 weeks ago

activity, communication, conversation, enjoy, enjoyment, getting, having, humor, i, listening, passive, passive activity, podcast
Humidity is great because then people think it’s not my fault that my hair looks like this.

0

2 months ago

excuse, fault, great, hair, humidity, looks, people, think

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

26 shares on Twitch this month:

My doctor told me to try a milk bath. Adding the Cinnamon Toast Crunch was my idea.

16 shares on TikTok this month:

Life on other planets be like: “I hope those lunatics don’t discover us!”

74 shares on X this month:

We literally used to write an essay by hand.

83 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Relationships: Because sometimes destroying your life is a two person job.

18 shares on Snapchat this month:

Managers want a week of silence and meditation in order to be even more of a manager afterwards.

54 shares on Snapchat this month:

Blocking isn’t enough. I wanna throw tomatoes at you like you’re a medieval criminal.

74 shares on Pinterest this month:

It’s not you. Just the things you say, think, and do.

96 shares on Threads this month:

Just saw someone my age running and she wasn’t chasing an ice-cream truck.

36 shares on LinkedIn this month:

When you first meet a man, that fake version of him be so fire.

36 shares on Threads this month:

Happy new fear!

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇴🇲 has viewed:

Eat like your treadmill is watching.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right louder.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

If you wanna make someone cry, just show them the earliest year they can retire.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

Hey dude, I recently became omniscient, and well, you fell off in every universe.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

The porn bots liking my posts from years ago is just reminding me that I’ve always been hilarious.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

How do I un-know people?

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

There’s no post-breakup healing process for girls. You just wake up one day and be like, “Ew,” and you’re free.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

The first guy to clap after seeing something cool must have been like “what the hell am I doing?”

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

I’m at an age where, when I’m tying my shoes, I think about what else I can do while I’m down here.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

I’ve cut my fingernails too short and now I can’t open my shower gel. What’s the point of being well-groomed if I can’t smell like mangos?

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on LinkedIn:

All these years on the internet we have been working for artificial intelligence.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Congratulations to the sweater, another year of being the most disgustingly named piece of clothing.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Egg nog was invented in Germany back in 1816 when Baron von Heldebrandt reportedly said “Hey guys, let’s get this custard drunk!”

Trending via Reddit:

Hearing my voice in recording makes me wanna apologize to every person I talked to.

Seen just now on Twitch:

The tarot lady on my TikTok said that you miss me.

Just shared via X:

I forgot how weird November is. There’s no afternoon; it’s just night after 3 p.m.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Once you understand why pizza is made round, packed in square boxes, and eaten as a triangle, then you will understand women.

Just shared via Facebook:

My dad wasn’t absent or present; he was a secret third thing.

Seen just now on Twitch:

I’m sick of diarrhea. I want to livarrhea.

Just landed via Messenger:

Eating dark chocolate is practically eating vegetables.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Dude, we’re biting off more than we can chew tonight if you want to pull up.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Imagine how much better the world would be if everyone set aside their differences and came together as one to buy me a castle.

Just came back from my walk, and I was right about everything.

I love when my grandma texts me — because I know it took her an hour.

Don’t break someone’s heart, they have only one. Break their bones, they have 206 of them.

I like listening to podcasts because it’s basically getting to enjoy a conversation without having to participate in it.

Humidity is great because then people think it’s not my fault that my hair looks like this.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨